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New Member
Member Since Nov 2023
Location: United States
Posts: 5
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#1
Starting in my early 20s I was in a relationship for 8 years. The first four of those we had amazing sex, we filmed ourselves doing it often. We got a rush from doing it in public places risking getting noticed such as clubs, rest areas, beaches. After our first child was born, our sex life changed to the other extreme. No sex at all. To this day I’m not sure what exactly happened but the fact is my ex quit loving me. She became distant and defensive. A lot happened the last year we were together, her father passed away, she got fired at her job and she found ways to blame me for just about everything. We got divorced and I begun dating again two years later. I found a nice girl and I ended up marrying her two years after that. Sex was never great. She does not like giving or getting oral sex, hates the idea of filming during sex, and has no interest in having sex in public spaces. However, she is very predictable and steady. We’ve been together 5 years now and have had a child. We have sex twice a week on average and it’s nothing to write home about but it gets the job done. I do miss the wild, risky sex I had with my ex in my 20s. I know deep inside that the honesty and commitment I have in my current partner far outweighs the fun I had but I miss so much the high highs I had while having crazy sex with my ex. I sure hope that the yearning goes away over time, or that I come to understand why I placed so much value on that wild unrestrained sex. Thoughts?
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,188
2 804 hugs
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#2
So, you're in your mid-thirities now?
I've been involved with the Lifestyle and BDSM. I'm celibate now, but if I were to enter into another relationship, it would need to be open... but, alas, I'm getting long in the tooth, so I'd probably settle for cocoa. haha From my p-o-v, if you liked what you experienced, you're probably always going to think about it from time to time. |
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New Member
Member Since Nov 2023
Location: United States
Posts: 5
|
#3
Quote:
Yes, I am in my late thirties now. In principle, it shouldn't be difficult to think about the things I liked in the past and accept that they are no longer there. For example, my grandma has passed. She was an amazing person and I loved spending time with her. I don't think about her every day, or even every week or every month. I live in peace with the fact that she is no longer with us. Yet somehow I miss my ex way more than grandma even when grandma had a way bigger role in raising me. Makes no sense. I like your point of view, I have no problem thinking about it from time time. That is manageable. When the thinking becomes craving it is when it becomes unmanageable for me. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,188
2 804 hugs
given |
#4
A "craving ... it becomes unmanageable..."?
That sounds like language used in a 12-step program. Have you been to such a group? What do you think? Do you have an addiction? |
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
Posts: 2,687
(SuperPoster!)
3 1,211 hugs
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#5
This is not an addiction.
I am sorry you cannot recreate what you had with your current woman. __________________ Bipolar I w/psychotic features Last inpatient stay in 2018 Geodon 40 mg Seroquel 75 mg Lybalvi 5 mg as a PRN Gabapentin 1200 mg, Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects) Long term side effects from medications some of them discontinued: - hypothyroidism - obesity Suspected narcolepsy Treated with Ritalin 5mg |
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