[cyberwarrior]

Hi
I am living in a catch-22 situation, damned if you do and damned if you don't and it is getting very tough. i suffer from some chronic physical illnesses which get worse with stress, i also got mental health issues, anxiety, PTSD, and grieve, to name a few.
I am also a carer to my wife who has physical and mental health issues. one of her biggest is Anthropophobia and PTSD.
My caring role is very stressful as it is an emotional roller coaster not knowing how my day is going to be in relation to my wife’s moods.
Before her breakdown, we were active swingers, carefree and i could satisfy my sexual addiction and indeed use it to help with a very stressful life.
Now that is not possible and my wife is not on the same plane anymore, insofar she is not interested in sex as much as she used to be.
So in this regard, we are very much opposites now.
But i love her and i will stay with her, but i need sex. So any ideas are welcome, any anybody know any low-cost online counseling?

[TheGal]

Maybe someone at Human Verification could direct you to low-cost online counselling.

You were a swinger (I myself dabbled...) so why not ask your wife for her consent for you get back into The Lifestyle? That way you won't be "cheating" on her.

Also be aware that there is such a thing as a high sex drive, but that is different from the constant need to self-soothe which sex can also be. Are there other things you could do to self-soothe that wouldn't be harmful to yourself or others?

Or other activities: Lifting weights / Bodybuilding perhaps? Swimming?

[VabGirl]

good ideas!!

[cyberwarrior]

You were a swinger (I myself dabbled...) so why not ask your wife for her consent for you get back into The Lifestyle? That way you won't be "cheating" on her.

Also be aware that there is such a thing as a high sex drive, but that is different from the constant need to self-soothe which sex can also be. Are there other things you could do to self-soothe that wouldn't be harmful to yourself or others?

Or other activities: Lifting weights / Bodybuilding perhaps? Swimming?

She has mental health issues and i have to respect that due to a trauma 10 years previously, so i would not cheat or go swinging. My physical conditions or rheumatoid arthritis and ulcerative colitis stop me from doing a lot of physical exercise, the housework is even too much. When i go out my wife comes with me in the car, she does not stay alone at the house but feels safe in the car. The nearest pub/bar 30 miles nearest shop 30 miles so is the nearest swimming pool and our pool water is too cold for me sadly.
Thanks for the suggestions.

[TheGal]

I'm so sorry for your and your wife's struggles.

What do you do to meet your needs? Do you watch porn? Would that be a bad thing to do?

Do check out heypeers.com and also DBSA - Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance for support.

There are also online sex addiction support groups that you could look up.

I would also suggest Bessel van der Kolk (book The Body Keeps Score, also his YouTube clips about trauma).

I wish I could've been more helpful.

[TheGal]

I also looked this up, maybe it would be helpful?

"healthy ways to self soothe"

Also do you like music and gardening? For your wife, too?

Learning an instrument might be helpful?

I collect good classical and jazz CDs from thrift stores. But I also find sing aloud helps me.