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New Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Florida
Posts: 6
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Jan 03, 2024 at 01:41 AM
#1
Hello, my boyfriend admitted to having a sex addiction a couple weeks ago after i went no contact with him after i broke up with him for cheating and lying. I offered support and compassion and broke the nc and its like his "addiction" went away.. which i know is not the case. I can't be more supportive or understanding without being even more an idiot than i already am. Could someone with sex addiction please explain to me what its like to have it? Ive caught him lying already about downloading grindr and even with proof on his phone he denies it. I just don't get it.
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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
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Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,414
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Jan 03, 2024 at 02:29 PM
#2
@Honeycat I am sorry your boyfriend is having challenges with sex addiction. Like any addiction it just does not go away, it takes a lot of work, therapy and lifestyle changes to get things under control.
Codependence is where the addicted person convinces someone to take care or them or take them back and that person believes them and devotes their time, energy and money to the addicted person either directly or directly or indirectly support them even while they display their habitual actions by continually giving them more and more chances, money and support. Addicts will say anything to get their addiction filled: actions and words. You could ask them if they are willing to go into treatment and make helping them dependent on successfully completing treatment plus couples counselling. Those are just my peer ideas. @CANDC __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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New Member
Member Since Dec 2023
Location: South America
Posts: 9
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Jan 03, 2024 at 02:44 PM
#3
A person maybe being addicted to something (you have nothing to go on beyond his word) does not in any way justifies unethical behavior. If he felt unable to control an addictive impulse he could have come clean beforehand with you, possibly end or pause the relationship on friendly terms until when/if he could bring this matter under control. The fact he instead lied and cheated shows that beyond any possible addiction he does not care nor respect you. There is no reason for you to remain in contact with this man.
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 Rive.
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New Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Florida
Posts: 6
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Jan 04, 2024 at 10:43 PM
#4
I agree.
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