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New Member
Member Since May 2009
Posts: 1
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May 10, 2009 at 05:24 PM
#1
At the end of March, I contacted my ex-boyfriend by phone to seek his assistance with a matter involving a state agency. Currently, he serves as a state legislator. When I explained my predicament to him, he proposed a solution. He would resolve my problem with the state agency if I were to become his f**k buddy.
As you can imagine, I was aghast and horrified by this indecent proposal. For starters, I had not expected his proposition. I was the one to end our relationship seven years ago because he was suffering from a drinking problem and serving probation for two, misdemeanor offenses. For the past four years, I have been happily married to my husband. My ex knew my marital status. What average citizen expects that she will have to exchange a sexual favor in order to receive the assistance of a politician? When I relayed this conversation to a mutual friend of the ex, the friend informed me that the ex had not been faithful during our relationship. The friend claimed that the ex would hook up with random men for sex in parks and restrooms. According to the friend, the ex befriended these men through gay chat rooms. In addition, the ex had been trolling the gay clubs at night when we were not together. Unfortunately, this is not the first time that I have heard this allegation regarding my ex. A roommate of the ex had tried to warn me about his extracurricular activities when I was dating him. The roommate claimed that the ex was cheating on me with guys. At the time, I thought that the accusation was ludicrous and refused to give it any merit. Hindsight is always 20/20. A week later, I contacted my ex by phone to discuss this claim made by the mutual friend. I assured the ex that I had no interest in making such a salacious inquiry if it were not prompted out of a concern for my health and that of my spouse's. Then, the ex started screaming into the phone that he "owed me no responsibility for his actions" during our relationship. Next, he threatened me with a criminal prosecution for discussing this topic. In response, I hung up on him. The following week, I was screened anonymously at a STD clinic. When I was being examined at the clinic, a doctor noticed a papilloma (wart like mass) on my genitalia. No abnormalities were noticed on my husband's genitalia. All other STD testing was negative. When I learned about the mass, I asked the doctor if the ex should be tested. She advised that he be screened given his high risk sexual behavior. However, she recommended that if I were to notify him to keep it very brief. She suggested that I state that I had a moral and legal obligation to contact him about this medical issue because I was a former partner. In retrospect, I should have retained an attorney to handle the notification. I had hoped that the ex would have been more reasonable after taking some time to reflect upon our previous conversation. I decided to send him a brief e-mail to divulge the news. My intention was to not engage into a shouting match over the phone. Unfortunately, his response was to threaten me with a restraining order. Since that interaction with the ex, I have consulted with an attorney. The lawyer has advised me to have no further contact with the ex which is not an issue from my perspective. The attorney recommended that I change my phone number and block my ex from my primary e-mail address. Furthermore, the attorney believes that I should file a formal complaint with the ethics commission in my state because he believed that my ex abused his position as an office holder by propositioning and then threatening me. When I consulted with my regular gynecologist two weeks ago, she also observed this abnormality on my genitalia. She was convinced that it was attributed to the human papilloma virus (HPV). As a preventative measure, she decided to excise it for a biopsy. Unfortunately, the result of the biopsy last week confirmed that I have been infected with HPV. This past month has been a living hell for me. According to another friend, the ex is defaming me around the state capital. He is alleging that I contracted a STD because I was promiscuous and had cheated on my husband. Anyone who knows me will dismiss this claim as patently false. Since the biopsy, I have experienced a wide range of emotions. I'm feeling very betrayed by the ex because I lost my virginity to him and miscarried a child with him. Furthermore, I abstained from using a condom because the religion that I practiced at the time (Catholicism) has a prohibition on the use of contraceptives. Naively, I assumed that I was in a monogamous relationship. In addition, the ex was promising marriage. Now, I'm afraid that I will be confronted with a lifetime of regret and medical complications for a foolhardy decision seven years ago. Belle |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,946
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May 12, 2009 at 10:09 PM
#2
 May I suggest that you forget about the ex and move forward with your husband..... learn to love & live in the present and keep in mind that the ex has brought you nothing but ill feelings and a std. |
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Member
Member Since Aug 2005
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 165
18 |
May 13, 2009 at 08:10 AM
#3
>> to have no further contact <<
This is a toxic situation. Follow the attorney's advice and if you are moderately open with the husband - talk to him about it too. You need to be able to share this with him to get his support as well. Keep him in the loop on this. Your situation seems a bit like my wife's "ex-fiance" from back in the 90s. However, you may have more posion in that ex of yours than hers. He is horrible (from what you wrote) and you probably should not have contacted him regarding the state matter. I know politicians have a bad-rap in the news about their misuse of power. This is one more example of that. Avoid him as you would any other predator. __________________ How can anyone be enlightened? Truth is after all so poorly lit. -- Neil Peart |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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