Bi Gay? Guilt + confusion

I'm not very comfortable with posting here but here I go anyway lol

I'm not sure if I am Bi or Lesbian but I am guessing Bi here lol I was always a tomboy as a little girl and never liked girly stuff much until my later years in life.

Here is my dilemma: I will notice a good looking guy but do not want him approaching me or touching me and get very very annoyed when a guy flirts with me but I was sexually abused as a little girl for a little less than a year so I don't know if it is as a result of that that I don't feel sexually attracted to men? I do drool over movie stars lol but that is as far as it goes. With girls I feel more that I am more attracted too them and more comfortable with. I have never dated men or woman because of this confusion and now I feel than I am to inexperienced and not sure how to go about starting to date.

Family and work: At work it is very hard, my bosses wife is a newly reborn christian and she says that we are going to hell, but that we can be changed if we asked for help so I am very scared that she will find out and arrange an exorsist to help me lol She is messing with my head and everytime she opens her mouth I feel worst and guiltier about my feelings.

My mother says she is okay with gay people but she is always telling me not to wear certian things because people will think I'm gay and almost found myself telling her just out of anger. Mysister kind of knows and pretends to be a little ok with it but looks uncomfortable and doesn't want to talk about it with me so i have no one els.

Any advise would greatly be appretiated.

Oh ugh, good luck with the boss's wife...nothing like somebody deciding you're among the damned...

I don't have much experience in this area, but it sure sounds like you have issues with your childhood abuse interfering with how you feel about men now... It sounds as though you want access to that part of yourself that is attracted to men, but the bad experiences from childhood are making it difficult.

Have you talked to a good psychotherapist? Not to trot that out as the "standard solution" for everybody , but it really sounds like you have some things to unravel here.

Hi, I'm sorry you are going through so much confusion. I have found out through personal experience that it doesn't matter whether you are bisexual or lesbian. For that matter it doesn't matter whether you've been sexually abused or not. What matters is that you are comfortable with your sexuality. See a therapist and talk about these concerns with them. It will help a lot.

I agree with Michele. It doesn't really matter if you can't figure out if you are attracted to just girls, or girls and guys alike. Sexuality is very fluid. I consider myself to be a lesbian, but they are those moments when you see a guy and can't help thinking how attractive they are, you know? I find it best to go with your intuition. My girlfriend has told me if she wasn't with me, she'd probably be with a guy instead, and I'm cool with that. Gender and personality are both big factors in deciding who you are going to date.

For your boss's crazy wife -- don't worry about her. There is always going to be those people who think that they're doing you a HUGE favor by belittling your feelings and telling you that you're going to hell. I've found it best to ignore them, because there isn't anything you can say to change their mind. Just be proud of who you are, and everything will be a.o.k.

And as for your mom and sister -- it takes a while for families to come around when you come out. Just give them time, and keep reminding them that you are the same person that you have always been. Love is love.