[angelsofthesilences]

I'm 19 and I'm attracted to older men. Like I'm very attracted to a 44 year old man. call me crazy but i'm hoping its just a phase.

[Rhapsody]

This is seen in a lot in daughters that are still looking for that perfect father figure even after they have grown up and leave home to be on their own.... they seek an emotional fulfillment that daddy never gave them through dating older men.

Could this possibly be you?

[_Hope_]

i am 37 and i have always liked older men like between 10-20 years older than me, but i married a man about my own age so we would grow old together and i hate it sometimes

[salukigirl]

When I was 17 I 'dated' a 27 year old. I used to be the same way then I came to a realization: if a guy that much older than me can have so much in common with me, then that probably indicates a problem in their maturity level. When you're that young, even a few years can make a huge difference. Think about yourself? Your personality and views as a 16 year old compared to as a 19 year old are probably very different. Not to mention just the generation gap.

When you get older its not such a big deal because you figure that both of you have gotten over all the stupid crap young people do in relationships but when you're still young I don't think it's a very good idea.

That's not to say it's not normal though. I agree that it probably has to do with looking for a father figure. I have always dated guys at least a few years older than me, typically about 5-6 years older than me (at least) and I really didn't have a father figure growing up. I had a father, but he was more of a pal than a dad. The kind that buys you and your friends liquor at 16 years old and didn't care that I started smoking at 14. So I was constantly seeking out guys that would give me that 'discipline' and kind of control me I guess.

I ended up cutting off ties with my dad for a while to do some 'soul searching' and once I learned to separate my life from his and learned that I can't control that part of my life (my father's life) it became a lot easier to 'act my own age' and be more comfortable with myself and not seek the approval of older men.

[littleyellowspider]

I was the same way for a while. And actually I feel I was attracted to men that reminded me of my father. It has lessened over time. I know several people like this too. I don't think you need to worry.

[stormydaye]

Usually someone who dates or marries a man much older than they are have father issues...it's like they are trying to replace or make up for things they missed or needed from their father.

If there is love and you're not a trophy, then there really isn't anything wrong with dating an older man...just be sure it's for the right reasons.

Hugs,
Stormy

[Tumnus]

When I was thirteen I realized I was attracted to men (and women) in their thirties and forties. I don't think it's weird. I do agree with a possible parent-figure connection. That's worth exploring.