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New Member
Member Since Jun 2009
Posts: 1
14 |
Jun 05, 2009 at 05:22 PM
#1
i am a 19 year old lesbian, who has a job and is in college. but every one seems to only see the little girl i use to be, and im not. i jus dont know how to get through to my parents!?
i just wanna know who is going through this besides me? and how can i justify it? |
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Pet Lady of Psychcentral
Member Since Sep 2005
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 4,564
18 71 hugs
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Jun 06, 2009 at 04:14 PM
#2
i wish i could help you. When i came out, i told a cousin who spread the news like wildfire. The news did not reach her until she was safely ensconced on a cruise...during this time to think. I also did not call her. She called later to say everything was cool. But each coming out is different. eventual they have to come to some kind of acknowledgement. But you are not straight, they will come to realize that.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Dec 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,124
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Jun 06, 2009 at 10:13 PM
#3
(((smiley)))
i was in a same sex relationship when i was 18. i was still ambivalent about my sexuality, however, so i never really came out to anyone. my gf joined the queer society at her campus, though, and she found it really helpful. and eventually i started hanging around with them a lot too (like, when we went out and stuff) and it really helped to have ppl accept you as you are and not deny or ignore your sexuality in that way. it doesn't help on the parents front, of course, but it is kind of like a shield. being validated through other means, and also seeing positive role models of ppl making this queer thing work! |
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 notz
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,946
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Jun 12, 2009 at 12:13 AM
#4
While I am not a lesbian (married 23 yr) I have many friends that are gay and I gladly accept them as they are (males & females) and I am comfortable knowing who they are and being with them publicly as I do with all my friends - ((( hugs )))
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notz
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Grand Member
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: Seattle
Posts: 869
15 69 hugs
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Jun 17, 2009 at 01:33 PM
#5
Quote:
I also rememember coming out. Fortunately for me I lived in a primarily gay/lesbian neighborhood at that time. My advice to you is to get involved with lesbian groups on campus The kinship you will have with these groups will help a lot. I don't really know what to say about your parents. I know that when I came out to them it was frustrating. I know that eventually they accepted my sexual orientation. My advice as far as your parents go, I guess would be for you to live your own life and try not to be too concerned about their approval or disapproval. Yes, I know that that would be very hard. But I do have to tell you that being a sexual minority is very, very hard at times and the main thing is to have the support of other like minded people. 
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notz
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Oct 2008
Location: Notzville
Posts: 60,397
(SuperPoster!)
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Jun 17, 2009 at 01:58 PM
#6
Smiley,
There are some really good words people have shared with you. All that I can add is to encourage you to continue your education, always save plenty of money, be a good citizen, wife, daughter, mother, friend or just be a stand up individual. Be true to thine own self and the rest will follow. Parents and others, in their own time, will come to respect you for you, if you do the right things. One can only hope to be thought of by their honorable deeds so that's good reason to be a good person. Your sexuality is part of who you are, but it isn't who you are. That my dear, is how you live your life, day in and day out. Work hard, play hard, love beautifully! __________________  notz |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2007
Posts: 160
16 |
Jun 21, 2009 at 02:50 PM
#7
Quote:
I think having a hard time seeing your child as a young adult and not your little girl is pretty normal for many parents. (Not that it still isn't frustrating for the young adult.) That will change as you display more and more maturity and independence I imagine. Now as for them accepting their "little girl" as an adult lesbian that certainly would throw a hitch in it but I think the answer is still the same. As you show maturity, independence, and most of all as they see you happy in your relationships they will likely come around. I think mostly what parents want is for their children to be happy. |
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2009
Posts: 15
14 |
Jul 27, 2009 at 07:04 PM
#8
Sometimes people need time to get used to that sort of thing. Sometimes they need alot of time.
Maybe after you bring a girlfriend home for them to meet it will help make things more real and un-ignorable for them. |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2009
Posts: 75
14 |
Aug 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
#9
What would I advice you is making hints. Start presenting your girlfriend to your parents, start to making little hints that you having feelings for her. Then confessed.
It will be hard, but hope you all the best 
__________________ 
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Member
Member Since Sep 2009
Location: On the Chinvat Bridge
Posts: 45
14 |
Sep 06, 2009 at 08:36 PM
#10
I'm 20 years on and basically a lesbian, I still consider myself bi-sexual but currently I'm seem to be only interested in women, but I have had experiences with men.
I think you should look yourself in the mirror and accept yourself as a lesbian, because when you get right down to it that is what matters most. As far as others, from personal experience I can tell you that some will accept you, some won't, just the way it is. Take care
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