realisation

I dunno if it'sjust me thinking this or if I'm way off the deep end...I'm not a feminist and I don't intentionally put men down...but I've realised how much power and control they have over women if a woman allows them to have that power. When I was in highschool I had a crush on one teacher...i was too innocent to understand the dynamics of relationships and how older men can take advantage of a younger woman if they want to....I thought this guy cared for my well-being...i put a lot of trust and faith in his actions....i realised now that he did not care at all for me...or what would happen to me...he said certain things which were suggestive but I didn't understand because i never had sexual intercourse at that age and I thought he was just being friendly or suggesting i was a nice looking girl...but now I realise that he could ahve gotten me into bed if I was sexually attracted to me...and he wouldn't care how this would effect me later in life....it effects me now because I didn't have much of a family to rely on...and for once I felt safe and secure when I was around him....today I can't get him out of my mind no matter how hard I try to move on....my bfs don't compare to him...

my mother also told me about how my niece slept with a manager to get a job....my bf told me that tat happens all the time...i guess i live in a cave because no one told me this...I remember being hit on by managers...but I never took it seriously...I guess now I know better and can take care of myself and no where is best to work...I wish life was not like this...I wish we were all honest and treated everyone with respect

Yes, BUT ...

What you did not realize also at the time would be the flip side of that ... how much power over HIM being in that position gave YOU.

What a pity.

you say you're not a feminist but if you read your paragraph.....you basically defined yourself as one. and feminism isn't just about power to women, it's equality to ALL. that includes men, transgendered people etc...

a good way to look at it is think about how him acting like that defines his character. although you might have lust for him, you don't have love for him. because any man that treats a school aged girl as a sex object is, for lack of a better phrase, f-ed up. so, instead of focusing on the physical attraction or your attraction to the IDEA of him, think about what him acting like that means. I think if you think about it that way you'll have another realization. And this one will be "how could I be attracted to such a pig?"

to make things a little more clear...i did not have lust for him...i never thought of him sexually...I thought of him as someone I felt safe revealing my personal information to...I thought of him as a father figure...and I still think of him in a non sexual way...but in a way that makes me feel safe...even though i know I shoudln't think of him in that way at all...I guess in someways I wish that he had been a good person and I still think that maybe he was...that he wasn't taking advantage of me...and to amke thigns more clear...I enver had sex with him...and I wouldn't have because I didn't think of him sexually

I believe that men and women should be equal...but...whatever...I dunno why i posted here...i don't think anyone understands what I've felt or what I'm trying to get across...I've been hurt by someone I thought I could trust and it has caused me a lot of damage

I don't remember where I heard this, but it was from a psychologist.... and he/she stated that "we teach people how they can treat us" (or mistreat us in this case), therefore, it is the adult being done wrong that is allowing the mistreatment.

Food for Thought:
If a person does not allow IT - IT cannot happen.

Wow I feel like no one is understanding anything of what I'm saying...I dunno why i posted at all...what about rapes...what about child molestation....I did not lead this guy on...

The teacher you had a crush on was a horrible human being if he tried to take advantage of a school girl crush. Is it hind sight now telling you that the things that he said to you or touched you inappropriately?

yes...thank you AAAAA...you understand what I'm trying to say and I think you explain it more clearly. At the time...I had a crush on this teacher...not in a sexual way at all...but because he was a role model and I thought he was someone I could trust...

that being said...he did say some things which were inappropriate...at that age...I didn't understand the whole meaning behind them...but I knew that something was wrong

today...i now realise that he could have taken advantage of me...and I thank god for my good intentions and my little sexual knowledge...or this man might have gotten me into bed...I had a feeling that he had gotten other girls into bed by how he acted around other girls...

I'm really sorry that your trust was violated in such a way.

That is why I stated ADULTS and not children in my post - (minus sexual abuse of course).

I am a victim of childhood abuse and I know you did not lead him on.... ((( hugs )))

I agree with that statement entirely Rhapsody. There are the situations that you have no control over (rape, child molestation for example) but in all other relationships I am a firm believer you set the tone for how you're treated. The hard part (I think) is realizing that you deserve to be treated in a certain way and if that friend/ lover whatever will not treat you that way move on, someone will.