What am I..??.HELP...

Hi everyone, this is my first post ,pleased to meet you all..Feel surprisingly awkward and nervous writing all this for the first time but here goes..

I'm a 34yr old male and for as long as I can remember I have been sexually aroused by women's clothes and shoes (particularly boots)..I know this is not uncommon but more recently I have become particularly turned on by shemales and crossdressers...I fantasise most of the time about dressing up myself, which sometimes I manage to do ,but my living arrangement (ended up back at the parents..) makes it very rare...I don't feel feminine when I dress, but I just love the way the clothes feel and how it feels to walk in heels...The problem I've got is that I don't understand why this has all happened and why I get turned on fantasising about shemales/crossdressers and watching related porn...I don't feel the slightest sexual attraction to men, but I would probably have sex with a crossdresser...

I really want to be able to have a normal intimate relationship with a woman but I always feel that I'm being dishonest because I know the mixed up rubbish going through my head..this just makes me feel guilty and ashamed all of the time which affects every relationship I have..As a result I have ended up with no friends or life apart from going to work..

If anyone out there has gone through anything remotely similar or can offer any advice or different ways of looking at things then please,please ,get in touch..

Sorry if this went on a bit and is a bit fragmented, but I found it harder than I thought to put into words the confusion in my head...

Thanks for taking the time to read this...

While I have not gone through any of this myself I have heard of many heterosexual relationships that works well even when one of the partners (usually the male) likes to cross dress.... hang in there and be your self at all cost and wait for the right woman to comes along - and she will.

First you should no you are definetly not the only man who feels this way.

I am a lesbian and I am active in the LGBT (lesbian gay bisexual transgender) community.

My best advice is to do some reading. Maybe go to some LGBT websites. Or contact the Gay and Lesbian Center in the closest metropolitan area. They should be able to point you in the direction of some resources or support groups.

You are definitely not the only one who is felling like this. It's all a matter of finding someone who can accept you for the person you are without question. If a woman can't handle someone who cross dresses she needs to get her head out of her ***** and get out more.

There is poetry in despair.



Love attracts all those who taint the cherished.

Yes, I understand how you feel and you are not alone in the world.

My attraction (and perhaps yours as well) is for androgyny. I like the blended male/female appearance and it took me a long time to realize that this particular attraction is perfectly fine. Your preferences may not be exactly the same as mine, but they're in the same ballpark. We both must simply accept ourselves for what we are.

You need to stand up for your self-identity. There is nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to apologize for. Explain to people, whenever the subject happens to arise, exactly who you are and then let the chips fall where they may.

It won't be an easy path to follow, but your only chance for happiness lies upon it.