 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
New Member
Member Since Jul 2009
Posts: 1
14 |
Jul 17, 2009 at 01:59 AM
#1
The thought of having sex with someone else scares me half to death. The thought just scares me for unexplained reasons. I told my boyfriend I want to wait until marriage to have sex but secretly even then, I don't know if i want to even have sex after marriage.
My boyfriend is completely okay with it and doesn't pressure me at all. I am thankful for that. Unfortunately, I just don't know where this fear of sex came from. Any ideas? |
|
 Reply With Quote
|
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,946
18 1 hugs
given 
|
Jul 17, 2009 at 11:28 PM
#2
Secret fears are only unknown to the conscience mind... the unconscience mind (soul) knows every thing we feel, love, hate and fear.... might I suggest some counseling, if only for a short while, to help you locate the source of your fear toward sex?
May I ask? - is there any history of sexual abuse... I ask because this can create fear toward sex. |
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2009
Location: CA
Posts: 1,415
15 19 hugs
given
|
Jul 17, 2009 at 11:35 PM
#3
Maybe your terrified of sex because you are not happy with your body image? Are you even comfortable with the idea of getting naked with someone else? Like Rhapsody said maybe some therapy for even a short while to explore why you feel this way would be good. I wish you luck on working through this.
__________________ I'm here to deal with my "issues". 
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
who reads this, anyway?
Member Since Oct 2006
Location: Appalachia
Posts: 9,968
17
|
Jul 18, 2009 at 01:49 AM
#4
Might I suggest that you explore what pleasures you so that when you do have sex you will know what makes you feel good and can share that with your partner. Toys could be fun. Try different fantasies and get to know yourself.
Also you don't need to hurry to have sex. I often found it fun to kiss and get into some heavy petting and touch each other but it doesn't have to be actual sex to have fun. Perhaps some music playing could be fun. There are some songs that I always thought would be fun to listen to while having sex. And most important accept yourself and realize that everybody is different and what is fun for one person might not be for another. __________________ The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
Jul 21, 2009 at 10:22 AM
#5
One thing I notice is you are putting your problems onto your boyfriend and he has no idea its even happening......
Maybe a bit of honesty with him rather than let him find out after you are married ? |
|
Reply With Quote
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
