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New Member
Member Since Aug 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4
14 |
#1
hello, no matter what I do I am never really satisfied sexually. I mean I can have sex and have an orgasim, but later that day or the next day I want to have sex again. It's always been like this for me and all I want and can think about is sex.
I have even thought about going to a sex class to get help, but am afraid I will hook up with some guys there and have sex with them. I am married and have been for going on 7 years, but he is not into sex. He is happy with every two weeks. The sad part is, I get b*tchy and pissed if I don't get sex. any suggestions on how to lesson this desire. |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Aug 2009
Location: woodville, swadlincote, England
Posts: 450
14 |
#2
have you told your husband how you feel? it's hard when you have really differing sex drives but what you have to ask yourself is - Is it a deal breaker for you that he wont have sex?
if you seriously think you could cheat you definately have to speak to him about it. |
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New Member
Member Since Aug 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4
14 |
#3
my husband knows I LOVE SEX, but if I try to tell him about things he gets mad. I am just so frustrated
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Pirate Goddess
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: South Jersey, USA
Posts: 5,246
18 513 hugs
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#4
Well, first of all, you may not be "oversexed," for which there's no definition, anyway. Even though your husband may not share your desires for sex, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you (or him); you probably just have different sex drives.
If you and your husband can't come to a compromise, maybe you should seek a sex therapist and both of you go. (If he won't, then go yourself.) If you're having problems controlling yourself, feeling that you might cheat, then you may very well have a problem, and again, I'd recommend seeing a sex therapist. Having different sexual desires is not a reason to cheat. __________________ Maven If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream. Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Aug 2009
Location: woodville, swadlincote, England
Posts: 450
14 |
#5
if he cant talk about it then perhaps maven's suggestion of a therapist is the right way to go. you both deserve to be able to be honest and open about how you feel and it doesn't sound like you can do that right now.
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Member
Member Since Jul 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 29
14 |
#6
I have the same issue but reversed. I need help too. My wife knows I love it, hell when we first met, six times back to back. I could do it at least once a day. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with having sex several times a day. After all, it's about the survival of the species. However, if you can't control those urges and let it go then may be a bigger issue...BTW I thought about going to a group but have been afraid also too that I'd get involved and really didn't want that.
__________________ super fragile cow licks xp alley nachos (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious as defined by me.) |
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2007
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 7
16 |
#7
Aloha All!
I've noticed that no one has mentioned the one thing that some people call the "Great Equalizer". Especially when used to save marriages. I've actually read in other forums that lots of people (both guys and gals) use masturbation as at least some sort of a release for them. Some couples have good enough communication that they can have their spouse either do oral or with their hands as a form of 'intercourse replacement'. I know that solo sex isn't the same as making love with your partner, but lots think it is better than cheating on their spouses because they do love their spouses and think that when they DO make love, it was well worth the wait. Some even incorporate sex toys that do the "work" for them. For gals, a simple vibrator usually is enough and for guys? You'd be surprised at the advances the sex toy industry has made as far as male sex toys go. So a search for them and take a look, nothing wrong with it at all. Especially if it saves what would be considered a good marriage otherwise. OK? OK! Old Geezer (at 54!) __________________ Happily married for 30 years. 3 Children. Lived for 25 yrs in Minnesota then we moved to Hawaii. Have lived here for 20+ yrs so far. Perm. Disabled since 2005 from 3 failed disc surgeries. All started in March 1997. I managed to cry/suffer for 9 yrs as an accountant until I had to "throw in the towel" on a 30 yr Accountant career. |
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Pirate Goddess
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: South Jersey, USA
Posts: 5,246
18 513 hugs
given |
#8
Old Geezer, that's an excellent point. Masturbation and toys can greatly enhance a couple's sex life. Unfortunately, a lot of people--girls and women, especially--are taught or given the message that masturbation is dirty, wrong, bad. They also get the idea that they're not "enough" for a guy if he masturbates, or that he's cheating on them with himself. I'm sure there are guys who feel this way when a woman does it, but I've mostly heard it in the context of men masturbating. If you read some of the many books on improving your sex life and learning about sex in general, it can help you overcome this idea. I was taught that masturbation was nasty and wrong, so I felt guilty about it until I learned more (fortunately, I had a strong curiosity about sex as a teenager--I didn't have sex until I became an adult, but I masturbated and learned not to be embarrassed about admitting it).
__________________ Maven If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream. Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,946
18 1 hugs
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#9
From my own experience, having been on both sides of the fence at one time or another, you cannot make a person have sex if their body and mind is not into it..... it just wont happen.
Getting some sex toys for when you are wanting and your husband is not sounds like a good ideal - feel free to pm me for a link to a good (and safe) adult website. |
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