[crby1988]

Hello. I am a 21 year old female. I've been in a committed relationship with a man my age for 3 years. About one year into our relationship I began to experience sexual-emotional dysfunction with my boyfriend. He was my first sex partner, and our sex life thrived for the first year or so, but then I began to feel extremely uncomfortable, ashamed, and I lost sexual interest in him. I still love him, however I am no longer sexually attracted to him. We came up with an arrangement where I satisfy his sexual needs. The problem is that I have recently realized that on a purely sexual level, women are much more appealing than men are. However, my romantic sexual fantasies i.e. the ones that involve emotional satisfaction always involve men, though not my boyfriend. I also get crushes on men. Other levels of attraction with my boyfriend are dwindling also, but for different reasons. So as it is written in my post, my sexual loyalties seem to lie with women, where my emotional ones lie with men. Can anybody shed light on this? Is there anything that can be definitively gleaned from these proclivities?

[tishtosh]

hi i know this feeling its very familiar to mine im 21 also and female. im engaged to a man iv been with for 2yrs. i always knew that i was bi this might not be the case for you. point is im sexually attracted to woman and men im emotinally attracted to its hard but you will figure it out. It doesnt have to mean your Gay/bi. But when you do figure it out you wont be bothered. try talking to your bf?

[Xelora]

Well my bisexuality has been confusing me lately too. I'm not sure I have any helpful advice but I have a few thoughts.

For me, I really don't think I realized I could fall in love so deeply with a woman until it happened. So I guess reading what you wrote (though I don't know you that well or if you've had a chance to really be involved with women) I wonder if the reason you don't feel the deep attachment with women, or don't think you would, is because you haven't had a particular person to attach to?

I mean I don't think fantasies are the same as reality as far as emotional feelings go, and you've probably had a lifetime of hearing male/female romantic stories to boost the fantasies.

Well I could be totally off because I'm thinking a lot about just my own experience in this, but those are my thoughts.

[Rhapsody]

Is this scenario possible.....

It sounds as though you might be having old resonation from past wounds that have to do with the men in your life, past emotional hurts or sexual abuse, and now your present mind finds it easier to attach to the female form for love and acceptance instead of taking the risk in loving a man, that which deeply hurt you in the past - left you damaged.