Lesbians murdered...

I am so disgusted in mankind at this moment. I live in South Africa and at this moment we have a murder trial going on that's very upsetting. The captain of our womens' soccer team was tortured and murdered with knives in a brutal way because she was a lesbian. In African culture black men don't accept lesbians and gay people and are especially cruel to them. They think that they should rape gay women to set them straight. There has been countless murders of women in this country just because of their sexual prejudice. This is like an epidemic. I can't believe the cruelty people are capable of. These poor women just wanted the right to live the way they were supposed to, but payed with their lives at a young age. Terrible!

Eljay,

It is terrible that these things happen. There is no justification available for it. Rape is never justifiable. And murder, is excusable only in certain extreme circumstances- this isn't one of them.

I don't understand the violent hate people have for homosexuals. I know some people think it is a sin, BUT even if it is a sin (I am not agreeing with that, but just saying, even if I assumed for a moment they were right) there are many sins and we have all sinned. Even "saved" people are not perfect. And most of us are not saved. But you don't see as many people wanting to kill someone for cussing or for having premarital sex. I mean I know in some places they are rough on the women for that last one, but usually never the men. And in my country, although a lot of religious people do have an issue with premarital sex, it is very common to have sex before marriage and you don't see people rallying to kill the "sinners" for it. You don't see people saying so and so deserves to die because he is a compulsiver liar, either, even though that is considered a sin. People only seem interested in the sin of homosexuality. I don't actually think it's a sin, but am trying to approach it from their viewpoint.

Anyway, I want to know, if they want to kill them for being gay because they see it as such a sin, why don't they want to kill other sinners? What is so much worse about being gay? If they wanted to kill someone for a sin, why didn't they pick a sin that hurt other people or animals or the earth- something that did damage to someone besides the consenting sinners? Like people who abuse others? But no, they want to hurt someone who isn't hurting others and is minding their own business.

With that said, I think sometimes men might hate lesbians and rape them as you mentioned above, because of a sexist need to dominate women and a fear they won't be desired or needed or they won't have their pick of the females anymore (as if someone that sleazy would have their pick anyway). Something stupid like that. But how ignorant is it to think you can rape a woman and make her straight? Even if it were possible for someone to switch sexual orientation (and not just fake switch) or even if someone actually liked both genders (bisexual), why would raping them make them want your gender (or in the case of bisexuals, why would it make them prefer your gender and forget the other one)? Seriously, being raped by a man could be enough to turn a heterosexual woman away from wanting to sleep with men, so how is it going to make a homosexual woman want them? If anything it might make her want to hide her sexual orientation more or even fake it, but she'd still be gay- and it'd prob. make her prefer women even more if anything, because at least women aren't trying to rape her. And at least, when she's with a woman, maybe it wouldn't remind her as much of the attack as it would if she were with a man. It's just stupid. No one is going to prefer to have sex with your gender because someone of that gender raped them. They are going to be less likely than ever to want someone from that gender. I mean, seriously. The traumatic memories....for one. And then it really paints a bad picture of your gender in their minds, anyway. If men act with violence and hate often enough, that it becomes most of what a woman knows of men, why would she want ANYTHING to do with a man? I know some men are very loving and peaceful, but I am referring to places and situations where this is almost all a woman sees of men. It can lead to hatred of men and fear of men. Eljay, what is being done there to combat this?

Eljay, I am so sorry this happened. It's bad enough when it happens, but then when the trial happens, it's like everyone has to go through it again. But at least there is a trial.

Here in the U.S., I just found out about 9 women who have been killed or gone missing in a small North Carolina town (Rocky Mount) in just three years, and yet people are only now just hearing about it. The women were African American and may have been prostitutes, so their murders were not investigated the way they would have been had the victims been middle class and white. If it weren't for local women getting together and putting up a billboard, the cases would still be unknown outside that town.

There is so much injustice in the world. I don't know what the answer is. But thank you for this posting, because I think that not enough attention is paid to how the overall culture a person lives in can affect his or her emotional health. Everyone always talks about family or relationship problems, but, for me, the overall state of the world and the way people treat each other and other life forms is a significant burden in and of itself. Thank you again for this post.

I agree Eljay, there is still incredible injustice and prejudice in the world. Here in North America it has become a little better for homosexual people but there's still prejudice and lack od education about being gay. Where I live in Canada the government recognizes same sex marriages, so if one of them dies their assets will go to their partner not extended family.
I answer questions in the Q&A section of this website as Bellacutie and a poster asked about a month ago - she was having doubts if she was 100% lesbian and her friends and this guy they know, felt she should try being with him. He even went on to say that he could turn a gay woman straight LOL. I can't believe that there are still people on this planet who think that a gay person can be straightened out by having sex with the opposing gender or religous intervention. My brother who's deceased was gay, so it really makes me mad when I hear stupid things like that or violent stories like what happened in your country. It's a shame that people should be killed because of who they choose to love.
Thanks for educating us that gay people are still suffering so much in other parts of the world and even here sometimes.

Eljay,

Thank you for writing this post to us, indeed a message of unspeakable acts committed by one
human being on another. The question of "why?" comes to mind. Surely, all would agree with me, there is no reasonable or fathomable explanation for such.

Nothing in the world has the power to break our hearts as when we make the rational decision to embrace irrationality. To condone acts of torture is reprehensible at the very least, because the parts of our minds that respect and honor human existence is willingly set aside, be it publicly or by omission. As long as such patterns of violence, torture and stigmatization are allowed to exist in any form, the human race remains forever shackled to the dark ages of depravity and barbarianism.

Many of you have come to know me. I ask you, would you put me to death because I am a lesbian? Would you look the other way, while I’m repeatedly raped to “straighten” me out? Would you participate in the sadistic removal of my genitalia? Would you do this to me or others in the name of culture, religion, morality or public health? I think not.

Would you stand idly by, while your daughter was forced into a marriage not of her choosing? How would you feel toward your grandchildren, the result of forced pregnancy? How utterly conflicting that notion is to my matriarchal instincts! What about you?

Some 70 countries around the globe openly and passionately defend these acts. Contrary to what you would like to believe, these atrocities happen every day in this world we live in. In my own country, the United States of America, some states continue to socially and legally view same sex relations as a serious crime. In my own state, I cannot legally marry the woman who has faithfully been my spouse for 20 years. Can you imagine the scars I carry for being who I am?

I hope what I have said touches you deeply. I humbly thank you for reading. I present it as passionately as I take every breath I take. And thanks again to Eljay for bringing the truth to our attention.

notz

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Ghandi

Eljay, I am so sorry that has happened to you... I

I am so glad you brought this out to the forefront, its as if it is an omen to be a lesbian which most of us all know. To attach torture and murder to rape my insides want to write so bad but I even know I can't because these things don't happen to be in the United States! Well, I am living proof that I have had to serve many a men where torture was everyday life, eletricution, buried alive. No one wants to talk about that. Being raped over and over and over again to prove I was straight. T's don't deal with that in depth torturer, it's too much to face but ppl NEED to hear this,
Everyday we are pounded for being us. We don't have a girlfriend nor we ever will. We NEEd to be wanted and then we can sit up tall with head raised high but we have lost that too.
Ejay, again for such needed informatin that ppl need to hear.

ThaCrew

I just want you to know eljay that lesbians and gays are murder here in north america as well. Years ago an aquaintance of mine was found murdered and it was found out it was because he was gay. In another more recent well known case a gay man was beaten and murder here in the U.S. because he was gay. So I have to say it happens all over the world it's just that some spot of the world may be more openly homophobic.

There are so many things that I don't understand--the vicious hatred towards gays, animal cruelty, child molestors, rapists, etc. It happens everywhere, and it's overwhelming, all these things. All you can do is help those you're able to.

Good point Michele - you're right it still does happen all over the world including N. America.

I can certainly understand the outrage and the sorrow. But I also find it a relief to know that obviously, many people can see that it was a travesty, they do not feel the same way and they would never do such a thing to another human being.

Notz, thanks also for your post. A family member is gay and I've also known a number of people who are gay and face discrimination and stigma because of that. I look forward to the day we stop defining people by what they might do with their genitals and instead, look to what they are doing with their hearts.

~ Namaste

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Wow. The injustice and loss of innocent life makes me so sad.

I guess there will always be individuals with disturbed thinking that do such horrible things but what I really don't understand even more is when whole cultures are so cruel. In particular I am thinking of the custom to "circumcise" young women. I think of it as simply torture and misogyny.

Folks, it is not enough that there are some wonderful people out there who see gblt (or for that matter all discrimination) discrimination as a horror. That's because there are so many who see nothing wrong with verbal abusing at the very least a lesbian or gay. I know - I myself have been the target of such attacks.
So, yes I really do applaud those folks who stand up for our rights even though they themselves aren't a member of the gblt community but sadly I know that even though there ranks are many there aren't enough of them yet.

Another gay women was murdered in South Africa. I'm am disgusted, sad and feel very disturbed about this state of affairs. Most tribes in South Africa hate women who are lesbian. Why must they be so cruel and murder them? Are they just jealous that these women doesn't want to sleep with them? That too, but it has always been their terrible tradition. Disgusting how men abuse and murder women who can't protect themself...

So sorry to hear this happened again. I think your country and many others really need to come a long way before they start to understand and accept homosexuality. I agree their beliefs are deeply rooted in their traditions and their own ignorance.

You know what else really bothers me, is female mutilation or what they call 'female circumcision' - I hate that expression because it's not circumcision at all. I can't believe this is still being done in your country and other countries. I wonder if we would be allowed to talk about this problem - perhaps in a new thread since I don't want this topic to take away from your topic.

The only hope for gay women in your country is for the public to become educated and this would be difficult as I'm sure there would be alot of opposition/possible violence. Thanks for sharing.