husband wants wife to spank him

1Rodney · Sep 25, 2009 at 01:19 PM

I want my wife me to hold me accountable and give me more structure and discipline in my life by providing me a list of chores, rules, goals, and behaviors that need changed. These would be enforced by loss of privileges, groundings, and spankings.

I’m generally self motivated, and a good husband, but there are some areas I’d like to improve upon.

I’ve seen the lifestyle I want to try on the internet at The Disciplinary Wives Club (DWC).

My wife is concerned that somehow this goes back to the lack of discipline in my childhood, and if I do this that I’ll screw up my mind. I was spanked as a child until age 13 after which my parents ignored me and I did as I pleased.

Although I could see how she'd be concerned, I don't look at my wife as a parent. I see her as my best friend and coach.

Should we try it spanking and other discipline methods and see how it works or is that dangerous?

Maven · Sep 26, 2009 at 03:46 AM

I don't know the right answer for you, but I'd suggest talking with a sex therapist, and deciding if it's right for the both of you. I am not against spanking in relationships, but I don't believe in it in the context of domestic discipline. In other words, I'm okay with it as a fantasy, but living a lifestyle where one partner can punish the other and the other is submissive is, to me, a situation where the submissive partner lacks self-esteem and perhaps has other issues.

In any case, I think both of you should be comfortable with the decision you make, so you should make it together. You may find a sex therapist helpful in making this decision.

crystalrose · Sep 26, 2009 at 04:30 AM

i voted yes to spanking, but not in a context of punishment. Thats why i also voted no. Spanking can be arousing for some people during sex if spanked in the right way i guess. I think you should talk to your wife about this. If it is a fantasy issue then see a sex therapist counsellor not because its wrong or bad.just too get advice. Buy the way i never did understand why they call then sex therapists its not like they have sex with you.

lynn P. · 11:44 AM

I'm not going to even participate in this poll because I think it's irrelevent what the general public thinks in relation to what you and your wife do - I also think you enjoy this whole idea of the posters telling you what to do LOL - since you like being told what to do.

I agree with Maven and Crystal this kind of behavior should be decided between you and your wife. The sado masochistic behavior should be looked at as role playing that is used during sex and not used to influence your whole lifestyle - where she would be dominating you completely. If you're seeking to be dominated completely then I think you should see a counsellor. It's also very important that you never actually get hurt and that your wife is agreeable to participating in this way. The bottomline - if you both happily agree to use this as part of your sex life(where neither of you is hurt physically or emotionally) then it's fine but it shouldn't influence your whole life. Good luck.

Visioneer · 07:15 PM

There is absolutely nothing wrong with spanking.

However, the fact that you can not, as an adult, discipline yourself or hold yourself accountable for your actions, and must rely on your wife for the impetus to do what is right in every day life, may be a problem.

I guess saying "grow up" would be a bit harsh, but to give yourself license to behave in a childish way with the necessity of monitoring by another adult is not responsible, and your wife seems to be uncomfortable with the idea. When does she get to be 'babied' and cared for? Are you shirking your role as her partner by calling her your "coach"?

I urge you to rethink this course.

NuckingFutz · Sep 26, 2009 at 07:43 PM

Personally i like spankings. With a trusting partner, if they are both willing and agree to boundaries and a safe word. Also you can find websites on the right way to proceed.

crystalrose · Sep 26, 2009 at 09:28 PM

spanking is good as a part of a sex life. But outside of sex it is a bit unusual.

Maven · Sep 27, 2009 at 02:21 AM

Yes, there's a difference between spanking for sexual fantasy play and "domestic discipline." The latter is a lifestyle, wherein one partner punishes the other for "bad behavior," usually through spanking. IMO, it's unhealthy and demeaning. Spanking as a sexual game or way of arousing a partner is completely different.

CrystalRose, good point on the sex therapist title...but sexual surrogates often do have sex with their patients/clients.

jerrymichele · Sep 29, 2009 at 02:21 PM

I'm not sure what they call these people. It's a woman who puts chains on a guy, and makes him do whatever. She usually wears black sexy cloths. I think this is what he wants. Thats my opinion anyways.

lynn P. · Sep 29, 2009 at 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jerrymichele

I'm not sure what they call these people. It's a woman who puts chains on a guy, and makes him do whatever. She usually wears black sexy cloths. I think this is what he wants. Thats my opinion anyways.

Yes Jerry - that would be a DOMINATRIX and that is what he wants. If his wife doesn't mind playng that role then that's fine. But I think he might be looking for this to be a way of life. Meaning if she doesn't like something he did, then she would discipline him accordingly.

I wish since he's the one who made this poll then he should participate in this conversation. Maybe if we order him then he would speak up SO - " HEY RODNEY, GET THOSE FINGERS TYPING RIGHT NOW OR PUT YOURSELF IN THE NAUGHTY CORNER LOL"

AAAAA · Sep 29, 2009 at 04:09 PM

You may not admit to seeing your wife as a parent figure, but you're making her responsible for correcting your own behavior. You're an adult, make these changes on your own.

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husband wants wife to spank him

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NuckingFutz Pet Lady of Psychcentral Member Since Sep 2005 Location: Las Vegas, NV Posts: 4,564 19 71 hugs given	Sep 26, 2009 at 07:43 PM #6 Personally i like spankings. With a trusting partner, if they are both willing and agree to boundaries and a safe word. Also you can find websites on the right way to proceed.

crystalrose Poohbah Member Since Apr 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 1,421 15	Sep 26, 2009 at 09:28 PM #7 spanking is good as a part of a sex life. But outside of sex it is a bit unusual.

jerrymichele Poohbah Member Since Apr 2009 Location: Louisiana Posts: 1,177 15	Sep 29, 2009 at 02:21 PM #9 I'm not sure what they call these people. It's a woman who puts chains on a guy, and makes him do whatever. She usually wears black sexy cloths. I think this is what he wants. Thats my opinion anyways. __________________ Live in the moment. Right now is the only thing we really have.

AAAAA Elder Member Since Oct 2007 Location: Midwest Posts: 5,042 17 1 hugs given	Sep 29, 2009 at 04:09 PM #11 You may not admit to seeing your wife as a parent figure, but you're making her responsible for correcting your own behavior. You're an adult, make these changes on your own. __________________ I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.