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Member Since Dec 2009
Posts: 1
14 |
#1
Okay so last night i was at my current bed buddies house. He lives with his best friend. So i go over there and he told me we were having sex on the couch, so i was like okay is he gonna leave (talking about his friend) and he said yeah so his friend walked out of the room and came back in later and made me suck him. I had been drinking...alot. And i feel bad about it because i feel like it was wrong and they took advantage of me but then again i think i wouldnt mind doing it again i just dont wanna feel like a hoe. I have mixed emotions about the situation. He said it wouldnt happen again and if i go see him again it MIGHT happen again. But i dont want them to think im a hoe or somethin. But i didnt ask for it. They literally made me do everything i did. I wouldve walked out if i had been sober. I was wasted. But any advice?
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Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2009
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,177
15 |
#2
Stop drinking.
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Yoda
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,269
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#3
Sounds like they've been watching too many porno videos. I don't believe in threesomes. You're also contradicting a little, you say you're were wasted and they basically forced you - but you say you would do it again. I think this kind of set up, 2 guys to 1 lady could get out of control.
__________________ This is our little cutie Bella *Practice on-line safety. *Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts. *Make your mess, your message. *"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi) |
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Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,421
15 |
#4
sorry it felt out of control, it sounds like a set up to me.
Iv been there before, and threesomes just arent worth it in my opinion. Its good to experiment but set rules first so it feels safe for everyone, make sure birth control and condoms, dams are used so noone is at risk of an sti or unwanted pregnancy, my other advice is dont involve alchohol or drugs that trick you mind and make less control. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2009
Location: CA
Posts: 1,415
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#5
Yeah stop the drinking sounds like something that needs to happen.
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Junior Member
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: chicago
Posts: 14
14 |
#6
Stop Feling sorry, And don't do it if you dont whant to, but it sounds lke you whant to go back for more
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Member
Member Since Feb 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 229
15 |
#7
Sounds like you felt pressured to do it and you feel like you would like to do it again but on your own terms.
Just be careful and safe __________________ Princess Butterfly |
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Pet Lady of Psychcentral
Member Since Sep 2005
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 4,564
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#8
Please stop the drinking. I also would not trust these guys.
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lynn P.
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Member
Member Since Mar 2006
Posts: 32
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#9
I think you already know right from wrong, you are just not applying that knowledge. I think you are not applying that knowledge because you don't think you are worth more than this rubbish. If you felt worthy of real love, of respect, you would never have even met these guys, let alone have had a threesome. You would have seen them on the street and just by a glance known that they were rubbish and walked right by them.
Forget your behaviour, its just the symptom. Its the thing that should wake you up and make you want to change. What you really need to work on and think about is who are you and what you believe about yourself and the world. If you believe that you are worthy, that you are respectable, people like these guys will not even see you on the street, you will be invisible to them. Your thoughts and beliefs attract people to you. If you believe you are crap and a hoe as you said, then you are going to attract crap and pimps. Start believing that you are a decent, respectable, moral, etc, woman, and you will get treated that way. As for having urges...we all have them, the only difference is that you have to hold sight of what is important to you. I was propositioned last week, the urges were there, but I didn't know him and I certainly wasn't in love with him. My answer was no, because I know I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror and not feel that I let my beliefs of who I am be destroyed. Good luck. |
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lynn P., Princess Butterfly
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Member Since Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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#10
Quote:
Hmmm...advice....STOP DRINKING AROUND THESE PEOPLE!!! In my opinion, it would not necessarily be wrong IF it was done with everyone's consent...BUT, you stated here that you feel like they took advantage of you. And it sounds like they did. You also stated that if you would have been sober, this probably wouldn't have happened. So...they took advantage of you, however you placed yourself in a position to be taken advantage of. Not saying you deserved that, because you DIDN'T...no one does. But it's hard to keep yourself safe if you are under the influence of mind altering substances. Also...you say that you wouldn't mind doing it again, and that you just don't want to feel like a ho...? That's like saying....I want to kill someone again...I just don't want to feel like a killer. It makes no sense. If you don't want to feel like one...don't put yourself in a position to be treated like one. It's NOT your fault that they took advantage of you...but your actions have consequences....and they're not always nice ones. __________________ |
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Member
Member Since Nov 2009
Posts: 377
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#11
Okay, so I'm going to share with you something that only one person (aside from those involved) know about. TRIGGER WARNING!!!!
I was going out with a guy who has a very high-libido. I have problems with intimacy, so we hadn't had sex. Me, him, and my best friend went out to drink and basically get f***ed up. I was trashed; I had taken at least two dozen painkillers, had half a bottle of booze, and even a little weed. I don't remember what happened, but apparently I engaged in a threesome with my ex and my best friend. I KNOW that they took advantage of me. I broke up with my ex about a week later, mostly because of sexual issues between us. My best friend and I didn't talk for at least 6 months. Another brief story: The two times that I've been r*ped were committed by the same guy (although I know that's rare). He was a friend of a friend, and I made the mistake of getting wasted around him, when nobody really gave a s*** about who did what to who or if it was consensual. That was my fault. I had a drinking problem; it was bad enough that I got drunk around him, even though he'd already r*ped me once. You need to QUIT DRINKING, at least around these guys. And, I'm sorry if it's not my place, but I wouldn't hang around either of those guys anymore. If your guy friend didn't stick up for you...that's just messed up. __________________ "When the people of the world all know beauty as beauty, There arises the recognition of ugliness. When they know the good as the good, There arises the perception of evil. Therefore Being and non-Being produce each other." "Suffering produces perserverance; perserverance, character; and character, hope." |
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Pet Lady of Psychcentral
Member Since Sep 2005
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 4,564
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#12
A best friend would not take advantage of you like that. I hope you can get some self-esteem lessons. No one deserves to be treated like that.
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 214
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#13
stop drinking around these people. i have a little story of my own my fiance was with her ex and some friends and they were all taking pills and smoking weed and drinking and in the end the final result was that she slept with her ex and now she is pregnant and she doesnt know whose baby it is. in finish do not drink around people you cannot trust
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New Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: San Antonio Texas
Posts: 5
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#14
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New Member
Member Since Apr 2010
Location: South Africa
Posts: 4
14 |
#15
sounds like you enjoyed it, but not happy with the fact that you never initiated the idea, which left you somewhat vulnerable. I have to agree with everyone who says if you enjoyed it and want to do it again just make sure you stay safe and do it on your own terms girl.
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