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I have been openly gay for almost 10 years now and over the last year I have found myself questioning my sexuality. I have a bf that I have been with a year and a half and we rarely have sex anymore. He wants to all the time and I never want to. When we do have sex I just don't even want to participate. Almost every day I think about what it would be like to be with a woman and want to try it because I never have. I have always had strong relationships with women and just all around get along with them better than men. I always have trust issues with men and lately I have been wondering if the only reason I turned to men was to find the love and acceptance from a man that I never had growing up. All the men in my life (father,grandfather,etc..) never cared about me. I grew up with just my mom and sisters. I don't feel like I have anyone I can talk to because everyone knows I'm gay and I just think they wouldn't understand. How do I even begin to tell my bf how I am feeling? If do decide to date girls everyone in town knows I'm gay, so what am I supposed to do? I really want kids and I don't know if all this is just my biological clock ticking louder since I turned 30 or what. I have never felt so confused in my life, I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore. When I did date girls before I "figured out I was gay" they never took me seriously and I always got the "you'll make someone such a good husband some day" but just not me. I really thought there was something wrong with me then I decided I was gay and guys always said I hot and I never had any problems getting dates. It really took a while for my self esteem to grow and for years everything was fine but now I feel like I am back at square one and I just don't know what to do!!
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Apr 03, 2010, 11:19 AM
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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