[Gr3tta]

So, I am not the sort of person to go around having a little gay parade for myself, but I also do not lie about who I am.
I am starting a new job soon, and I am always of two minds about when to come out at work. It invariably comes up during the time when I'm getting to know people. If someone asks if I have a boyfriend, I can either say "no" (the truth) or "no, I have a girlfriend" (the more complete truth) I am never sure whether it is sure to just let it be known right away, or to let people get to know me, and (hopefully!) like me, before I come out.
Does anyone have an opinion? Thanks!

[northernbird]

I hate starting new jobs because of this very issue.

Having had to come out at 5 different jobs over the years I now just get it over and done with from the get-go. I've never really been one for flaunting it but, much like you, I won't lie about it.

I think people respect the fact more if you're honest about it and it will avoid a hell of a lot of awkwardness if there's the chance of dinners/nights out etc with work colleagues.

Thats my take on it all, though I do appreciate that depending on where you go to work that it could be a judgment call on the day rather than in advance!

[justjoanie]

Personally, I would go with your complete boyfriend answer.... "no, I have a girlfriend". That is a polite way to put it, and you're not out there flaunting it around, you're just answering a question.
I came out at work in a similar way. And my co-workers were fine with it. Got a couple funny looks, but other than that, everything was fine.
I, like you, don't have little gay parades for myself. I'm not one to be all out there in peoples faces about anything, much less my lifestyle. But it is good for people to know. Like Northernbird said, there could be dinners or family times at work, and you want to be able to bring your partner with you.
Keep us informed on how it goes, I'll check back in on you.
Joanie

[Nemo39122]

Though I don't have any experience with this personally, I have a friend who is gay that seems to handle this topic very well. Similar to your "no, I have a girlfriend" answer, she just brings up her girlfriend or the fact that she's gay as if the person she's talking to already knows. It seems like that way works.

Personally I would answer differently depending on the person. With some people you might have to use the just "no" answer. If you think the person would be ok with it and not be like I would be more straightforward about it. Good luck with whatever you choose, and let us know how things turn out

[MandiePoo]

For me I think I would say something like this:

"so, do you have a boyfriend right now?"

"Actually, no. I'm gay, so I don't really date boys unless they happen to be ridiculously rich/some other silly thing" and then giggle or wink.

this adds a little humor to the situation, so that it breaks the ice and gives something else to focus on rather than the awkwardness of being outed.

[michele#3]

I agree with JustJoanie's post. My only comment would be to judge situation before coming out. If they ask about a boyfriend just say no. If you want to say more figure out if it would be o.k. to do that with that person.

[Okami]

I, personally, have a hard time coming out at work places... While I understand it isn't good to hide who you are and so on at the same time, people are so judgmental that in some cases where I live it could honestly mean my job...

I understand some communities are more open-minded than others, but I hate to tell people to be truthful at their workplace when it very well might bite them in the ***. Its the sad truth. They don't have a right but in a lot of places that just doesn't stop people. ><;;

I would say - depending on how well you know them... Judge whether it would be a good idea for you too. Will it make the work environment unbearable to be in?
Its stressful sometimes. D:

[splitz]

Hi,
I always try and let people get to know me first.
Like you I don't lie and I'm not ashamed of who I am.
What I have done in the past is use the words 'partner' 'they' 'we' etc without actually mentioning gender, once people get to know me a bit I don't make an issue of saying 'I'm gay' (after all straight people don't wander around saying 'I'm straight') but I do start refering to my partner as 'she', if someone asks me outright I'll be honest.
what sort or area are you going to work in? how many people will you be working with?
Good luck and let us know how you get on.
Splitz

[deliquesce]

i have been out at a few of my previous workplaces, but i keep quiet at my current one because i know my boss would be very uncomfortable about it and i don't want to embarrass her/make her feel awkward (she's staunchly religious/conservative).

i tend to judge whether it feels right before coming out (this is less of an issue these days because i'm no longer with a gf, and i also date guys). most places i've worked at it has never been an issue (i.e., whether i have a partner or not is never brought up) but - LOL - at the first place i came out my team actually did throw me a gay parade (coming out dinner). it was very cute and made me feel so good .