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#1
Mar 14, 2011, 12:23 AM
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Okay, so from high school to start of college I only had thoughts of sex with a female and such. Then for a while I had thoughts of girls and guys. Then it was just girls, and now guys and girls again. Why is that? The sight of a male private's part disgusts me and the thought of sex too. But a shirtless guy would start turning me on. And then it would not be there. Why is this? How can I control myself and my thoughts? Thanks. And I know most are going to say to not fight it, but I know in the 70s there were ways of controlling these things. And I am one of those believers. And I have a girlfriend too and I happily want to get married to her. So yup.
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#2
Mar 14, 2011, 09:21 PM
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Well then I would say its just like controlling thoughts of other women while being monogamous to her. (although this is me assuming you're not in an open relationship
 if that's the case then my bad ^^; I'm a hetero woman and I think men are definitely sexier with the dangly bits hidden and torsos bare. I've also found myself aroused by the sight of women in lingerie even though I don't consider the idea of having sex with one appealing, so I don't think its unusual to feel this way. I'd advise just to try to ignore it. Or check out some guys' chests and then get busy with the girlfriend.
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 Martin^^
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#3
Mar 15, 2011, 07:12 PM
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But how do I control these thoughts? I don't even know to stop from masturbating or getting aroused except for a cold shower and I am not going to take a cold shower everytime I get an urge. And yeah I am open with this girl and I have confessed to her I have these thoughts.
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#4
Mar 15, 2011, 09:20 PM
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Honestly I don't know if there is a way to control arousal... Hm. The best I can say is force yourself to concentrate on something that isn't arousing, like pencils or something. lol
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#5
Mar 17, 2011, 05:34 PM
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I was a teen in the 70s and don't recall any methods of control of 'these things'.
Maybe you are thinking of the 50s, when they wired gay men to electric shock machines and zapped them while showing them pics of naked men. I wish you luck with that. ( It didn't work.) You can still be happily married and have fantasies of many sorts, just don't act on them if you consider them immoral. |
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#6
Mar 19, 2011, 06:58 PM
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There is no way of controlling 'these things'. In actual fact, I have always found it better to 'fight fire with fire' so to speak. If you try to deny your desires or fantasies, it makes them more potent. If you spend some time alone thinking about it (not in a cold shower). There's no need to be ashamed at all. Having fantasies about other people does not equate to cheating, and it doesn't matter whether those are men or women. : )
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What if you slept? And what if in your sleep you dreamed?
And what if in your dreams you went to heaven and there you plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if when you awoke you had the flower in your hand? Ah! What then? Samuel Taylor Coleridge |
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