Sexual confusion

So...yea..... well, im 15 and a guy.
Ive always liked girls, and still do alot.
Ive done some "experimenting" sort of things, no penetration or oral or anything, with a guy, I dont have any "love" feelings for men, or do i find them attractive when I see them, never happened atleast.
so yea, idk what i am anymore. am i bi? or straight?
and also I am attracted to alot of ages, from like lets say 10-12 to 30-40, its really confusing and all, Im kind of obsessed with sex and losing my virginity, but im probably never gonna lose it since im hideous(IMO).
Its just strange to be attracted to girls much younger, but especially to older woman, way to old for me. so yea..........im messed up

I started experimenting early (I am 45 now) and how I wished I had waited until I was more sure of who I am - do you have a T?

Hi Jare,
It is not unusual for a guy your age to look around and wonder. The looking at younger girls is because you are looking at them differently now than when you were at that age. Many times at that age a boy can either get a crush or be totally turned off by girls. Usually girls that age get these little crushes on boys and the boys feel uncomfortable. So right now you are looking at them in a different light.

And it is also not unusual be attracted to older women as well. When my daughter was your age and a year or two older the boys had a nick name for me. Well I finally found out what that meant, here at PC. It was the last thing I would have expected. I suppose it was a compliment but I guess looking back I was so unaware. And they all called me the same name so I thought I was considered a weirdo or something and that it was a hip name for moms. I just went over my head Jare.

And as far as other guys, remember that suit I told you about, much of that has to do with comparing and seeing what some of the girls might be attracted to. You are at the awkward stage remember, your real potential wont be revealed until your around 18. And even then you will grow some more. And I will remind you that girls can openly show affection while guys really cant and they kind of struggle with that.

It sounds to me like your right on track Jarebear. Also there is a lot of openness where you are and things are more out in the open and accepted. It doen't mean you have to go along with what others do.

I hope that you are still coming to the states this fall. It will be interesting to see what you think about the difference. Ofcourse you will still be around others in that raging hormone approaching stage. And there is a new awareness that you are just discovering, normal. And your opinion about you being hideious, that is normal too as your body is changing and you are going through that just plain awkward stage.

You will be ok.

Open Eyes

I agree with Open Eyes - so much of this stuff is normal for our age group. I wouldn't worry about it too much. You say you've experimented but haven't actually had sex. As long as you're not acting on the urges that could put you in danger (unprotected sex) or get you into trouble (sex with a younger person), then I personally don't see anything wrong with what you're doing. If masturbation is involved, that's fine too. Nothing wrong with learning about what pleases us and what doesn't.

Oh, by the way, I'm a 17 year old girl. Not some creepy old man sitting in his basement giving you advice on how to self-stimulate LOL. That would be weird.

Only you can prevent neurotypical jerkiness!

LOL Indie... Jare i think a lot of what you are talking about is pretty normal too. Your 15 now and have a long time before you need to worry about losing your virginity, i was young when i lost mine and regretted it everyday since... its something precious and there is a lot of responsibility involved in losing your virginity..hope you think about it a little longer. That said .. i also agree with Indie as far as the masturbation goes, i think personally its a great idea for us to be very familiar with our own bodies, definitely will help in future relationships if you can tell your partner what you like.... Umm btw im an old creepy lady , but have raised 3 sons and told them the same thing.

Thanks for your answers, also might add that all the experimenting is just masturbating, not kissing or touching or anything like that.

Hi Jare, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Personally, I feel that if you're not physically attracted to guys and don't have any romantic feelings towards them, then you're not actually gay or bi. I suppose you'd be what they call "bicurious." When I was at university people were still unsure and experimenting in their late teens early twenties. For example, there were the LUGs. Lesbians until Graduation. I don't know what the lads called themselves, but it was fairly common. At your age I wouldn't be too keen to stick a label on myself anyway... labels can stick, and you've got a lot of growing and changing to do.

I've changed an awful lot in my life, from the girl who was secretly in love with my best (girl) friend, and used to lie in bed at night dreaming I was a boy, and could show her how she should really be treated... I'd fantasise about how she should be kissed, and what kind of flowers I'd buy her to put in her hair. Since then I've thought I was a hundred percent lesbian, then bi, then a hundred percent straight, and right now I have no sexual desire. It doesn't matter. Just whatever you do, don't stick a label on it, and do be safe. Regarding virginity... it's a precious thing. I hope that you are able to exchange it with someone you love.