[ColourBars]

Good thing the forums are anonymous! Just saying.

Anyway, does any other girl out there have trouble getting aroused sexually? And those rare moments when you do get into the "moment", does it usually drain away when you think, "Ah! I have it now! I better focus on keeping it or else my partner will be disappointed-" or something related.

I don't know why I can't get aroused sexually. I'm thinking maybe it's because of how pornography is kinda in a sense "teaching us" to have unrealistic sexual expectations from our partners and stuff, and usually I feel pressured into thinking, "am I doing it right? Is he enjoying it?" more than anything else. Also with the whole "perfect, attractive female body" floating around. He says that he's happy the way I am but.... ehh?

I think a physical cause for a lost in sex drive could be anemia. I have a blood disorder called Thalassemia, that which kinda acts like perma-anemia. [Thalassemia is a blood disorder passed down through families (inherited) in which the body makes an abnormal form of hemoglobin, the protein in red blood cells that carries oxygen. The disorder results in excessive destruction of red blood cells, which leads to anemia.]

I don't take any medication so it can't be that. For psychological causes... I dunno, I'm depressed, but I've been depressed for a friggan long time, like over a year. Surely, that would have been old news by now and my body would adjust or something.

I am feeling a lot more stress and anxiety now a days. Childhood, I was hit around a lot, sexually humiliated - but, I feel completely at ease/over/not bothered by it, now. Like, I overcame that.... a long while ago. Once again, surely, that would have been old news by now and my brain would adjust or something.

Eh. Anyway, does any other girl out there have trouble getting aroused sexually?

[chipperdear]

Sometimes I have trouble recognizing that I'm aroused. I can't feel my heart rate increase or anything, no "tingly sensation" I've heard people talk about. I find it pretty annoying, and when it happens, I'll focus on everything I feel to try to identify something different and recognizable so I can know I'm aroused, but it distracts me. Feels like a catch-22.

[ColourBars]

A catch 22, hmm that's totally it.

[chipperdear]

I definitely know where you're coming from with the whole "am I doing it right? Does he like it" stuff too. You (general you, not you specifically) get so used to seeing perfection in porn and the media that any little deviation makes you wonder if you're not good enough or "what if he doesn't like the way I look". Its funny though because I know that I don't expect that out of my partners, but I expect them to expect it from me.

[ColourBars]

I wonder how people break out of that cycle?