[Jiles]

Hi,

I am 26 years of age and am very happily married to my wife, whom I have been married to for 6 months. We are both extremely happy together, however, around 6 weeks ago I felt extremely depressed and told her about my bisexual past. When I was single around 19 to 22 years old I experimented with other men, and slept with four men. At the time I didn't think it was a big deal, however, now I hate myself and feel sick everytime I think of it. I have cried on and off for 6 weeks now.

I have spoken to my wife and she has been extremely supportive and has told me to forget about it. However, every time i try and just feel that I can't and that I am 'damaged goods' and that she deserves better than me.

I know at the time I was extremely desperate and that I am 100% straight, however, I can't forgive myself for what I did. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

Jiles

hi, Jiles. you sound like you are a perfectly normal guy. i think you should consider seeing a therapist to help with guilt issues.

also, i do not agree with labeling yourself as "damaged goods." you are 100% straight as you have no sexual attraction to men. you experimented and learned it's not for you - confirming you are heterosexual. you have no intention of repeating your youthful curiosity. and, you now have a wife who you love very much and who loves very much. please stay in the present. what is past has passed. your marriage gives you a very very healthy and happy sexual present. please stay in the present and let the past lie.

i wish you all the best.

[Aslan]

oh happy day
edwin hawkins
hope it makes you feel better

[Jiles]

Thank you for your comments. I know I need to forget the past as it is not a part of my life anymore. I just find it hard to live with the fact I did those things. I have booked an appointment with my doctor so they can refer me to a therapist to get over the guilt. Thank you once again.

[hanners]

Sexual behaviour doesn't neccesarily reflect sexual orientation. Even straight guys in prison have sex with other men, because there's no one else available. Besides, there is nothing to be ashamed about having sex with other men, no matter what others may say.

[JLarissaDragon]

I am so glad that you are going to get help. Often guilt feelings are hard to process even though there is little or nothing we can do to change our past. We just get to affect the present and plan for the future. Since your wife is supportive you have a great thing going for you. She is a gem that you should treasure. I wish you all of the best. It sounds like others have forgiven you, now forgiving yourself is the hard part. My prayers are with you

[likewater]

((((Jiles))) i'm sorry you feel so badly. I don't understand why you feel so much guilt , but definitely recommend therapy. Glad you are getting help, and it sounds like your wife loves you very much.

[jazzy123456]

Originally Posted by unhappyguy

hi, Jiles. you sound like you are a perfectly normal guy. i think you should consider seeing a therapist to help with guilt issues.

also, i do not agree with labeling yourself as "damaged goods." you are 100% straight as you have no sexual attraction to men. you experimented and learned it's not for you - confirming you are heterosexual. you have no intention of repeating your youthful curiosity. and, you now have a wife who you love very much and who loves very much. please stay in the present. what is past has passed. your marriage gives you a very very healthy and happy sexual present. please stay in the present and let the past lie.

i wish you all the best.

That is absolutley the best advice I have heard in a long time.

It is okay to grieve ... but, at the end of the reflection, we can mourn our losses or celebrate what we've gained... either way... we can do both.. we just have to make a choice. and it seems you have a wonderful, forgiving wife and new, healthy relationship to look forward too...