Hello Again,

So I came to PC because of my sexuality issues reaching a new peak in frustration and drive. I am as much of a virgin as you could expect, no dates, no kissing, no sex...but I do masturbate. The last few months in my cycle, there are a few days where I become intensely and frustratingly horny and with no way in my mind to aid it, I become depressed.

I am starting to think pleasing myself isn't enough to satiate this new intensity. But something else I have noticed is on my own I can become very sexual and have an almost hyper-libido but if I was to move into socializing with a guy it just seems to vanish, probably due to anxiety. It seems like a catch-22 to me but I need to do something or else this depression is only going to sink me deeper...HELP!

[Pandoren]

Well, I guess the obvious suggestion is to get help with anxiety, self-esteem etc!

My first thought is- when you talk to these guys, are you sexually attracted but your libido sort of goes and hides, or are you really not sexually attracted to guys at all?

Well, I have never seen a guy who I immediately want to jump or anything like that, so the attraction thing I guess has always been at a ultimate low...ugh, so confusing.

[Pandoren]

I just wondered if the reason, or part of the reason, is that you aren't attracted enough to men to trigger a rise in your libido in their presence. How anxiety would affect how you feel when faced with a situation like that I couldn't say. Regardless of the complexity of your sexuality, it probably wouldn't be a bad thing to investigate the anxiety etc... even if you work out how you feel, that's still a hurdle to get over.

[normf12]

Originally Posted by Rhylee

Hello Again,

So I came to PC because of my sexuality issues reaching a new peak in frustration and drive. I am as much of a virgin as you could expect, no dates, no kissing, no sex...but I do masturbate. The last few months in my cycle, there are a few days where I become intensely and frustratingly horny and with no way in my mind to aid it, I become depressed.

I am starting to think pleasing myself isn't enough to satiate this new intensity. But something else I have noticed is on my own I can become very sexual and have an almost hyper-libido but if I was to move into socializing with a guy it just seems to vanish, probably due to anxiety. It seems like a catch-22 to me but I need to do something or else this depression is only going to sink me deeper...HELP!

Hello,
Hmmm,...one has to immediately jump into more of the sexual details. So, have you ever considered pleasing a man by giving him a hand release, it would please him and please you to have pleased him. This would boost your self confidence(self-esteem), and you may quickly move along to other things another time, with the same guy or another. Pick any guy you like, even a little bit, and tease him about your desire and action to "do this to one lucky guy" and he will volunteer (he won't refuse, we all know that). So what do you think? I am too far away, so I cannot be that lucky guy! darn!
Get back,
Norm

That is definitely a different tact and seems more possible...wonder if I would have the guts to actually do it, to come on to a guy like that. Definitely going to store that one away to use when convenient, lol.

[Kant]

.......along that same line of thinking you could suggest helping each other a solve an 'adult' problem. Leading to mutual masturbation of each other; or just doing it your self in front of each other. See how that makes you feel. Anyway you go about it thought stuff like this is going to take some self confidence. And there is always risk with this type of endeavor, but if you are as frustrated and hyper sexual as I think you are the risk would be worth the reward.

Sex is meant to be fun, people in my opinion take sex too seriously. I am sure that is incorrect on so many levels and a lot of people will consider it 'wrong.'

Take my advice for what it is, thoughts from some one who has been in a similar situation.