Typical behaviour for child?

Please can people give me some idea whether this is typical behaviour for a child of the specified age. Thanks.

A ten or eleven year old kissing a child of four on the lips in a prolonged way when adults leave the room. They are of the opposite sex.

An eight or nine year old using a child of two for masturbation when the younger child is asleep. They are the same sex.

An eight year old knowing how to reach orgasm.

I'd really appreciate thoughts on this because what I've read about ages and sexualised behaviour seems unclear.

Hi Dreamy01, I'm not sure about the first two, but I began reaching orgasm at the age of 4. I can assure you that it isn't odd at all for a young child to be able to orgasm. Although at that age, I didn't know what was causing the good feeling, I just knew that it felt AWESOME.

Hi Melissa, thanks for the quick reply! I had no idea it was possible to reach orgasm so early. Sounds like it's quite a typical experience for kids then! I'd be interested in any thoughts on the first two if people have them, thanks.

I've heard a lot of people saying they were children when they started to stimulate themselves, so that's not unusual at all.

As for the first two, they should definitely not be encouraged (especially the second!). Where the first is concerned, I accept that some families are more kissy than others and some children more affectionate than others, so perhaps the child is going a bit overboard and understands kissing behaviour as being more acceptable than others see it, or the child sees a lot of prolonged kissing in people around them and is copying, or the child does understand but is pushing their luck. As for the second, I think a child of that age should know better but I can imagine that, especially if the older child is female, this could be a rather turbulent time hormonally (periods can start as early as eight or nine).

I reckon that at that age a child can start to experience more adult attractions, sensations or urges but doesn't know how to express them or knows that expression is considered unsuitable, therefore their only outlet might be to perform those tasks with someone unable to judge and comment on them, or who are easily dominated- such as younger/smaller children or an animal.

I think your gut is telling you something is wrong. I am very concerned that the children in question are experiencing some kind of abuse. Please take any action that you can.

Also, maybe add a trigger warning to this thread? I know that I personally found the descriptions upsetting.

Best,
EJ

No, those first two behaviors are NEVER appropriate. These behaviors raise red flags for history of abuse.

This may sound harsh, but they are sexually assaulting the younger children. These children (the older one/s) should not be left alone with younger children. I don't know your relationship to the children, but you need to get help for all of these children. You should call child protective services for help. If you are the parent, and you allow this behavior to continue then you are responsible. If you are not the parent, then you need to get help for these children also by calling CPS. (If you are in the US- I'm sure other countries have similar systems). Don't let this behavior continue, you can't change what has already happened, but you can keep it from continuing. These type of behaviors don't stop on their own, they just progress to worse behaviors.

I do agree, the first two are not okay at all. I don't know your relation to the children at question, but if you are in a position to do something about it, you need to.

As for the third, that is okay to me...but I am concerned if that child is in the same group or relation as the children in the first two, if that makes sense. I would be concerned for sexual abuse, if that's the case. If the child simply knows how to masturbate, I don't see that as a problem. That's not unusual to figure out that touching "down there" is pleasurable. If he seems more knowledgeable than someone who would just accidentally stumble upon this would be...then I may be concerned.

Eliza Jane - I'm so sorry about the lack of trigger warning - I didn't think to put one but of course it should have had one. I'm sorry about that. I'm not sure if I can edit title now but will see what I can do.

Thanks to all who replied and your comments. Please be assured that no children are in any danger whatsoever and I should have explained this initially. These examples are from the past - my past - and I'm simply trying to understand why they took place. It seems there was a lot of sexual acting out but I wasn't sure if it was typical behaviour for children of that age.

Thanks again and sorry for any distress caused.

Ah someone has added a trigger. Thanks.

From my experiences, those first two things are dangerous for those children. Super dangerous. My husband and his family (8 kids, left unsupervised waaaay too often) experimented together like this and now as they have grown, their issues are all over the board, from sex addictions to lack of sex drives to prostitution to schizophrenia to drug abuse. Every single one of them say they were changed for the worst through their experimentation together as children. I think it's more common than most of us realize, but that doesn't make it a less impacting and traumatic experience.