I want guilt-free sex with my husband...

So, my husband and I have known each other for 7 years, and were married in 2010. We are madly in love and are very close friends as well. When we do have sex, it is very stimulating and satisfying for both of us...
but,
my husband has some ingrained negative associations with sex that are starting to put a strain on our sex life, and are really starting to make me feel like a Bad Woman, further strengthening my since-childhood beliefs that I am a person that is intrinsically bad for other people, especially the people that I love.
For one: my husband has an ingrained belief in a "2 Day Rule": that 2 days after sex (or any ejaculation) his energy and flow are "off". He sees evidence of this rule in everything from missing the bus, to forgetting to pay a bill, to getting snappy at me for no reason. This is a belief he has held since before we met and no scientific arguments will convince him otherwise.
For two: my husband has a problem with tobacco addiction, specifically tobacco and cannabis together. It is an addiction he has accepted and is working to overcome...but when I see him smoking Mollies after we make love and ask why, he says, "oh, I can't quit after we have sex"
I posted a similar inquiry on the relationship forum before I realized this forum was here, and more appropriate for my issues, and tonight I actually tried to get him to talk to me about it. I explained that all these expressions of the negative consequences of sex with me are starting to take a toll on my confidence as a wife. Recently I have transitioned off of the libido-crushing Paxil antidepressant and my sex drive is thru the roof! I feel so excited to explore this drive; at a level I can't remember feeling since high school, with my husband, and intellectually I feel that that is perfectly okay, healthy, and what most husbands would kill for! But...my husband's coldness and sexual regret has me second guessing that. When I shared these feelings with him tonight, He refused to even respond, said he was tired, needed sleep and didn't want to "start this conversation now". I want to be patient and understanding...but I'm starting to feel like his sexual shame is a brick wall that I have no resources to break through...
I want to include that my husband was raised fundamentalist Christian with his mom, 4 sisters, and an alcoholic, traveling preacher turned absentee father. My last post somehow earned an "anti-Christian rant" tag from me sharing this info. I am not anti-Christian by any means! But believe that my husband's shame and regret could very well stem from the abstinence-only, anti-sex Ed attitude of his parents? I love him. I want to work through this...but how can I when he won't let me in? Any insights or advice are welcome please

There are definitely some issues there that merit discussion but I'm not sure what your question is. You just looking for general commentary?

You should rent the 1950s movie "Dr. Strangelove" or "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb" it's a dark cold war comedy. The reason I suggest this is one of the characters has feelings about his "precious bodily fluids" as you husband, though the guy in the movie takes it to more extreme. Just thinking if your husband saw his feelings depicted in such a humorous way he might rethink them. I wouldn't ever tell him why you are suggesting this movie, it is VERY funny so lots of other reasons to watch it.

I luv Dr. strangelove!
& as for concrete questions...I'm just asking for advice based on similar experience I guess...too vague?
Am I right to be unhappy with this situation?
If its all TMI or not worth responding to, forget it

You're unhappy with the situation... I'm not sure what difference it makes if it seems appropriate to anyone else. I'd be unhappy if I was married and my wife had some strange schedule for sex. I must have missed the relevance of the smoking.
If he really believes this 2 day recovery thing and won't listen to you then he probably isn't going to listen to a marriage counselor or therapist but it's worth a suggestion.
I don't think there are many posts here that are considered unworthy or too much information
I'm sorry if you got an anti-christian tag here for your other post but you shouldn't let that inhibit you. Good luck with working this out.

I didn't get this the first time I read your post but you're saying that he won't have sex more often because he is jinxed or something for 2 days following each time he cums?

Hell, if that was true I'd have nothing but bad luck! Actually, it goes against the usual understanding that you get an endorphin rush and are happier after sex. Try pointing out every good thing that happens in the 2 days following. if you know something nice is going to happen (maybe you know you will be getting a tax refund this year?) have sex the day before and then when taxes are complete you can say "See, it's because we made love!"

If all else fails, masturbate in sexy ways when he is around and order a new vibrator. I love watching my wife do it. If he sees you or knows you are doing it, it may urge him to become involved. If not, you'll have some great 1 person love making!

Thinking about it, I've heard of women getting "post sex blues" where they feel kinda depressed afterwards... I wonder if that could happen to a man as well, so after he's done he feels pessimistic and when things go wrong he uses it as "confirmation bias" and this has turned into a belief system, his "two day rule"?

KeepGoing8,

I have heard that different people have different sexual desires and needs. It isn't unusual for couple to have different ideals. The trick is working with one another, with respect and care.

Personally, I am on the opposite side of the spectrum, like your hub. I have battled very low self-esteem all of my life. Sex is a big trigger for me. Has your hub been sexually abused? It is possible that your hub's mom had some resentment towards his father, which your hub took responsibility for.

These are things that I have to work through. My bf can't make me feel any better about sex ~ though he sure does try hard! In my and your hub's defense, I do try very hard to please. I am sure that your hub tries too ~ it can be dissociating at times, which really stinks. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable. But our personal experiences can really tint the love. It then becomes a chore, something that we have to do in order to please the s.o. It shouldn't be that way. It takes time to work through the negative emotions that we link to sex.

I advise you to gently suggest your hub to see a T ~ someone who he can work through these feelings with. If your hub isn't willing to talk with a professional about it, maybe he'd like to try speaking with someone else. It is important that you and your hub maintain a decent emotional bond by trying to work with one another.

Hope that helps you both...