Question re: bi-curious teen daughter...

My daughter will be 15 next month, and recently she came to me and told me she thinks that she may be bisexual. I told her that it absolutely didn't change how we thought of her, we love and support both our kids no matter what.

I know that her best friend in the world is bisexual, has been for years. I also know that my daughter has had sex with a boy previously. (Whole other LONG story)

My daughter has been getting cozy with a guy at school, but I have noticed what seems like extreme jealousy coming from my daughter's best friend.

My daughter has expressed interes in girls, but not this particular girl...

My question is this: Is it wise to still let her come over to stay the night, or for any sleepovers to happen?

Advice and thoughts on the matter are most welcome. I am not one who doesn't realize that if something is going to happen, it can happen anywhere, anytime.

1. Here's the deal, you don't have any business regulating your daughter's sexual activities. She is an adult not a child. If you raised her right she should be able to tell a good judgement from a bad one. If she can't do that then you're part of the problem and not the solution.

2. What difference does it matter if she has sex with this girl? She probably already did anyway. How is it a problem? She's not gonna catch aids is she?

3. Let her know that she can do what she wants as long as she's safe. If she's having unprotected sex or doing intravenous drugs with gay men then you won't support her or allow it. Simple.

Phoboxyl. Did you bother reading the OP? Her daughter is 14! How is that an adult! Arg, if you don't want to help or support, doesn't mean you automatically HAVE TO attack!
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So tired of people acting like insolent children, with complete disregard for other members...
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KarmaRules, I'm so sorry that that had to be the 1st response you get, hope someone helps soon.XOXO

Phoboxyl, I am sorry if you misunderstood my post.

I fully support my daughter and her choices, and we have very open lines of communication. Whether she has or has not done anything of a sexual nature in any other situation than the one currently being legally dealt with, was not the question.

My question was this: Given this info, as a parent do I still allow sleep overs?

Ask your daughter if she is having any problems with said girl?

Hi ~ My granddaughter is 16 and she lives with me. She IS bi-sexual. She also HAS had sex before, which was before she came to live with me last summer.

I DO allow sleepovers, as I almost always know who she is "involved" with --- I discourage THOSE sleepovers. But she's allowed to have any other friends stay over for the night. Luckily, she's very open with me, so that helps. As long as your lines of communication stay open, you shouldn't have any problems. And for Phoboxl's sake -- STD's CAN be transmitted between SAME SEX partners!! Good grief!

Take care. Hugs, Lee

1. Yes I read it quite thoroughly and I was disgusted. What if she was asking if her daughter could have a Black friend over. Where would your righteous sentiment be then?

2. I didn't "attack" her. I gave her a reality check.

3. I'm being a "child"? Lulz.

4. I did help. I am interested in helping her daughter...who hopefully she isn't screwing up beyond repair with all of this sex-phobic nonsense. This is what's wrong with America.

Yes, I think you should still allow your daughter to have sleepovers. Disallowing sleepovers simply because she is bisexual would be taking away a typical teenage privilege simply because of her sexual orientation. It would make her feel "different" and send the message to her friends that she is, in fact, "different." As Leed suggested, if she is in a relationship with a particular person (male or female) it would be appropriate to disallow those specific sleepovers, but I do not think it would be appropriate to ban sleepovers outright, or to ban her best friend from sleeping over (since, presumably, she is not in a romantic relationship with this friend).

Speaking from personal experience, I'm a lesbian and, as a teenager, I had my female friends sleep over at my house all the time. Nothing sexual happened. They were my "friends." If my dad had banned me from having sleepovers because of my sexual orientation it would have made me feel like a social leper and sent the message to my straight friends that it was not "safe" to sleep over at my house lest I "put the moves on them" during the night. To be excluded from the circle of girl friends who sleep over at each other's houses in high school would make your daughter to miss out on a significant part of the teenage experience, distance her from her friends, and possibly make her resent you.

It sounds like you're an attuned, loving, and caring parent-- I wish you and your daughter the best!

Your daughter is lucky to have such an open and loving parent. If she has discused sexual issues with you it means she trusts you.
You ARE the parent...figure out where you stand....something tells me you you have done an ok job so far...
As you said if its going to happen it will...let it be. You can't cut off her interaction...as long as there is NOT disrespect going on I think it's ok.

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So where in her post is her daughter an adult?
She wasn't being any kinda phobe, but as usual, you only see the narrow road straight ahead, and you know what? that's ok it obviously works for you.

thank you. this is what my gut had been telling me all along, i guess i was just looking for a second opinion.