Been thinking

I just read this article on here about SSRIs and developing teenage/young adult sexuality and it was like a lightbulb going off in my head, that "ah ha!" moment I've been searching for. I've always had a pretty low/nonexistent sex drive (which drives me crazy), and I haven't been sexually active in close to a decade. I'm in my mid 20s and have developed a lot of anxiety about participating in sexual activities with my (relative to my age) lack of experience. I never understood why I may have this low libido, as many of the women in my family have high levels of testosterone, which I know generally correlates with a higher sex drive (although no one in my family talks about sex at all, so I can't nor want to compare sex drives). I suspect I have high testosterone as well for several reasons, but this low sex drive thing never made sense.

After reading this, I couldn't believe I had never thought about SSRIs being the cause. I had been on Paxil from the time I was 12 until I was 19, basically the entire time my sexuality was forming. Having little to no desire during that time may have caused me to not really develop a sex drive at all. If this is the case, is there anything that could be done to reverse the effects? Could this even be a realistic explanation?

I read the article. It really sounds like you need to speak with a professional in order to get a proper answer.

In my case, MDs were hesitant to put me on / keep me on meds that inhibited me sexually because I was not very sexual. (When I was put on meds that inhibited my sexual behavior, I was actually glad that I did not have to deal with sexuality.) Smart MDs saw that I needed to grow sexually and that meds were an impediment. Regardless, it never really happened - the real reason was that I was negatively nutured and no med or professional counseling could overcome that.

From what you have written, it appears that you still suffer from a high level of anxiety/stress. Please bear in mind that a lot of people believe that sex relieves stress! Maybe it's worth a try to go the natural route?

I haven't been on any meds for more than a couple weeks in almost 6 years. Most of my anxiety revolves around not feeling like I'm good enough or that I'll do something wrong. As far as sex relieving stress, the concept of wanting sex is what is stressing me out in the first place - I would like the desire to be there but it isn't.

Well, from what you've said, it appears that your anxiety about sex may be causing you to avoid it. You say the desire isn't there but also say that you have anxiety about doing something wrong or not being good enough is keeping you from doing it. It also appears that the longer you put it off, the worse these fears become.

It appears that you may have performance anxiety. A good counselor can help with that. People with low libidos can still have sex. A little confidence may increase your sex drive.

I read that article too and it was interesting. I took Paxil from ages 17 - 30. I didn't feel like much of a sexual person when I was 17, to be honest. (female) I tapered off last June. Had an orgasm for the first time in my life (gave myself one) about 6 months after I started withdrawing. I had no idea what I had been missing out on for all those years, it felt that good, I was ecstatic. I actually felt a little angry for a while later because I felt so upset that I hadn't reached those heights of pleasure before.

I guess I feel like the issue originated during the time I was on Paxil because I didn't really have a sex drive then. Becoming sexually mature without being interested in sex led me to not have much experience when I decided to stop taking Paxil, and that is when the performance anxiety took over. Now it is the performance anxiety weakening my libido.

Hey, Chipperdear. I am not so sure that the performance anxiety is weakening your libido. Your libido is there. The performance anxiety is blocking you from taking action in order to meet your sexual needs. Treating the performance anxiety will free you up to start taking action to make up for lost time. You have a valid reason for not taking action sooner, and you should not be ashamed of that. Please seek treatment for performance anxiety so that you can get on with your life and enjoy it! There is not greater motivation in life!!