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Member
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 21
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Jul 09, 2012 at 03:33 PM
#1
I am 15 and I have never really though about my gender identity until very resently, I have always been a tomboy in my looks and personality but i have always had a feminim, girly side to me. I never questioned my Identity. However a couple of weeks ago someone asked me if i wanted to be a boy, i replied "no", then they asked me why i dont act more like a girl then, to which i replied "because i dont want to be like a girl". I never realized this was unusual, I thought all tomboys where tomboys because they dont like been a girl, but at the sametime i dont want to be a boy, I am really confused I feel like a girl, i am a girl, but at the sametime Im a boy. yet othertimes i feel like neither. I dont get it could someone help explain this please, any help would be much apreciated.
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Member
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: Land of Stumps and Dismay
Posts: 347
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Jul 10, 2012 at 06:37 AM
#2
Perhaps to confuse you even more, gender isn't as simple as binary (being either a girl or a boy), some people identify as variations between the two, as a few examples: some people identify as androgyne (having elements of both male and female), agender (having an identity that is neither male nor female), bigender (switching between male and female) and many others. Some people move between various of these labels and can't pin down their gender, so may identify as "genderfluid".
I also want to say that if you feel like a girl in your own soul and gut, then you are a girl. You don't need to be like other girls. You don't need to be into feminine stuff. If you feel like a girl, you are a girl. |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 36
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Jul 13, 2012 at 12:45 PM
#3
You are what you are, and who cares what other people think? We are all unique. Don’t worry about defining yourself. Other people may say this bad advice to give to a 15 year old, but do what feels right. To me keeping people guessing is fun. Some of the coolest and most fun people I know don’t fit neatly into any ‘category.’ My wife is kind of like you describe yourself. She loves to do ‘boy’ stuff like shooing guns, fishing, riding ATV’s and fixing cars. But she also loves to cook, scrap book and decorate our house. When she was younger she loved to play with the boys and play boy games, but still loved to wear frilly dresses and stuff all the time and while she played with the boys. She is a perfect woman for me because we can have fun together riding ATV’s and going hunting, but as they say on TV, “she cleans up really well, into a ‘proper woman.’ Which can also be a lot of fun for me
 Don’t worry about others perception of you gender identity. Tell them that you love to do boy things, but you are a young woman and if they can’t handle that they are not (man or woman) enough to even hang out with you. And that they need to go play with the little kiddies until they are mature enough to handle you. If it was me I would add that, “I am more of and a better ( man or woman) than you could ever be.” But once again saying stuff like that is just my nature.
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New Member
Member Since Jul 2012
Posts: 1
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Jul 23, 2012 at 09:32 AM
#4
I'm in a bit of a confusing situation as well. For a couple of years, I've identified as a transman (I'm 16). However, recently I started feeling less sure. I don't really feel like either gender, but genderqueer and androgyny don't really feel right. I want to be one or the other, but I don't know which. When I'm around girls, I feel like a guy, and I act like one. But around certain guys, I get quite feminine. It's rather unsettling.
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Member
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: Land of Stumps and Dismay
Posts: 347
13 1 hugs
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Jul 24, 2012 at 10:03 AM
#5
Break, perhaps something like "bigender"? Androgyny is where you feel like both at once, bigender is where you feel two different genders at different times. I appreciate that doesn't help your desire to be one or other of the binary genders though. I do sympathise too, I know how gender can be so hard to pin down sometimes.
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Wise Elder
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 9,645
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Aug 10, 2012 at 07:46 AM
#6
Here's a piece that might help you understand yourself better...
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/12/ma...ted=8&emc=eta1 |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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