dislike sex

I have bipolarII,bpd,anxiety and panic issues. I have no sexual urges. Non zilch. It was even before meds. I'm not in a realtionship. I'm divorced that was just one of our major problems. I had someone say my lack of or no sex drive is not healthy. It got me to thinking. what's wrong with me? Is it ok to be human and not have a sex drive? I'm confused.

Hey..

Am no expert, but I dont think someone telling you that a lack of sex drive isnt healthy will help you at all, as then you can just add a mix of guilt and shame into the pot. This will never help your sex drive improve!!

Some people have a very very low sex drive, just as some people have a high sex drive. I personally do not think that there is a right or wrong. What is right for YOU is the right thing and please dont take anyone else's opinions to heart. Stuff em!

If though, you are not happy, then perhaps seek therapy. Some people experiment to see if there's something out there that might turn them on etc, but the most important thing is to always feel comfortable with yourself. I dont think a lot of women (and men too!) will feel sexy if they're worried or have negative thoughts.

I wish you all the best :-)

I have had similar issues. Like riot said, stressing about not having a sex drive will almost surely make things worse. There is a lot more to life than sex, and if you aren't interested maybe it is an indication that you should just let it be. Focus on the things that you DO want to do, and maybe the sex drive will come later. Maybe it won't ever be there. On the bright side, I believe that you can live a fulfilling life without sex. :-) Try living a happy sex-free life, and you might find that the impulses develop naturally after a little time.

Good luck. I know it's difficult. *hugs*

I have Bipolar II as well and know that some of the medications can lower your sex drive. It is also okay to just have a low sex drive. I also deal with past sexual trauma so I have to factor that in as well. Do you have any past issues that could be "lingering" in your present life?

If you think you are otherwise perfectly healthy, then if you are OK with not having a sex drive, don't let anyone tell you that you need to have something. I do know various people who don't have sex drives and generally they have been proven to be otherwise healthy (disclaimer: I'm not saying everyone without a sex drive is healthy though). I think it is considered to be a bigger deal in non-asexuals because it causes a lot more interference in relationships and life and the way people think of themselves.

A lot of people say that a person has to be sexual (have a sex drive, have sexual attraction, have a relationship) because that is what is considered to be normal and because often those things make the person speaking to you happy, so by extention they think that by missing those things, you are wrong or are missing out on happiness. They may say those things with the best intentions. If it worries you, then get it checked out if you want to for any underlying cause, but if you are happy without a sex drive, then you can still investigate underlying causes without allowing a doctor to palm you off with libido-raising pills or something. Go with your heart, not someone elses.

Hi there, I do have some issues about the way i view sex. I am very body body concious. I'm BPD so I always am waiting to be rejected about the way I look,feel or perform. I feel like I'm putting on a show of some sort but not enjoing any of it. Somewhere I got the message sex was bad. Probably from my mother although she was always flaunting her sexuality when I was young and I thought she was disgusting. A few years ago I got involved with a man that turned out to be a pedophile and acted on those impulses.. He is now in jail for the rest of his life. He insisted that I call him Daddy. I never had a father so I did tend to like the idea of that. I don't understand how I could fall prey to such a person. My inner child feels violated. I am very shut down. there is just so much there it's overwhelming.