Is sex a basic need ?

I was talking about taking away your internet access altogether. That you interpreted it to mean taking away your access to porn was a very very funny Freudian slip which means that you haven't cured yourself of your porn addiction. You are not watching porn, but you are so preoccupied with it that you think that all people use the net for is to watch porn. Your suggestion for me to use my imagination was especially funny since I do not watch porn due to the fact that I I found it to be exceedingly stupid. Not that I explored at length, but what I saw was too stupid for me to continue. So I use my imagination, which is wonderful, and not because I am desperate but because I love myself and love to do good things for myself. Plus, how my cheeks glow and eyes glisten afterwards are both delightful to see.

What you are exhibiting is very similar to what an alcoholic who went through the 12 steps program but has not really cured the addiction exhibit. They do not consume at all for fear of not being able to stop after drinking a moderate dose. They are very preachy. They are sometimes preoccupied with turning the world into a big sobriety workshop. And, their views are extreme with no middle ground. To which I say - you are not healed. You are still an alcoholic, just an abstaining one (often only temporarily abstaining). If you want to know what me8 to really recover and not be an alcoholic, you can take me as your example. I try to drink one glass of wine a day for health benefits or sometimes two, and in a social gathering I might drink up to three glasses but never more, and I retain good judgment and am a pleasant conversationalist throughout moderate drinking. I never get drunk but I also never try to get drunk because I stop at a moderate dose. I do not tell anybody to stop drinking and do not tell stories about how hard I try to abstain because I do not abstain - I drink optimal amounts of wine. So if you can be like me - drinking moderately and behaving appropriately WITHOUT PREACHING, then you are not an alcoholic. If you cannot be like me, then you are still an alcoholic. You are an abstaining alcoholic who finds it so hard to abstain that hr is triggered by Pellegrino bottles.

I hope the analogy is extra clear so I won't offend you by making a parallel case for sex because it would be spoon feeding. Well, ok, to make sure you see the point - Nonsexual use of the Internet is your Pellegrino bottle.

I do recommend you rethink the current approach because it is positively useless. I have not been in your shoes so I have no experience treating your problem and am simply observing that what gives you an illusion of a solution is not effective.

To be clear - I have never been an alcoholic and I do not know how to effectively treat addictions; what I do know very well is how it feels to not be an addict. When you are truly not addicted, you do not teach others what they need or do not need - you let other people decide for themselves.

Eskie, as a former firmware engineer, you should be able to observe the world around you and draw conclusions from those observations. We know that the divorce rate is high. Were sex so bond-increasing, people would grow increasingly attached in marriage, all of them, but in reality some do and some don't. Also, sometimes studies are done on mice, and do not necessarily translate into the human world. One would need to actually read the studies and examine their design to actually say something reliably.

The recreation and re-creation IS a nice play on words, but in reality that dichotomy does not exist. Not all sex that is not intended for reproduction is for recreation. People have sex for all sorts of reasons, as you should be able to see even if you simply read this forum. People might be lonely, afraid of being abandoned, using sex as a security blanket, to relieve anxiety, out of fear that otherwise their partner would run off, to get promoted or to receive a coveted contract, to appreciate how their partner did a time consuming home improvement project, simply to appreciate their partner for what a nice person they are, to obtain medically proven health benefits of sex, to deal with the fear of death, to use bdsm for emotional trauma healing, out of compulsion, out of a sense of obligation to have conjugal relations with the spouse, due to peer pressure, etc.

Most of those I do not do, but I read and take note, and see that people do all kinds of things. Add Tantra and what they dub sacred sexuality. I saw a picture on which many heterosexual couples were each sexually united and all of it stylized in a Hindu fashion. Weird? Weird. I mean - to me it is funny and I will for now stay within the Western definition of sexuality, but, funny as it is for me, I do appreciate that it is completely benign. And, my point is, to people participating in all of that, it doesn't mean recreation, but means something that is in their minds spiritual, whatever that word means to them.

So again the pun is good as a pun, but does not even begin to capture the reality.

PS Lycanthrope - I do sympathize with the problem, though, and definitely would not want to be in your shoes so I am not trivializing the problem but rather saying that you have not solved it. The question about access to the Internet was meant to illustrate that outside of pure physical survival, people come to depend on things that they need for social survival, and the Internet is one such thing, so it is a need. Sexuality bridges physical and social (and many more), making it hard to even begin to think about it in terms of need or not a need, but that calling it a desire is trivializing is for sure.

It's a need for many people, it's good for health and all that.

Sex is not a basic need. It's more of a basic "want".

I think sex is a need, but only if pertains to people touching one another in a loving way. Well, you might say, hugs would be suitable to fill that void then, and I would say, the kind of human touch and level of it is only appropriate with certain people. You can hug an aunt or an uncle, but you're only going to the "ultimate" level with a spouse or significant other, typically. Yes, I know there's the whole casual sex thing, but that's not a need, that is more of a want.

I think "love" is a basic need. Without love in our lives people literally curl up and die. Love and sex are often intertwined. Sex may not be a requirement but the closeness and intimacy felt during sex emits feelings of love for some people.

I assumed you meant internet access to porn because this thread is to with sex being a basic need. Your suggestion I'm being all preachy is stupid. I don't give damn what you or anybody else does because to be honest, you're not relevant to me and my own well being. I wouldn't consider myself a porn addict. I was someone who watched porn occasionally, but now have removed it totally

The topic is, is sex a basic need, and no it isn't.

Ppl have all different personal opinions, When I am w someone,
I think sex is natural pzrt of the relationship. U can get sex from
just anyone, anytime, but having an emotional connection
through making LOVE, well that is priceless.. and YES, I totally
agree that it is both a want and need.