femdom submission & humiliation

So there is this site I go to, everyone lists there sexual tastes and kink’s and you look around trying to find people who have the same tastes to talk to or whatever. So I keep checking out people who are into domination, sub mission, and humiliation. Some time on purpose, but then sometimes I just kind of run into it. I am kind of drawn to it and angered by it at the same time.
I can see myself giving up some control to another but most of it seems quite extreme to me. These guys are belittled, mocked about the size of their penis, and even go so far as wearing these chastity things!
OK so whats the problem, let them do their thing and me mine. I cant seem to do that. I want to, but there is something about this that strikes me deep and gets me SO mad. Rage might be a better term really. Why can I not just drop this? Why am I actually drawn to this type of behavior when I know what it does to me?

Why would you go to a website that you know will upset you?

Perhaps you feel your manhood is threatened by other women and you don't agree that women should be allowed to be in control and don't agree that women should switch roles.

Just don't do it. Learn some self-control. That's all I have to say.

If you dont like it and you find yourself wanting to visit those sites just remember how much it bothers you. i personally havent experienced what you do, but just dont go if you dont like them.

Perhaps it would be helpful to also post this in the section on obsession and compulsion, given that it has become a compulsion and that you are acting on it against your will. I don't see how you could bring the story to an end and conclude the compulsion. Looking at the web sites just seems to feed energy into the blockage.

Hmm. I am into the bdsm lifestyle myself and know that people react in all kind of different ways. Youre a man, your meant to be the dominating powerful one, right? So many people think this so they think it is "wrong" of them to submit to a domme. Why do you think it makes you so angry? Is it that you think it's wrong for a man to sub to a woman, but you are having fantasies of doing it?

You know I am just not sure what upsets me so. I have never had much of a domineering personality, more passive then anything. I dont like feeling this way and control over these bad feeling is something i want. I dont think it is wrong for a man to submit. You know what its not the submission part that bothers me its what I see as a abuse of the power given to the dom. I guess that is all subjective to the individuals view as to what is abuse. I guess I have actually abused myself a lot really and it has been very painful. Some of the more demeaning acts done to the sub reminds me of the pain I have inflicted on myself.
Thats what it is! It has to be. Well I think anyway, but what draws me to it. I guess I am a self sadist in that respect but I sure dont feel any joy in doing that to myself I am confused I need to roll this around awhile
Thanks for your replies

ok heres my two sense worth

Sometimes if we have been abused in a way we are attracted back to it as a means or reliving the "attention" even if it was the wrong type of attention from a care giver - this was how we saw love - its hard to adjust or even recognise other types of "love"

Some people enjoy being humiliated because it gives them sexual or personal pleasure - if it disturbs you yet you are still attracted to it - are you attempting to punish yourself ? is there a problem wiht low self esteem? using a mask in real life ? these could be some of the causes.

or even that you actually like it but dont think you should?

all things to think about.

Submission doesnt have to be that way - it can be meeting the needs of both parties in a way that enhances and benefits both parties without any need for pain - there are limits that can be in place ...

anyway just throwing in some thoughts .....

feel better soon