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Jan 18, 2013 at 09:32 AM

what kind of a church would want you to stop having an intimate relationship with someone who loves you? considering your background, why would you put a religion above the most important person in your life?

Jan 18, 2013 at 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unhappyguy

what kind of a church would want you to stop having an intimate relationship with someone who loves you? considering your background, why would you put a religion above the most important person in your life?

judging from the reply you gave this woman, i believe that your past was filled with religious people who acted hypocritically and often condemned you, right? I'm sorry you feel that way, but do i have a problem with such people?

likewater · Jan 19, 2013 at 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unhappyguy

what kind of a church would want you to stop having an intimate relationship with someone who loves you? considering your background, why would you put a religion above the most important person in your life?

i thought he loved me, but as he physically attacked me and endangered my life in the car after we were no longer sleeping together, i question whether he did. In the Judeo-Christrian religion, followers are not to have intimate relations before marriage and God is before all else abd the most important relationship before romantic love.

hamster-bamster · Jan 19, 2013 at 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by likewater

i thought he loved me, but as he physically attacked me and endangered my life in the car after we were no longer sleeping together, i question whether he did. In the Judeo-Christrian religion, followers are not to have intimate relations before marriage and God is before all else abd the most important relationship before romantic love.

As an obvious fact, the majority of followers of the Judeo-Christian tradition in America engage in premarital sex. You got yourself into something extremist and fundamentalist, it seems. At the same time, helpful. So, a mixed bag. Good stuff and bad stuff. You can calmly identify what is good to isolate and analyze it. For example, it seems clear from your description that you enjoy and appreciate social support. That is very understandable and you definitely deserve support and nurturance. But many concgretaions engender social cohesion among their members, creating an environment that would be good for you, while at the same time interpreting religious texts in a more compassionate and modern manner, acting more as spiritual advisers, as Harley suggested, and less as prescribers and interventionists. I do not see much compassion to your inability to go off medications while on necessary medications in what you have described. Lastly, while it is excellent that you stopped giving yourself intimately to your bf

hamster-bamster · Jan 19, 2013 at 05:42 PM

Sorry, the phone. So you do not give yourslef to him against your will which is an excellent development but the reason for it had nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with the church's ideology. So the good outcome is purely coincidental. Someone - some church, T, someone needs to focus on YOU and become outraged that for five years you went through an unnecessary self-sacrifice of having intimate relations against your will. Sure women are sometimes tired and may occasionally engage in quick sex just for the sake of the guy while they'd rather be sleeping. You did something else, on a grand scale.

hamster-bamster · Jan 19, 2013 at 05:48 PM

Sorry, no compassion in regards to your inability to get pregnant while on psych meds.

LITHIUM has been used since roughly 1950. Antidepressants, a little less but still for many decades. Essentially, for a long time, more than enough to demand that spiritual leaders adapt to this new reality and adjust their message accordingly, taking into accounts that some of these drugs are teratogenic.

likewater · Jan 20, 2013 at 01:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Sorry, the phone. So you do not give yourslef to him against your will which is an excellent development but the reason for it had nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with the church's ideology. So the good outcome is purely coincidental. Someone - some church, T, someone needs to focus on YOU and become outraged that for five years you went through an unnecessary self-sacrifice of having intimate relations against your will. Sure women are sometimes tired and may occasionally engage in quick sex just for the sake of the guy while they'd rather be sleeping. You did something else, on a grand scale.

Actually, as a child of God, i realized how much God loves me. He doesn't want me hurting or used or disrespected that's one reason the no sex outside of marriage exists.

hamster-bamster · Jan 22, 2013 at 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by likewater

Actually, as a child of God, i realized how much God loves me. He doesn't want me hurting or used or disrespected that's one reason the no sex outside of marriage exists.

You need to develop skills in partner selection. Some people are born with them and for others they are learnable skills. As a fact, most women who have sex outside of marriage do not hurt, feel used, or feel disrespected, and many of them feel quite wonderful, empowered, and happy, so the issue is not the status of the relationship but the selection of relationship partners. To believe that marriage will be the answer to the problem without working on skills development is magical thinking.

Unless...Imagine that the bf does marry you. Changes his mind and marries you. In church. Would you all of sudden, by miracle, want to have sex with him for your sake, not just his sake? If yes, then for you personally the issue IS the status of the relationship. If not, the issue remains with the partner selection.

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Anonymous37913 Guest Posts: n/a	Jan 18, 2013 at 09:32 AM #1 what kind of a church would want you to stop having an intimate relationship with someone who loves you? considering your background, why would you put a religion above the most important person in your life?
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