[LiteraryLark]

My fetish seems to be fading away, like every other obsession I've had. I'm not aroused when I look at pictures or wear my uniform and I don't watch Inglourious Basterds or other Nazi movies. My characters are slowly moving to the back of my mind--we hardly hang out and go on adventures anymore outside of masturbating--and it's infuriating. I don't want to give up my characters or my fetish, especially when I've invested so much into it. I'm still teaching myself German, but not to learn domme commands or to arouse myself but rather because I enjoy learning languages and want something to commit to.

I've recently learned I'm not LGBT at all, I don't find women attractive anymore and now I don't know what orientation I am. Work has taken all of my focus and I don't even feel aroused when I wear my Nazi boots to work and I don't make any references to WWII, especially now since my one coworker who knew about it and enjoyed participating has quit work. I masturbate, but not with the passion and hotness I used to have, it's just to relieve myself when I'm feeling distracted.

I feel angry that I can't feel as aroused as I used to towards my fetish, which I think is now due to having accepted that I have the control and power I thought I didn't have before. And now I'm not so lonely and making an effort to spend time with real people, which before I relied on my characters for comfort for so long. But even so, I really enjoyed the past seven months and don't want this feeling to end. I don't know what to do.

[Harley47]

Hey Doc.

I think you may've answered your own question better than I could...I think, given that the since of power and authority is what attracted you to the uniform in the first place, losing that "specialness" towards the uniform in recognizing you have that power yourself killed the fetish. I know losing something that's been a major part of your life for 7 months sucks, but look at the bright side. I think, speaking for myself, it's better for DrSkipper to have that sense of power and control 24/7 than only fleetingly in the uni. You've come one hell of a long way since I first met you here...you should be proud of that. Exceedingly so.

I can't tell you much about your own orientation. I can only advise that, for the time being, try not to stress about it. I've always thought of it in terms that what's the immediate point of a label. Just be honest with yourself, and try not to worry about it for the time being. I think, given time, you'll find the answer to that.

And I am sorry about the characters. My closest analogue to that was when I started to lose interest in my action figures as a kid (which...lol to be fair, those things kept me occupied until I was...13, I think? I know the comparison isn't quite the same, nor do I mean to imply that your characters are childish. I don't think so. This is only my closest reference.). I had back stories and elaborate personalities for each. They had their own personality, and really, it became a matter that the toy was far less important than the character itself. When they became boring, the memories of them started to fade...six years later, I only remember 3 out of about 30. Losing them is painful, yes. But I think the trade for them to being able to spend time with people and not being lonely (something I struggled a bit with as an only child) is a trade well worth it. Just give yourself some time for the adjustment. It gets easier.

Try to relax a bit Doc. I know losing the fetish, which was a pretty big part of Doc, sucks a bit, but you're gaining so much in return. You should be proud of that. Give this some time, and I think you'll see time prove me right. I think that feeling you don't want to lose will, more likely than not, find its way back to you.

Hugs,
Harley

[LiteraryLark]

Thank you, you always have the right thing to say.

[Harley47]

No need to thank me Doc. Don't like seeing a friend in pain, is all.

And...lol I dunno about always, but I do try.

[CantExplain]

Fantasies wear out.

[LiteraryLark]

But some haven't. Ever since middle school I've had fantasies of gay man/man sex, or other man/man pairings, and that hasn't gone away. It's even intertwined with my current/other fantasies. That doesn't seem to be dying like this one is. But I don't want these fantasies to die out, I was thoroughly enjoying them.

[the submissive]

Aw skip I understand that. Us kinksters change our minds a lot from what I've seen. Like I've gotten over being all submissive and have found I'm acting like more of a brat! For me I found it fun to be cheeky and disobey the rules... which felt wrong because I was always such a good sub. I guess we change every other aspect of our lives so it's only expected for our sexual side to as well. Your fetish has been a big part of your life for a while, it will take some adjustment but I'm sure you'll probably find a new fetish!
As for your orientation, it just takes some exploration and a little bit of fun to see what you want and don't. Many of us would be with a girl in a scene but otherwise are completely straight. So our fantasies about getting in some girl action involved doesn't mean we're not straight, itsjust a fantasy after all. That's my point of view though and possibly completely not helpful just give it some time and remember where we all are if you need a virtual hug and a pep talk!!
M