my partner cross dresses for sex.

Hi. I really am stuck. Ive been with my partner for 10yrs and found out early on that he liked todress as a woman occasionally. He made it out that was just fun so i went along with itand we even went to fetish nights occssionally. But over the years i noticed it wasnt fuu no more, he would take my clothes and make up and wear these, so then i didnt want to wear these things again. I have tried to "give it another go", on and off over the years and i have let him touch me and make love to me when he was drezsed but i found this made me feel dirty and horrible. He only dresses to ejaculate as soon as he has, he takes off the clothes. But i cannot now have sex with him. I feel dirty. If i dress up nice i feel he is only thinging about what he would look like in the clothes. I have caught him several times dressed in my clothes so he can masturbate while watching women on tv. I dont want him to touch me and i have tried to explain and also tried to understand why he does it to see if its my fault. He says he dosent know why he does it but it is clear that he dosent need me. I am just a front so other people dont know. I hate hime for it. I said he could get dressed up a few days back and i said when you look in the mirror tell me what you see. But he couldnt. It was meant that he were just to dress, have dinner, then get undressrd but i ended up being verbal to him and him masturbating watchung himself in tge mirror. He is desrroying us both and i have asked him to leave but says he wont because of the house. We dont have anything in common anymore and this is tearing me spart. Am i to blame ? What do i do? Please can anyone help me to make sense of this before i go insane.

I don't think you're to blame. It's his need/obsession. I suppose some women would be okay with it, but I'm like you. I wouldn't feel comfortable about it.

I suggest you go to see a counselor. Maybe at some point he will go with you. But remember he is happy with the way things are.

I guess if you decide you can't accept things like they are--and he isn't willing to have regular sex with you--then you'll have to see about making other living arrangements.

I'm sad that this has become an issue. I suppose he was afraid to tell you before.

I had a BF that was a cross dresser but he had his own skirts and lingerie and all. He never wore my clothes. We both enjoyed our kinky nights but I can imagine I would have not liked it so much if he wore my clothes. Perhaps go shopping together and pick out some sexy clothes just for him and keep them in a drawer separate from yours.

Hi. Thanks for making me feel a bit better. Ive tried so hard to understand but i cannot accept that he only wants sex if dressed up as it "gets him in the mood". He dosent want me otherwise :-( i would of left him years ago tbh if it wasnt for the house. You see its in both names but i actually live on a caravan park and my sons live at the house and trying go get a mortgage or rent somewhere half decent these days isnt easy. Im 47 this year and he is 53, i dont want to think, this is what i have to put up with for the rest of my life. No sex and knowing hes dressing up to get his pleasure in another room. He also trys to parade around dressed like it if its dark thinking people cant see but when there cars going past i dont know. I do no its making me ill and ive thought today its never going to change so i no what i have to do

I would not be able to tolerate that. I have a very narrow range of what is acceptable for me in the bedroom.

There are lots of men who are able to ejaculate without cross-dressing. I suggest you get in touch with one/some of those men.

Yss i think you are right. Otherwise my life is going to be sexless. I dont think im pretty just normal andhave had good sexual relationships before so i cant be that bad lol. I have told him that im going to look elsewhere but i dont think he believes me but he has only got himself to blame. We now sleep in seperate rooms so really do only share a mortgage. I just want to be happy and he should be happy too and isnt so why wont he let me go !!

Yeah, he should find a partner who is OK with cross dressing. Maybe even someone who positively enjoys it.

You are definitely not to blame the way it sounds. Cross dressing would not be something that I could tolerate either. I want to be the woman in my home and I want my man to act like a man, dress like a man and to treasure me for who and what I am

I think your sexual desire have to be compatible. It's doesn't sound like they are. If you feel dirty by having sex with him, I think you should find a way to resolve the situation. Maybe that means him getting into therapy or something, or maybe it means finding someone else. Have you talked to him about this? Tell him that it creeps you out?

Is the house really worth staying with him? Can you get out of it, if this relationship is that bad? It sounds like this obsession is beyond the point of repair and is a part of him. I wish I had better advice, but I have never had experience with this. Maybe it was a past trauma or something from childhood.

I also agree that you're not to blame. You even gave it a try (and if you hadn't, that's a reasonable choice, too), and you're realizing you really want something else entirely. I don't know how I'd react to such a revelation about my partner. Probably, I'd try it, see how deep he is into it, but I don't think it's something I could have as a regular thing. Or even more than just trying it...I like my men to be manly. I know gender today means a lot of different things, but I do believe there some things that are masculine and things that are feminine.

Sorry your relationship is in question, but don't beat yourself up. You'll both be happy if you find your true matches.

Than you all for advise so far. Just to update you i tried to talk to him about it yesterday a fee times but ignores me or goes to sleep. So i went into his bedroom and said we must talk about it and he cant hide from it as its not fair on either or us and he said.. "goodnight" !!

You really do need another man.

I would agree. If sex is important to you, if need to feel satsfied and fullfilled. Even if it isn't about sex, it doesn't sound like this guy even wants to hear your concerns. You have to do what it best for you. It sounds like he doesn't care much about your releationship.

I'm with hamster-bamster and adam_k. Your mate should be supportive and willing to hear your concerns. I think you need to find a man who's more to your tastes and likings.