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Member Since Mar 2013
Location: melbourne
Posts: 126
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#21
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beauflow
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Member
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: On a mushroom at the bottom of my garden....
Posts: 304
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#22
i've no idea love...
__________________ you wont see your future coming unless you look behind you Non teneas aurum totum quod splendet ut aurum "All that glitter's is not gold." ~William Shakespear~ |
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olive98
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Imperfect Idealist
Member Since Mar 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 8,494
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#23
It really depends on what qualities or traits you value in a partner and what traits you will tolerate to keep a loved one. I have a wonderful Aunt and Uncle who have been together for many years now and they USED to sleep together until she began to snore heavily and he began to have digestive problems resulting in loud belching noises. They still love each other dearly and snuggle when awake, but at night time they must sleep apart now to get the restful sleep they need.
I know another couple that works totally different sleeping cycles because of work. They make it a habit to set aside the time they have together to have a coffee and paper date at home. They don't talk at this time, they relax, read, sip coffee together and listen to music snuggling. The rest of the work week is spent leaving notes and riddles or jokes for each other's day. |
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olive98
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Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: melbourne
Posts: 126
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#24
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If i end up being with my boss when i turn 18 i will for sure be happy to do the right things to make things work in bed, i practice already when he was out i was in his bed lol it felt like i was his wife/gf and he was at work and i was waiting for him but its ok i was out of the bed before he came come |
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Infamous Vampire Duck
Community Liaison
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Mid West
Posts: 12,742
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#25
Depends on the man....
In theory you can kiss and cuddle anytime you want, but he has to be in the mood, and you are only want to cuddle with him when your not upset with him for being a slob and not picking up his socks from the bedroom floor, or whatever annoying thing he does. And YES all of us have habits that others are going to find annoying, male female, it doesn't matter, nobody is perfect. Just make sure you have reasonable expectations, know he is going to have faults. __________________ “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi |
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Nicks_Nose, olive98
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Dancer in the Dark
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: somewhere, i think.
Posts: 5,330
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#26
My fiancee and I share a life together and I have found it, so far, to be quite nurturing and comforting. We are both very physical people and enjoy being close to each other; touch is very important to us. It's not that we don't have differing opinions and sometimes argue; we do. It's impossible not to, unless one or both people are being at least a little dishonest, because we are all different people. But we communicate, and that's the most important thing. Sometimes our conversations are downright uncomfortable but I always feel lighter afterward, and grateful to have had it out. I think the thing to remember is that all relationships are different, and that you will discover what is important to you and what works for you, and what kind of person is a good match for you, and hopefully be able to honor that for yourself.
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Nicks_Nose, olive98, seeker1950
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 366
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#27
being with a man also means letting him see your flaws and you seeing his - like farting during sex.....a kiss that turns into an unwarned belch....figuring out whose going to do what on a daily basis.......whose smelly socks were those anyways....working through finacial issues....how do you decide what to buy with who's money...... and the list goes on and on....and when you both get older and your skin starts sagging and one of you doesn't see the stains around the toilet.....will you still love each other and take care of each other? good luck.
__________________ I Am Worthful ~ Affirmations ~ http://forums.psychcentral.com/copin...-part-1-a.html |
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Wise Elder
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Member Since Jan 2013
Location: angola ny
Posts: 9,786
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#28
SoTrue!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Grand Wise Rabbit
Member Since Feb 2013
Location: England
Posts: 4,084
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#29
I love living with my hubby. It's like a permanent slumber party with my best friend. It works because we give each other space, and both try to do our fair share. I got lucky really as my man does a lot round the house and is very sweet and caring, and tolerates me being a neat freak...
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Nicks_Nose, olive98, seeker1950
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Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: melbourne
Posts: 126
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#30
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hamster-bamster
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Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Posts: 103
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#31
In short... there'll be times you'll be glad you're living together, but there'll also be times when he'll drive you up the wall.
My boyfriend and I have been living together for the past 8 months (wow, times flies...) and in no particular order... - we can kiss and cuddle whenever we want, without having to deal with any nosy roomies or family, and that's great - we split the bills, the food etc., which is a huge help for both of us - we do things around the house together (cooking, cleaning, groceries...) and they don't feel as much of a chore as when I used to do them alone - sleeping together is one of the things I love most about us... now, I can't fall asleep unless he's there or I know he's coming soon. On the downside though, there are times he's driving me crazy. He doesn't pick up after himself sometimes, so the garbage piles up on the kitchen counters and he leaves it there for days. Or if I don't do the laundry, he won't do it either because he 'doesn't know how' (I've shown him, but he still claims it! :P ). And my personal pet peeve, sometimes he ignores everything he has to do (school, chores...) to play videogames, like he's 15 and I'm his mum But those times at least are few and far between. Anyway, I don't regret moving in with him and I can def. see us growing old together. __________________ Borderline Personality Disorder ● Depression ● Antisocial Personality Disorder ● Hypochondria ...but I'm still standing |
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olive98
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Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: melbourne
Posts: 126
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#32
Quote:
My crush is older like 36 [and he will be 39 when i am available] so maybe he won't be as messy as a boy my age. I doubt i will get a job [except for more babysitting] so i can do all the housework maybe anyway |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 518
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#33
39 is too old for someone whose 18, heck it's too old for me and I'm 24! You need to find someone around your own age... you'll have absolutely nothing in common with a 39 year old, you're completely different stages in life.
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Member
Member Since Feb 2013
Posts: 57
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#34
I agree. When I was 20 I gave up a future with my high school sweetheart (3 months before our wedding) for a man 20 years my senior. We got engaged but after 4 years I ended it. Giving up my plannd future for him was a big mistake that I pay for every day ... Even 33 years later. He would now be 73 and I can't imagine still being with him.
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Nicks_Nose
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#35
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Olive, I say this as kindly as possible. You are still a child. You are not ready to think about living with a man yet. Stay in school, get your own life straightened out, and THEN think about romance. Because if you think living together is all about hugging and kissing and cuddling, you are definitely still too immature. There, I sat on it for a day or two, and decided to say it. You say you don't think you'd be able to get a job besides babysitting? Why is that? That's what you need to work on, not being romantic with some man old enough to be your father. Get your mind off sex and put in on school work where it belongs. I need to note that if I sound harsh, it's because I was the same way. At 15, my thinking was like, "Oh, marriage marriage marriage, men men men, life is all about romance and having a husband, and when I'm married everything is going to be rosy from then on." I thought the absolute worst thing that could happen to me was to end up being an old maid, and I also thought that the sooner a girl got married, the hotter and more attractive it meant she was. So, my goal was to be married as soon as possible. No, when I babysat, I was never so brazen and inappropriate as to lie down on their father's bed and fantasize being married to him, but I certainly did have a romanticized, overly ideal image in my head about what marriage was like. This despite my mother's multiple divorces. At 18, I moved in with an older man, simply because nobody could legally forbid me. Was it the right thing to do? No. Was it good for me? No. But my mother couldn't tell me not to, so I did. He was an alcoholic who physically abused me and used sex selfishly. By that I mean, he treated me like I was an object. I might as well have been a knot in a tree stump, for all the feelings he had for me. As long as he was satisfied, that was all that mattered to him. I also existed to cook and clean for him, but not to be loved by him. This was 30 years ago. Has society not progressed beyond this point yet? Are teenage girls still being taught that they exist to serve a man, and it doesn't matter how she is treated in return? And are they still led to believe that living together is all about snuggle snuggle snuggle? Maybe if someone had told me to concentrate on myself, instead of putting my energy into wanting to be romantic with a man, I would have frozen them out. But that's what I've learned, so I had to try anyway. Last edited by anon20140705; Mar 28, 2013 at 05:55 PM.. |
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Anonymous32825, lizardlady, Maven
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lizardlady, Maven
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#36
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But I do suggest you date boys in your own age range. You are going to miss out on alot waiting for someone so much older than you, who you are likely not to have much in common with, even at 18. Slow down, take your time, and have fun! There is no reason to be in a hurry to grow up. |
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Nicks_Nose
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 5,042
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#37
It is both the most wonderful thing and the world and the worst! You really have to decide what is important to you.
__________________ I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children. |
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#38
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#39
I also forgot to mention to make good friends that will be there for you when life does get hard....some of them will be your support system. And some of them later will drift off as they marry and have kids, whether you do or don't...people move, people change. But hold on to the people who matter most now for as long as you can....your friends and/or family will most likely be there long after some boy is gone.
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Nicks_Nose
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Pirate Goddess
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: South Jersey, USA
Posts: 5,246
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#40
I noticed something else you said, stating that you'd be okay to be with someone who calls you names because you get along well with people. If your mate is calling you names, that's verbal abuse, and should never be tolerated. Abuse hurts and scars, even when it's not physical.
I think you said you'd be 18 in three years, which means you're 15 now. I agree with the others that you should look for someone more your age. I dated a 49-year-old man when I was in my early 20s, and it didn't last long, plus, now that I'm older, I can see he took advantage of my youth and naivete. You should slow down and not be ready to jump into a major relationship right now, or even when you're 18. That's not to say you can't find that special someone while you're young, but you should focus on learning and educating yourself now, and that includes in romantic areas. Learn a bit about feminism...women and men should be equal in a relationship (and not just in romantic relationships). __________________ Maven If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream. Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights |
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