whats it like to live with a man?

If I'm not mistaken, the young lady in question here isn't EVEN 18. She was talking about waiting UNTIL she's 18 to be romantically involved with the man whose children she babysits. In fact, if I'm correct, she is 15.

Olive, I say this as kindly as possible. You are still a child. You are not ready to think about living with a man yet. Stay in school, get your own life straightened out, and THEN think about romance. Because if you think living together is all about hugging and kissing and cuddling, you are definitely still too immature. There, I sat on it for a day or two, and decided to say it.

You say you don't think you'd be able to get a job besides babysitting? Why is that? That's what you need to work on, not being romantic with some man old enough to be your father. Get your mind off sex and put in on school work where it belongs.

I need to note that if I sound harsh, it's because I was the same way. At 15, my thinking was like, "Oh, marriage marriage marriage, men men men, life is all about romance and having a husband, and when I'm married everything is going to be rosy from then on." I thought the absolute worst thing that could happen to me was to end up being an old maid, and I also thought that the sooner a girl got married, the hotter and more attractive it meant she was. So, my goal was to be married as soon as possible. No, when I babysat, I was never so brazen and inappropriate as to lie down on their father's bed and fantasize being married to him, but I certainly did have a romanticized, overly ideal image in my head about what marriage was like. This despite my mother's multiple divorces.

At 18, I moved in with an older man, simply because nobody could legally forbid me. Was it the right thing to do? No. Was it good for me? No. But my mother couldn't tell me not to, so I did.

He was an alcoholic who physically abused me and used sex selfishly. By that I mean, he treated me like I was an object. I might as well have been a knot in a tree stump, for all the feelings he had for me. As long as he was satisfied, that was all that mattered to him. I also existed to cook and clean for him, but not to be loved by him. This was 30 years ago. Has society not progressed beyond this point yet? Are teenage girls still being taught that they exist to serve a man, and it doesn't matter how she is treated in return? And are they still led to believe that living together is all about snuggle snuggle snuggle?

Maybe if someone had told me to concentrate on myself, instead of putting my energy into wanting to be romantic with a man, I would have frozen them out. But that's what I've learned, so I had to try anyway.