whats it like to live with a man?

My hubby and I have had our issues, but at night, when im by my husband's side, and I know at any time I can kiss or even just touch his shoulder, everything inside me settles and I feel safe and loved. The right person makes all the difference. Dont forget, sometimes love is all you need! You just have to have the right person.

After 21 years, I often wish I had my own bed, my own space, my own life. But on the other hand, I wish he didn't consider sex as love.

Hmmmm ... Why do you ask such a question?

I know you're quite young, and you would like education. So I'll share my experience.

It depends partially on the man. Some are easier to live with than others, the same as women.

My husband snores, for example, but that doesn't bother me. I take it as a "comfort sound." It tells me he's there, and that helps relax me. For other people, though, a partner who snores would be a problem, and it would disturb their sleep.

Now, the important part to understand is, there is much more involved in living with a man, besides sleeping in the same bed and watching TV together. You have to consider each other's habits. My sleep patterns have always been inconsistent, so if I'm awake at night, I have to be careful not to make noise or turn on a light where it will bother my sleeping husband. It would be very difficult for him to live with me if I didn't try to be considerate. Division of labor is a consideration. Who is going to do the cooking and the housework, especially if both of you has a job? Does he expect you to pick up after him? What are you going to spend money on, or save up for? Should one of you make a major purchase without consulting the other? How do you treat each other? Are you polite? Does he feel it's perfectly acceptable to insult you and call you names, because "you should be able to take a joke" or does he care about your feelings?

Then there are the little annoying things like whether or not he puts the toilet seat back down when he's done using it.

And no, you pretty much can't kiss and cuddle whenever you like, because at least one of you is going to have to earn a living for part of the day.

Awe, I want to get married, I'm so sick of dating, it's a PITA.. I wish I could bypass it somehow and just be married to someone wonderful and have everything be boring yet comfortable and feeling like family- knowing that a mans there for me.. I don't like the feeling that comes with having a crush, all the nervousness/uncertainty/infatuation... and things usually don't work out anyways.

Dating does suck, for sure. But trust me, you don't want things to be "boring" in a marriage because bad things happen when guys get "bored".

I understand your feelings about being excited/nervous re: dating a guy, and then he doesn't work out. It's quite a letdown.

But the more guys you date, the more likely you are to find the right person for you.

I'm very novelty seeking when it comes to relationships, I tend to date guys who I feel have interesting careers/lifestyles. I've dated a lot of musicians.. they can be interesting/exciting but often times make terrible boyfriends.. but I can't get past it, everyone else seems so subpar. Things are either really exciting to the point where it's overwhelming and I can't get comfortable.. or I'm totally bored/disinterested. I'm not sure how to get over my ex.. he had his masters in physics and was also a musician... like he was so angry and passionate and channeled it all into intellectual and creative pursuits, it was beautiful to me. He was also introverted/socially awkward like me but learned how to manage it.. he could recognize that he just didn't like people and he didn't care. Not only that we had amazing chemistry. :X No one else comes close to comparison.. I kind of give up.

I feel a need to point out that to people accustomed to a dysfunctional or abusive relationship, a normal, healthy one seems "boring." In that context, I would say that "boring" is a good thing. My husband knows he's a routine, average, boring old working stiff, he wants to be that, and I wouldn't have him any other way.

I was defining "boring" as people I have seen who are married but lose that important connection with each other...maybe THAT should be called dysfunctional. What you are describing sounds both "comforting" and "comfortable" to me, which sounds lovely.

As long as you can get them to clean up their own messes (which would be a feat in itself) and put the toi-toi seat down, it's ok.

And as someone who is now divorced and an only child, I found out I resented him moving into MY space. It was a mistake but financially speaking, since I own my condo, really our only option at the time. Deep down I hated it tho. A couple should really get their own first space together, for sure. (If possible.)

Unless he owns a mansion and you move in and have your own rooms and pools and servents. Pfft, ha!

I've lived with my boyfriend for 19 years. We have our own rooms, our own beds, and that's how I like it. You may think it's unromantic, but I'm getting the feeling you're quite young, and being in a relationship isn't all lovey-dovey all the time. Everyone needs their own space sometimes, and your partner can sometimes do things that get on your nerves, and vice-versa. That's not to say there's no real romance, but it's not constant and always sweet, the way I think you're picturing it.

I know you're quite young, and you would like education. So I'll share my experience.

It depends partially on the man. Some are easier to live with than others, the same as women.

My husband snores, for example, but that doesn't bother me. I take it as a "comfort sound." It tells me he's there, and that helps relax me. For other people, though, a partner who snores would be a problem, and it would disturb their sleep.

Now, the important part to understand is, there is much more involved in living with a man, besides sleeping in the same bed and watching TV together. You have to consider each other's habits. My sleep patterns have always been inconsistent, so if I'm awake at night, I have to be careful not to make noise or turn on a light where it will bother my sleeping husband. It would be very difficult for him to live with me if I didn't try to be considerate. Division of labor is a consideration. Who is going to do the cooking and the housework, especially if both of you has a job? Does he expect you to pick up after him? What are you going to spend money on, or save up for? Should one of you make a major purchase without consulting the other? How do you treat each other? Are you polite? Does he feel it's perfectly acceptable to insult you and call you names, because "you should be able to take a joke" or does he care about your feelings?

Then there are the little annoying things like whether or not he puts the toilet seat back down when he's done using it.

And no, you pretty much can't kiss and cuddle whenever you like, because at least one of you is going to have to earn a living for part of the day.

All excellent points.

And I would like to add that usually at least one of you has had a not-so-stellar day if you both work and come home...at the very least one of you is grumpy or pooped. People, even people in love, are hardly ever on the exact same "plane" all the time, so you have to learn to compromise and be supportive and learn, for example...if he had a bad day, what does he need? To be alone, or to talk? OR to be alone for a little while, and THEN talk? There are so many grey areas you have to pay attention to, and make sure you always communicate. And if you really love the person, you will respect these moments and patterns and he should do the same for you.