what kind of sexual encounters do you have

1Buster--Maybe it would help to have time to discuss what she wants from intimacy? If you focus on her needs first--sexual, emotional, even helping around the house--I think most women might reciprocate big-time.

I dunno...its been awhile

We often do the long drawn out variety but only because we get to bed at about the same time and one thing leads to another. There is less pressure on this type of intercourse because to me it feels like an exploration more than anything. Which is what it often is. Sometimes it doesn't turn into sex, sometimes it does.

helping around the house, and being conscious of my needs of of the bed room is a huge plus. It crtinly increases the likelyhood of me sharing. But when help comes with the expectation of "Payment". I'd rather do the dishes by my self. Help me because you want to not because you want the prize for being a good helper.

Before the marriage there were serious issues that I realized about his personality & I wanted to call off the wedding because of.....I didn't want to be married to an arrogant person who wanted everything served to him on a silver platter without having to work for things....however that's now how he saw himself & even though he was 22 & I was 21.....my mother convinced me that he would grow up & become more responsible when he HAD TO when life put him in difficult situations. Life did & he didn't.....he now blames it on his ADD....at least he now has an excuse for it rather than just being the horrible jerk I always saw him as & I didn't trust him to make any good important decisions & since I had the business degree, I really didn't trust him farther than I could throw him. Having sex with someone I didn't trust just wasn't appealing....having sex with someone who fought me on everything in our life because we definitely didn't see things at all the same....really NOTHING.

We had sex one too many times & we ended up with our daughter.....& I have to admit, he was good with kids....as good with them as I wasn't. I tolerated him for 33 years the last 13, we just lived under the same roof......when I have negative feelings about someone, having sex with them is the last thing I want if the other things that are seriously important to the marriage can't be resolved....having sex wouldn't change what was seriously wrong & he didn't want to change.

Before we got married I even listed all the things that I wasn't going to compromise on....getting my degree was tops & I also pointed out that I didn't want to have children because I wasn't good with them & didn't have the patience to be a good mother. 2 years after getting married I got pregnant.....first thing he told me was that I could just take a few years off & get my degree later.....I was 10 months away from getting my degree when our daughter was born....boy was I angry....hit just blew off the top 2 issues I went into the marriage with.....I told him where he could take his ideas & threw him out of the apartment. My parents stepped in to take care of our daughter was so thankful....but that was just another nail into the marriage coffin. Financial irresponsibility was another huge nail in toe marriage coffin also & when depression hit me 20 years after we got married when I lost my career to hide away from the marriage in....I found out that he had no ability to take care of any financial medical bills & the collection agencies....I realized I was so much better off having to take care of myself being alone than feeling like I should be able to depend on him being married...just couldn't get my mind around being married to someone & not being able to trust them to take care of the things I would take care of if they were in the same situation....it might not sound like abuse.....but it definitely felt like it & the anger got to the point all I could see was red any time I got close to him.....definitely NOT a condition that lent to having sex of any kind with him.

having sex means everything to me. being connected, the passion. My H has a healthy appetite only for someone else. I know, why put up with it, I know what I have to do. we enjoy sex when we have it. I'm 60 yrs old and I still want the intimacy and the closeness and definitely having the moment of pleasure. Don't think a person can ever be too old to enjoy sex.

eski, I don't have the time to go into my whole story here. My life is an open book. Anyone that wants know why I do the things I do only has to look back at the things I have posted in threads. It has been a long cold lonley climb out of the pits of hell. I arrived at the top and am hoping things improve. Love will prevail and hopefully
i will learn to like sex or accept sex. Love come first though.

True, I didn't really think of sex as payment but I get what you mean...it can turn into that if a spouse gets impatient.

I've never experienced a quickie. The shortest time it has been for me was like 10 minutes and that felt too short. I wouldn't say I like long drawn out sex, but 20-30 mins seems to work best for me and my partner. Longer than that and certain parts begin to feel raw from the friction and become a lot less pleasurable.

Adam I totally agree more then 20 or 30 min and you get "rug burn". Not good. Good for you I hope quickie are something you never get reduced to. Have kids and it might though. 30 sec is sometimes all the opportunity you get. I feel the guilt of having to take care of his needs and if sec does it then I can spare 30 sec. I don't like that 30 sec, clean up takes longer then 30 sec, but what ever.

I love extended foreplay...raising my partner's passion to a fever pitch before entering her. I've always preferred foreplay over the actual "act." Ejaculation is nice, but it's kind of an anti-climax after testing & teasing the nerves all over my partner's body. I hope I'm not being too graphic...But you asked.

That sounds like fun. That is the kind of special things a girl dreams about. After a rape I don't stay present long enough to enjoy that. But one day I hope that is what sex turns into. I want to enjoy my mind just want let me. Thank you for sharing and congratulations on pleasantly exciting sex.

passionate sex w/ sometimes quickies