I wish to talk about sex

Hi, I've just joined today and here is my first thread, my introductory thread if you will. I apologise in advance for its girth.

Now, first off, why am I here? Well I'm here because I am an extremely curious individual and my major, although by no means exclusive, preoccupation has always been with myself (in one form or another). Thus I wish to share aspects of myself and my lifestyle in order to see whether others are able to relate or are perhaps able to help to shed some light on my proclivities and behaviour, in this instance that of a sexual nature.
Now I'm male, currently 27 years old. I've never been in a relationship. With one woman I went on successive dates over a period of a couple of weeks and we kissed and spoke on the phone a few times but it faded quickly and that's as far as it's gone. And my sexual experience, as in regards to sex with other people, is very limited and relates exclusively to services rendered (if you catch my drift). Partly as a result of this the older I've gotten the harder I've found it to define myself sexually.

Let me give a little more background:
I first remember experiencing attraction to the opposite sex at around the age of 9. I was fascinated by the girls in my class and I have continued to be fascinated by attractive girls since then. The strange thing is that I have very little desire, if any, to actually have sex with any of them.
All my attractions to women have been based on a combination of looks and personality. Looks by themselves fade quickly as a spur for motivation, I'm happy to gawp at such women but I wish for no further interaction with them. Although I would often develop obsessions over women whom I felt were unattainable and I'm starting to think that it was their unattainability itself that I was always fascinated by.

As I've gotten older women seem much less unattainable, potentially at least, and I find myself becoming less fascinated by them in that way. I have to physically keep my distance and admire them from afar, if I get into conversation with them and get on with them I start to look at them more as friends. If they demonstrate an interest in me sexually then I usually run a mile.

Now I'm naturally a quite reserved person in some ways but in others I'm very outspoken. I don't think I suffer from crippling shyness I think I just don't desire the traditional romantic relationship, neither do I desire a purely physical relationship as on the limited occasions I've tried this I felt disappointingly un-stimulated.

Yet I love pornography, but only lesbian pornography. The sight of an erect penis kills my arousal immediately. Whilst I can perfectly understand the romantic attraction between same-sex males, on the sexual side I couldn't be more apathetic.
The fact is that I'm completely unmoved by watching heterosexual sex, even watching men and women kissing on TV is a bit of a turn-off for me, but women kissing each other is a whole other story.

Masturbation figures daily or once every two days. But I never use my imagination, only via lesbian porn may I reach the magic O.

So what am I? Asexual? Autosexual? Lesbian? I really don't know and I guess up to now I haven't bothered to define myself but I would like some opinions based on what I've said thus far.
Because I've never held a relationship my sexual status doesn't really concern anyone but myself but it should be said that a part of me has always desired to be in a traditional loving relationship with someone of the opposite sex, the thing is that the older I get the more I seem to be moving away from that possibility rather than closer to it (as I would rather have predicted).
My voyeurism and insistence on keeping my distance from any such attachments seems to becoming a more potent and powerful instinct the older I get.

One more thing. Sexually I was certainly a late-bloomer. I didn't experience my first conscious orgasm until the age of 21, in-front of lesbian porn of course, and the first time I had coital sex was aged 23. I've never come whilst having sex with anyone else. I could've, whilst being given a blow job, but I resisted (it was almost like I was consciously stopping my seed from being dispersed around these women).

So ideas? Advice? Empathy? Please respond. And don't be afraid to ask me anything I may not have covered, as you may have gathered, I'm happy to be very open here.

Well lesbian you are not. You are male so that makes lesbian not really an option. You have no real desire to have sex, correct? and the sight of male and female togetherness sexually and kissing and stuff even on T.V. does nothing for you, correct? Just checking to make sure I got the facts right.

Well I think you are a normal male who has no way of relating to sex, so you have no reason to feel desire from watching hetro sex. Think of it like watching commercials on TV about alcohol or smoking. Unless you smoke or drink these commercials have little affect on you. Same goes for sex and sexual related stuff.

As for watching porn, and liking to see lesbians, that is fine to. It might even be a positive sign that you do not like watching gay men type pron. You like what you can relate to. You can't relate to sex so much, but you can enjoy watching the ladies. If you are gonna watch one why not two. I am female who views my fair share of pron. I have no need to see sex, hetro sex. My H and I have sex but it does nothing for me. So this strange screaming crazed sex stuff doesn't seem realistic to me. I get most of my needs met via oral stimulation or self. So that is what I like to watch. Lesbian is not my preference, though it does involve some of that, a lot of that. I choose to watch hetro sharing that. I know what that is like and can relate. That is why I think it is not out of the ordinary for hetro sex to not be one of your most favorite things to view.

It is very nice to meet you and I am glad you have came to this forum. I think it will prove very insightful. Hope to see ya around.

Thanks for your reply and it is very nice to meet you too.
I feel you are correct in your assessment, I do not have any strong desire to have sex. Please do not interpret this as a derogatory comment, it isn't meant in that way, but if I were female then I'd probably go along for the ride but as a male it's pretty obvious when I'm not into it and I refuse to ply myself with drugs for the purpose, I'd rather follow my natural inclinations (or lack thereof).
I wonder whether there is any hope for me in the future though, if I knuckle down hard enough and try to open up and connect with a potential partner one day. Feeling unmotivated by sex is fine as a singleton but I'd hate to think that I'd be unable to satisfy any potential future mate. I've always pictured a future where I would be with someone and, try as I might, I cannot shake the desire to find an attractive, intelligent, caring and honest woman to settle down with one day. It's just that I also have this desire to be utterly independent and free and as I'm not seduced by the sexual aspect of things I find it very easy just to be friends with women and rarely desire to push it any further than that, even though I've met some women I really like personality wise and whom I find to be very attractive.
My hunch is that I'm just not in the right phase of my life yet and that in the future things might change. For me sex with another person without intimacy feels cold and shallow and yet I love to play the voyeur in front of my computer screen.
Sex plus intimacy seems like a great idea in theory but it's scary because I feel that there would be very little going back from there. I've always wanted to travel and I have a job which has the potential to take me from continent to continent. I've split my time equally between three countries so far this year already and I love the freedom of being able to just jet off when the mood takes me.
As I say it's not a problem for the immediate present but I would like to try and meet a woman when I next settle down, I'm figuratively between countries at the moment.
Someone I could wine and dine, and who could wine and dine me from time to time. Someone whom I could go and watch a film with and kiss and cuddle, and, if the mood ever takes me, have sex with too perhaps.
Is there hope for me one day? Who knows...

Like wize it is nice to meet you and I hope you are enjoying your time here at pc. This forum and others.

Being on the move is a good reason not to settle down, it would be heart breaking for the wrong girl if you fell in love. Haveing the freedom to do what ever when ever is very nice. I can understand you wanting to have someone to do things with and even potentially be romantic with.

It is not uncommon at all for you to be able to connect with the ladies and not have a sexual interest. I am sure the ladies are quite comfortable with you because you do not chase after them in a sexual manner. What a wonderful gift you will have to offer someday. "Saving you self for marriage" on purpose or not. Some lucky girl gets to make you into the kind of lover she wants. No preconceived notions or past experience to mess that up. Look at it that way, so it is not such a terrible thing.

Haha, how ironic that is, the idea of me saving myself for marriage, me being very much the atheist. At least if I was religious I'd have a convenient cover story though, of course I'd have to skip a few details...
I agree with you about the heart-breaking part if I were to strike up that sort of relationship with somebody just to ship-off. To be honest I don't think I could do it to a girl, or myself, it would taint my freedom, make me feel as if I had blood on my hands somehow (don't read anything Freudian into that!)
I'm very sensitive deep down you know

I do not think what you are doing or rather not doing has anything to do with marriage.

Are you traveling non-stop from place to place on three continents or do you have three more or less stable "hubs", one on each continent? Because if it is the latter, you can still have part-time relationships.