Masturbation

Create work. Make people dig ditches, even if later on you will make them throw the dirt back into the ditches to make roads even.

Roosevelt and the New Deal - North Carolina Digital History

So if your problem is that you do not have enough activities and basically default to masturbation for lack of anything else to do, create work - get out and dig ditches. Eventually you will be OK.

A lot of people have tried to point to you that there is nothing wrong in your masturbation. You have been completely impenetrable to any of their attempts to alleviate your guilt feelings and improve your life. OK, so nothing has so far worked from the rational side of things.

You have also tried "addiction" and "12 step" approaches, which have failed as would have been expected. So, nothing has so far worked from the oppressive side of things, either.

OK, so that leaves us with your time budget - you have a certain number of waking hours and in the absence of competing interests, you occupy those waking hours with masturbation and are unhappy about it. Well, occupy those waking hours with something else!

(btw.. You mentioned being ashamed of speaking your own language. This is an abnormal cultural-social belief. Thats something no one should feel badly for... So yeah, you have a social issue going on, if only in some ways.)

There is a concept in mental health called cognitive distortions. They are ideas that your subconscious develops based on your experiences, either good or bad, and that you use to predict future events and interact with other people.

If you have preconceived notions about what's going wrong with you, and stubbornly hold onto that position, no therapist will be able to help you, and you'll just spin your wheels in therapy.

Another reason why therapy can be unproductive is that you either consciously hide issues or practice self deception regarding what's going on in therapy. If a therapist isn't informed, they can't read your mind...

Lastly, not all therapists are (a) skilled in your particular problem set or (b) will mesh with you personality wise. (b) is theoretically more important than (a), but both matter.

Just because you saw one therapist and didn't get anything out of it, doesn't mean that will repeat with the next therapist (unless you were stubborn or deceptive, that is.)

Maybe just the fact that you're a little older will mean you have a different experience too.

It seems like you're a bit of a broken record. No one here can help justify your shame and guilt over masturbation, because sex isn't inherently dirty or bad. It's simply human.

No amount of posting in threads about sexuality or masturbation are going to fix this, because from my POV, that's the symptom, not the problem (although symptoms are distressing, but they get solved by fixing the problem.)

I'd repeat... Try therapy again. Maybe try to get an Asian therapist too? Try to take as open an attitude into therapy as you can, and you might find it to be entirely different experience this time.

EDIT: btw... If you want to dig and fill a ditch in replying to people on the Internet, and you're in a debate thats going nowhere, instead of picking out small parts of others' posts that you can answer, try answering the debated post as a whole. Picking and choosing what you reply to is practicing overt confirmation bias (believing things that agree with your existing beliefs, ignoring others.)

When you write something, it would be good if you checked your facts before posting.

That the crime rate has gone up, per your assertion - has that been checked?

That Asians do not masturbate - has that been checked?

So I think I have the kind of ditch you need to dig - how about you do research before posting, and this way, you will be using the Internet in ways other than solely for 1) porn 2) complaints about porn? So it will still be your using the computer, but not for the purposes of masturbating and only masturbating?

How about you figure out where the crime stats have been in REALITY over the past few generations? Start Law Enforcement, Courts, & Prisons - The 2012 Statistical Abstract - U.S. Census Bureau and work yourself through it.

Um, yeah, and it's also because the majority of the asian race frown upon this habit. I don't know of any asians who actually masturbate. I'm asian, and it's rare for someone like me to be doing this.

well when i wake up, I often feel like i should be isolated from the world. I feel like I'm afraid of walking out of my house because then people who drive by will know where I live and my friends whom i hardly cross paths with will be able to recognize my house. So, I try to not go out so much. Plus, after watching porn, I feel like I don't want to come out into the world again. I would be pretty cautious because it seems like people are condemning me for that kind of behavior. They act like they don't have any addictions whatsoever. They look at you with downright mean eyes and I'm just thinking,"Is it just me, or did that man/woman just glare at me?"

When you write something, it would be good if you checked your facts before posting.

That the crime rate has gone up, per your assertion - has that been checked?

That Asians do not masturbate - has that been checked?

So I think I have the kind of ditch you need to dig - how about you do research before posting, and this way, you will be using the Internet in ways other than solely for 1) porn 2) complaints about porn? So it will still be your using the computer, but not for the purposes of masturbating and only masturbating?

How about you figure out where the crime stats have been in REALITY over the past few generations? Start Law Enforcement, Courts, & Prisons - The 2012 Statistical Abstract - U.S. Census Bureau and work yourself through it.

Doesn't porn kill your brain cells? Afterwards, my head hurts and there's like a sensation in my brain that makes my head kind of warm. I don't know what it is, so I assumed that it was my brain cells getting axed. I mean, watching porn has really made it hard for me to reason well.

I am talking about the older generations, like grandma's or maybe the women in their 50s. we are part of the modern generation, but they aren't. If they know that you've been masturbating, then you're basically just screwed.

More like you don't know any Asians that admit to it.

The therapist was asian, and yes, for the most part, I had been lying to her about everything because she was being too intrusive with her questions.

They seem more analytical, less concrete. I have a pretty concrete mind, but my history teacher thinks i'm analytical. I disagree because when it comes to working on english and it tells me to synthesize or analyze and duh duh duh, i just answer it with several words and that's it. I can't go in-depth.

that is not true, but given what you posted about believing that other people are condemning you, I will no longer try to challenge your view of reality. You do need medical attention with this. This kind of thing won't go away on its own.

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

Therapy won't work if you lie to your therapist. The trick to understand is... if you don't want to answer something, instead of lying, say you don't want to answer that.. and the feeling that it brought up-- the why.

That will clue the therapist in that she needs to use a different approach.

I think you need an MD p-doc for paranoid ideation.

I think that the main reason SO many of us have been utter failures trying to get through to you is because of your paranoid ideation. Everything that has been said so far in various attempts to get through to you has been said with the hope that logic would have some positive effect on you, but it wouldn't since logic is pretty much hopeless against strong paranoid ideation.

Did you say all of that (quotation above) to your school therapist? What did he say in response?

I am sorry but it seems that you do need antipsychotics because therapy alone won't fix this issue. It would be good to see a p-doc (psychiatrist) who specializes in adolescents, since pharmacotherapy in your age group is trickier than in the adult group.

You probably need a combination of T and antipsychotics.

Nope.. Thats not brain cells dying. That's the norepinephrine and dopamine surging through your brain. Normal.

And it doesn't have much to do with reason, per se... but if you're beating yourself up so much, you will get depressed, and that will effect your reasoning.

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

Therapy won't work if you lie to your therapist. The trick to understand is... if you don't want to answer something, instead of lying, say you don't want to answer that.. and the feeling that it brought up-- the why.

That will clue the therapist in that she needs to use a different approach.

I would add Lycanthrope's idea into the mix: just as OP lied to his therapist, so do other Asian people lie (no, not lie, but refrain from disclosing) when asked about their masturbation habits, and that network of lies creates an impression of Asian people being different from the rest of us.

But then again, this is all logic and logic won't work.

I am paranoid too because i think that all that staring is stemming from my porn problem. then my counselor reassured me that nobody knows your secret activity.

Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia - since you are already 17, that would be for you.

In other words, if you are really interested in what kind of intelligence you have, there is a formal, well-validated way to find out. It just costs money. But at least you will know and that knowledge might help make education and career decisions later on. I think it would be money well spent.