Masturbation

hamster-bamster · Jun 21, 2013 at 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heyitsme7

He told me that dude, nobody knows your secret activity. Maybe you're just a little too paranoid. People have been telling me that. it seems like everyone else notices me too much, and when i ask them, i sound like an idiot. all they're doing is just glancing up to me and i think that the "hostility" in their eyes is mainly due to their seemingly angry look. I start talking to them and their voice sounds pretty gentle, so no i don't think they were mad. But i hate keeping a stiff upper lip in public and when others do it i perceive it as hostile.

Well that part - about reading the signals sent to you by others around you - may be fixable via skills training/therapy. That part does not call for medication, per se.

Jun 21, 2013 at 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I would add Lycanthrope's idea into the mix: just as OP lied to his therapist, so do other Asian people lie (no, not lie, but refrain from disclosing) when asked about their masturbation habits, and that network of lies creates an impression of Asian people being different from the rest of us.

But then again, this is all logic and logic won't work.

asians have a lot to say sometimes, I guess. Older asian women that I have seen on the bus would talk about how others were not acting the way they should, but the more i overhear their conversations, the less hypocritical they are. They tend to do the same too.

Jun 21, 2013 at 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mapleton

(sorry about talking to hamster about you, in here, heyitsme... but you can use some help, and need to try a different direction... just brainstorming.)

I'm agreeing with you about the paranoia here. I agree with the psychiatrist suggestion. All of the conditions connected with paranoia benefit from medicines, afaik... talk alone probably won't resolve.

when my current therapist, the one that I can trust more, told me that I was just being paranoid, I was like oh thank goodness it was just me. If the world knew, i'd be screwed. then again, they can't be too judgmental themselves since they themselves have addictions or nasty habits that they've been meaning to get rid of. Maybe. Everyone has something to hide. I believe that's true for everyone.

growlithing · Jun 21, 2013 at 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heyitsme7

i told the school therapist about it. I was like what about the dark circles around my eyes? it seems as though everyone knew that I was watching porn yesterday because they keep looking at me. As soon as i walk behind or approach someone, they just turn around and look at me. it's like they're being paranoid or something.

I am paranoid too because i think that all that staring is stemming from my porn problem. then my counselor reassured me that nobody knows your secret activity. i was like whew! but it's hard because after watching porn, you feel like once you walk out of your house, those guys will glance up or stare at me, and most of the time they're not even aware of that because when you ask them that they look befuddled and everything.
Maybe the need to cover up is probably why I am so afraid of "getting caught".

Porn can cause dark circles under your eyes.... if you watch it all night instead of sleeping.

You absolutely need to talk to a therapist or psychologist. No one can sense that you watched porn, and on top of that, probably none of the people who were looking at you care if you watched porn or not. But you really really need to talk to a professional. Something is definitely going on to make you so anxious about this.

Jun 21, 2013 at 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

So your school counselor is a complete moron. When a psychotic person approaches a school counselor with your kind of ideation, the school counselor should make a medical referral. The school counselor should realize that there is no point in trying to "reassure" you that nobody knows your secret activity. There is also no point in trying to "reassure" everybody who believes that he is Jesus Christ by saying that no, they are simply John Doe's and not Jesus Christ. That is what antipsychotics are for. Sometimes "reassurance" does not work and you do need antipsychotics. Or perhaps a combination of reassurance and antipsychotics, but not just reassurance.

When will you become old enough to schedule your own psych intake?

Okay, first, let's not call him a moron. I just so happen to like talking to him.
I told him that I was masturbating and porning and he just started to explain a bunch of stuff, which I can't quite remember since I'm a visual learner, not an audio learner. He goes on and on and I only caught the ones that I needed to hear of, or rather, the ones that I felt were the most relevant.

Jun 21, 2013 at 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Well that part - about reading the signals sent to you by others around you - may be fixable via skills training/therapy. That part does not call for medication, per se.

I think it's because of the fact htat I want to cover up for my actions. Like before I go every morning, I would feel dirty and everything and then i would wash the area where the seminal fluids had been discharged. Hope you're not grossed out, but i will be very honest with you. then I try to wash my face and examine any "telltale" signs so that if others think i look clean, then they will assume that this guy cannot be addicted to any porn or other stuff.

hamster-bamster · Jun 21, 2013 at 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heyitsme7

i blame my porn as a result of my failure to analyze situations carefully. Others go more in depth and i'm just being direct. when someone has a better answer than i do in literature, i feel like i'm not meeting up to their standards and I'm just like maybe it's my porn habit that's ruining my brain.

OK, good you "met" me on here since I do not watch porn and I do have a documented deficit with analytical thinking (documented via IQ testing by a neuropsychologist) - I tend towards the concrete side of things. It is possible to work on becoming more analytical, and I am doing that, but the point remains that one can be insufficiently analytical while not watching any porn.

In other words, there is absolutely no relationship between A and B so you need to chill about that. That you identified being too concrete is actually GREAT NEWS because your next lucky step might then be to see that you took all those admonitions - be chaste, be pure! - literally, concretely, and at face value. That seems to be the cause of your suffering. If indeed that is all - just a large scale failure to apply any sort of analytical thinking to your situation - then perhaps you can get away without antipsychotics. At any rate, great job picking up on that in school.

Jun 21, 2013 at 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by growlithing

Porn can cause dark circles under your eyes.... if you watch it all night instead of sleeping.

You absolutely need to talk to a therapist or psychologist. No one can sense that you watched porn, and on top of that, probably none of the people who were looking at you care if you watched porn or not. But you really really need to talk to a professional. Something is definitely going on to make you so anxious about this.

not all night, just maybe a few minutes of it. However, I do spend a lot of my time on forums, like this one and another one suitable for my age.

growlithing · Jun 21, 2013 at 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heyitsme7

i blame my porn as a result of my failure to analyze situations carefully. Others go more in depth and i'm just being direct. when someone has a better answer than i do in literature, i feel like i'm not meeting up to their standards and I'm just like maybe it's my porn habit that's ruining my brain.

That's not possible. Porn is only a visual stimuli just like looking at a painting. If you stare at a computer screen for an extremely long time, you could hurt your eyes or something. But I promise you that porn is not affecting your brain. However, your guilt from watching porn might be.

Jun 21, 2013 at 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

OK, good you "met" me on here since I do not watch porn and I do have a documented deficit with analytical thinking (documented via IQ testing by a neuropsychologist) - I tend towards the concrete side of things. It is possible to work on becoming more analytical, and I am doing that, but the point remains that one can be insufficiently analytical while not watching any porn.

In other words, there is absolutely no relationship between A and B so you need to chill about that. That you identified being too concrete is actually GREAT NEWS because your next lucky step might then be to see that you took all those admonitions - be chaste, be pure! - literally, concretely, and at face value. That seems to be the cause of your suffering. If indeed that is all - just a large scale failure to apply any sort of analytical thinking to your situation - then perhaps you can get away without antipsychotics. At any rate, great job picking up on that in school.

thank you for making a dummy like me feel better. I don't know anything about this stuff. HOw do you guys know all htis? what classes did you guys take? or is it just common sense altogether?

Jun 21, 2013 at 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

OK, good you "met" me on here since I do not watch porn and I do have a documented deficit with analytical thinking (documented via IQ testing by a neuropsychologist) - I tend towards the concrete side of things. It is possible to work on becoming more analytical, and I am doing that, but the point remains that one can be insufficiently analytical while not watching any porn.

In other words, there is absolutely no relationship between A and B so you need to chill about that. That you identified being too concrete is actually GREAT NEWS because your next lucky step might then be to see that you took all those admonitions - be chaste, be pure! - literally, concretely, and at face value. That seems to be the cause of your suffering. If indeed that is all - just a large scale failure to apply any sort of analytical thinking to your situation - then perhaps you can get away without antipsychotics. At any rate, great job picking up on that in school.

but i can never be "pure" because of seminal discharge. Luckily i'm doing it on my own. I feel like most of my time porn needs to be accompanied by masturbation. I have not gone without masturbation on any of the porn that I have watched.

I feel like porn makes me want to have sex with someone. but i prefer masturbation as an alternative. I am not an addict, just an occasional voyeur.

growlithing · Jun 21, 2013 at 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heyitsme7

not all night, just maybe a few minutes of it. However, I do spend a lot of my time on forums, like this one and another one suitable for my age.

I wouldn't classify watching a few minutes of porn every day as a porn habit or even an addiction. Tons of people watch a lot more than that (me included) and have no problems. The issue is your feelings surrounding the fact that you watch porn.

And you're 17. How is this site not age appropriate for you?

growlithing · Jun 21, 2013 at 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heyitsme7

but i can never be "pure" because of seminal discharge. Luckily i'm doing it on my own. I feel like most of my time porn needs to be accompanied by masturbation. I have not gone without masturbation on any of the porn that I have watched.

I feel like porn makes me want to have sex with someone. but i prefer masturbation as an alternative. I am not an addict, just an occasional voyeur.

That's kinda the point of porn... what is so great about being "pure"? And no post pubescent boy can control seminal discharge or sexual urges. Does that make all men "dirty"?

Jun 21, 2013 at 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by growlithing

I wouldn't classify watching a few minutes of porn every day as a porn habit or even an addiction. Tons of people watch a lot more than that (me included) and have no problems. The issue is your feelings surrounding the fact that you watch porn.

And you're 17. How is this site not age appropriate for you?

This site or porn sites? I mean, yeah i guess being a teenager it's a time of experimentation with drugs, alcohol and basically challenging every rule there is to be challenged set out by authorities. I learned this part while I was reading psychology books about it. Since both my cousins have studied in this field, I was like why not? and it's intriguing how i used to think that therapy is all about couches, therapists, and clients. So I checked out books on psychology. Boy, that sure changed some of my views a bit. Anyway, I'll digress.
But I don't go that far--just porn and masturbation. I have nothing to hide, honestly. I am so ready to come clean, and if i have told my therapist at school about this, do you think they might keep this private because in the future I don't want to be known or looked down by employers who think that my behavior is all bad and won't hire me. I fear for my reputation too.

Jun 21, 2013 at 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by growlithing

That's kinda the point of porn... what is so great about being "pure"? And no post pubescent boy can control seminal discharge or sexual urges. Does that make all men "dirty"?

wouldn't it be better if I didn't do both at the same time? But noo, I have to have both....

it's easy to masturbate without porn than it is to watch porn and not masturbate at all.

Mapleton · Jun 21, 2013 at 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heyitsme7

but i can never be "pure" because of seminal discharge. Luckily i'm doing it on my own. I feel like most of my time porn needs to be accompanied by masturbation. I have not gone without masturbation on any of the porn that I have watched.

I feel like porn makes me want to have sex with someone. but i prefer masturbation as an alternative. I am not an addict, just an occasional voyeur.

1. Porn without masturbation/orgasm is basically pointless, for anyone.

2. You know you've been saying you've been addicted for a long time, right?

3. Note the bit about the precious bodily fluids. This guy needs a psychiatrist too...

Jun 21, 2013 at 09:11 PM

I also feel like because I have been given all the facts, like porn is normal for a teenager, that kind of motivates me to not want to control my behavior at all costs. It's basically setting myself up for an addiction.
If someone told me that it was wrong and that it had adverse effects even though it may be a lie, I will try to keep it in check

Jun 21, 2013 at 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mapleton

1. Porn without masturbation/orgasm is basically pointless, for anyone.

2. You know you've been saying you've been addicted for a long time, right?

3. Note the bit about the precious bodily fluids. This guy needs a psychiatrist too...

I have not seen the video, but there are religious people who will say masturbation is filthy and some will say it's okay. the liberals are more down-to-earth than the ones who say it's not. It's like their beliefs have been imprinted from early on and it just cannot be fixed.

hamster-bamster · Jun 21, 2013 at 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heyitsme7

Okay, first, let's not call him a moron. I just so happen to like talking to him.
I told him that I was masturbating and porning and he just started to explain a bunch of stuff, which I can't quite remember since I'm a visual learner, not an audio learner. He goes on and on and I only caught the ones that I needed to hear of, or rather, the ones that I felt were the most relevant.

Again, he seems to be applying psycho-educational interventions to a person whose degree of touch with reality has not yet been determined. I won't then call him a moron, but rather call him "a person who applies psycho-educational approaches in situations that call for more than psycho-educational approaches".

Since you do like him, though, it could be that his psycho-educational intervention MIGHT help you - so it is then on YOU tell HIM that you are a visual learner and have trouble with the audio part of his talks.

hamster-bamster · Jun 21, 2013 at 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by growlithing

If you stare at a computer screen for an extremely long time, you could hurt your eyes or something.

or die from embolism.

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Anonymous32433 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 21, 2013 at 09:11 PM #117 I also feel like because I have been given all the facts, like porn is normal for a teenager, that kind of motivates me to not want to control my behavior at all costs. It's basically setting myself up for an addiction. If someone told me that it was wrong and that it had adverse effects even though it may be a lie, I will try to keep it in check
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