 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
Jun 17, 2013 at 07:32 PM
#1
My ex-h is begging me for sex and he's getting really quite pathetic about it. Tryng all sorts of guilt trips. My problem is if I get too close to him, his smell is arousing and I'm really incapable of saying "no"
Any suggestions? Keeping away is not possible as my 2 daughters live with him. |
 Reply With Quote
|
 Anonymous200777
|
|
Crowned "The Good Witch"
Member Since Jun 2009
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 11,535
(SuperPoster!)
14 1,318 hugs
given 
|
Jun 17, 2013 at 07:58 PM
#2
Self-control is really the only solution. Your ex is your ex for a reason, and he's only trying to use you for sex, he's in no way trying to get back together.
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
 bighands
|
|
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
(SuperPoster!)
11 4,168 hugs
given
|
Jun 17, 2013 at 10:04 PM
#3
Don't get close enough to smell him. How long have you, two, been divorced?
How will you move on, past your divorce, if you don't stop sleeping with him? No, works. As does, telling him, that if you never have sex again, it wouldn't bother you. He's manipulating by begging. Hang in there, and just resist the urge!! |
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
Jun 17, 2013 at 10:52 PM
#4
Wow, I think I would really have a hard time with this myself. Great advice though. I guess since sex with your partner is so familiar, it seems like it would be hard to quit cold turkey. But at the same time, to move on it must be done. Rock: Meet Hard Place. I hope you can get through this my friend. (((Bipolarartist)))
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Account Suspended
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 14,805
(SuperPoster!)
12 3,729 hugs
given
|
Jun 17, 2013 at 11:49 PM
#5
Quote:
My first H wanted to keep a sexual r/s just not be married in traditional terms (it was indeed a premature marriage in our early 20s). I did not go along and just had him move out and live with a roommate when such an opportunity arose - a guy friend was looking for a roommate. In hindsight, I am not sure I did the right thing. Maybe yes, maybe no. In other words, for you to say "no", there should be some kind of harm to you from having sex with him - what is the harm, in your opinion? |
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
Jun 17, 2013 at 11:51 PM
#6
Quote:
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
bighands
|
|
Account Suspended
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 14,805
(SuperPoster!)
12 3,729 hugs
given
|
Jun 17, 2013 at 11:55 PM
#7
Quote:
That you have an adequate sex life atm means that you do not NEED to have sex with him, but it still does not answer the question as to whether it would cause you harm to continue having sex with him. |
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
Jun 19, 2013 at 03:45 AM
#8
What do you mean by "harm"?
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Member
Member Since Mar 2012
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 304
12 43 hugs
given |
Jun 19, 2013 at 11:03 AM
#9
Quote:
You're doing the right things by refraining to help him move on. He's the father of your girls and it's normal and kind of you to not make this any more complicated than is necessary for you and everyone else involved. Good for you. Stay the course. |
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 1,275
11 388 hugs
given
|
Jun 19, 2013 at 12:12 PM
#10
When you say harm, I think STD's , pregnancy etc. All of the negatives associated with sex.
Giving mixed singnals may keep him thinking there is a chance to reconcile. That is troublesome when you are trying to move on. Especially when there is a new man in the picture. I know I would be furious if an ex husband of my significant other's showed up at my house professing his love, or was constantly trying to have sex with my significant other. I think it would make your life more complicated and dramatic. __________________ "Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." |
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Upwards and Onwards!
Member Since Mar 2010
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 7,878
14 309 hugs
given
|
Jun 20, 2013 at 06:06 AM
#11
It's also very difficult psychologically to let go if you keep having sex with him, because the bond between you never gets totally severed
__________________ "I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn |
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Account Suspended
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 14,805
(SuperPoster!)
12 3,729 hugs
given
|
Jun 20, 2013 at 04:21 PM
#12
Harm meant any bad outcome. Bad for you and per your definition of what bad is.
Adam suggested that stds, pregnancy, and drama might be bad, but only you can decide what is bad in your case. |
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
