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#21
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#22
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Mapleton
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#23
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The only thing you could do wrong is not try to get someone else to help you (if that's a logistical possibility,) when you have the option to do so. You seem troubled, and are reaching out for help. A forum is great, but its no substitute for professional help. No one needs to feel personal shame the way you are right now. |
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hamster-bamster
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#24
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#25
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There are many issues with these programs, though, and the issues loom large and, in my opinion, more than cancel out the "free" part of the offer. These programs inculcate powerlessness as one of their first and obligatory steps. These programs also have no or little evidentiary proof. In other words, just because somebody attends the program does not make the program effective. Moreover, since I have seen people frequent AA meetings year in and year out without any changes, it seems that the AA is notoriously ineffective (unless it is the case that people attend meetings seeking socialization only). I have also heard one PhD psychologist say that the rate of effectiveness of AA is equal to that of a placebo - in other words, if you try to quit alcohol completely on your own, without any sort of support, you would be just as likely to quit as you would be signing up for programs. The (lack of) effectiveness of AA does not automatically render SA ineffective since the rate of effectiveness of each flavor of a 12-step program should be evaluated separately. The general notion remains though - the programs teach you to be powerless. Professional psychotherapy is, at least ideally, quite distinct because it does NOT teach you to be powerless. That is a huge difference. |
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healingme4me
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#26
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That's the thing, about being on a psyche board. In therapy, it's taught that feelings aren't about being right or wrong. It's hard, starting high school, as the new person, I know, I was moved around a few times in my lifetime. I went from 7th grade to 8th grade in different states. Then in 10th grade I transferred to a new city, altogether. It's hard not having all those social bonds that others form through the years of growing up together. Even the parents involved aren't as familiar with one another. My 4th grader, soon to be 5th grader, often talks about others, in terms of what grade they started his school. These others kids in your school, could very well have been out playing sports together since they were kids. 5/6 year old kids. Society is difficult too, because some households have two parents working and others have one. And without the bonding over the years of time spent at various events together, how is so and so's parents even supposed to realize that maybe they could offer to have the new kid over to their home for dinner. And if you aren't reaching out to say, hey, let's hang out together, how would your IRL friends know that you may want to get out of the home? Do you use XBOX LIVE, at all?! It's been really fun to listen to my son, talk to his classmates!!! |
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healingme4me
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#27
I can come up with one thing that is wrong about this!
You are a Minor Child, according to the Legal Laws in the USA. It is illegal for someone under the age of 18 to go into these sites and view the content. Your parents could be in serious troubles. |
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#28
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#29
lots of teenagers have watched porn. I have asked them how i can quit porn but they seem to be just as confused as I am. They're kind of like, "oh, if it satisfies you, do it."
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#30
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You just repeat the that you have a problem with porn and a need for socializing. |
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#31
well is seeing a therapist enough? How can I be more social with my friends if they don't invite me out?
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#32
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You have to stop believing that people will do things for you and come to you all the time. That is highly unrealistic. YOU have to reach out to others. YOU have to invite your friends to go out and do things or YOU will be lonely. You cannot expect others to reach out to you. |
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#33
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LiteraryLark
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#34
Plan a day ahead of time, wait until they are free, or find other friends to hang out with.
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#35
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#36
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Let us look at what happened / transpired on the thread. healingme4me tried to help you. You asked for help and she tried to help you. She suggested video games. She also mentioned her son and his classmates, which made me assume that her son and his classmates enjoy video games. So... what did you do in response healingme4me's posts? Did you acknowledge her intention to help you? NO. Did you thank her? NO. Did you simply, neutrally state that you do not have video games? NO. You made a strong negative judgment of people who play video games (which implied a judgment of healingme4me's son and his classmates). healingme4me spent her time posting, trying to help you, and in response received what you wrote - that her son and his classmates are, in your opinion, much more spoiled than you are. So if this is how you interact IRL, no wonder your friends are too busy to hang out with you. And THAT, unlike your porn use, is hugely important for proper socialization. Did healingme4me ask for your opinion on how spoiled people who play video games are? If I tell you that it is not idiomatic per SWE (Standard Written English) to say "I don't consider myself to be that spoiled." - you should say, instead, "I don't consider myself that spoiled." - in the context of this thread which is NOT about how well you use SWE, would you welcome my comment? |
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#37
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hamster-bamster
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#38
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Why did you feel the need to say that you did not consider yourself spoiled? There was the option of saying, neutrally and factually, that you do not have video games. Left at that. But you said the part about not being spoiled. Why? |
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#39
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healingme4me
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#40
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I was suggesting video games, as a means to socialize with other people your own age. My son and his friends connect on this system, live, and have little party chats. I know for a fact, the high school kids in my town, do the same thing. As do the middle school kids. ((I used to work at the high school for three years, before I got the promotion where I work.)) fyi, it was his BDAY present. He could either get that system, or have a bday party. He chose the gaming system, that he'd asked for. He'd asked for 2-3 years before receiving it. After I saw, he was able to handle confrontation, on-line through another gaming site. My kids are little gamers, and I feel, considering some in my family are engineers, that this is a great skill to have. He's also, learned how to keyboard, and frankly, he has taught some of his teacher and classmates how to use a computer. Gaming is a great outlet for boys(and girls), in my opinion. Maybe, he'll grow up and become a programmer?? |
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