Your ultimate fantasy/partner

LiteraryLark · Jun 24, 2013 at 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArmyGirl

Does tying someone up and blindfolding them count as domination? Or using a leather whip?

Yes, but it doesn't necessarily meant it's BDSM. There are many people who use ropes and blindfolds and paddles but do not practice BDSM. That's more getting kinky in a vanilla sense. Vanilla meaning not into BDSM or into "normal" or "boring" sex.

UnderTheRose · Jun 24, 2013 at 08:53 PM

i'm always open to IM's
Tying them up and blindfolding might be something done between a D/S... but it could also include a simple servitude between the Submissive and her/his Dom/me . The submissive needing to serve the dom, the need to serve as part of his/her own pleasure. Being controlled. Not having to think for oneself... *bliss*.. would be so nice.

LiteraryLark · Jun 24, 2013 at 08:58 PM

I am a fetlife user and from what I've read it's not an easy thing at all. It's not just about not having to think for yourself. It's pretty complicated and I think it takes very special people to make a meaningful relationship out of it, but for some, they just want to be ordered around and whipped, nothing meaningful just pure discipline.

adam_k · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:03 PM

My new fantasy is to have sex with a french woman in white lingerie as she whispers French in my ear.

UnderTheRose · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:03 PM

i'm not really a pain s*** ... for me it would be more of a day to day thing and go far past the punishment 'ooh ive been a bad girl' crap.
Truthfully i would imagine being a f/t dom/me to be amazingly difficult. I worked for a domme for awhile and she had to constantly take her sub's emotional and physical needs into consideration. Sure he kneeled down to her each day he came home, serviced her as she required but like many subs, needed constant reminders of his importance etc. Subs can be a fragile lot.

LiteraryLark · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:09 PM

Subs are very fragile. They need constant attention, but doms need to be taken care of too. These relationships can become very intense very quickly, so that's why they are so hard to maintain. Boundaries can be pushed without realizing it and can easily ruin a scene.

Personally, I cannot take pain at all. Even as a joke my best friend started whacking me with my riding crop and it freaked me out seeing her raise my own tool against me, this was over a year ago and it still makes me nervous.

Maybe when I am more confident I will share about my fantasies again, I've been dying for an excuse to take photos again.

Poppy Princess · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:12 PM

Oh okay. We do that. I guess it's still boring sex though Haha.

UnderTheRose · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArmyGirl

Oh okay. We do that. I guess it's still boring sex though Haha.

Not boring at all

Dr.-I agree, both have intense needs, if they did not, they would not be in such an intense relationship.

LiteraryLark · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:17 PM

Yeah, most relationships have a dom/sub, even if it isn't kinky. Usually the man is the dom and the woman is the sub, but that's not always the case. And to spice things up couples will try kinky things like using toys or paddles or roleplaying, but BDSM is more of a lifestyle people live all the time.

Poppy Princess · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:20 PM

Interesting. I would say I'm more submissive.

LiteraryLark · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:24 PM

To be honest I see myself as submissive, but that I need to be in control during sex. My counselor and I are going to work on my fear of sex and hopefully I'll be more confident in sex.

Poppy Princess · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:26 PM

Wow, I wouldn't have put you down as someone who's afraid of sex.

LiteraryLark · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:30 PM

I'm actually a virgin, to be honest. I picture my first time as one of my worst experiences, being painful and traumatic and involves me crying. I'm hoping counseling will change this thinking.

UnderTheRose · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:30 PM

A remembered safe word does indeed offer some control

(as does a hidden 2x4 just in case)

LiteraryLark · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:32 PM

Although, I am my best sex partner. I've done things with myself while masturbating that my best friend would never do with a boyfriend. I'm very confident in myself as a sex partner. But introducing an outsider to my body seems scary to me.

LiteraryLark · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TreeintheWind

A remembered safe word does indeed offer some control

(as does a hidden 2x4 just in case)

hahaha

Since I fantasize about being dominant to another male, I always picture myself giving him the safe word, I've never thought about giving myself a safe word.

UnderTheRose · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:39 PM

i know i was fully disappointed by my first time.. though i was 13 , neither of us knew that much.

Poppy Princess · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:43 PM

A safe word is hard to have when you're tied up and gagged. I never thought about it.

LiteraryLark · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TreeintheWind

i know i was fully disappointed by my first time.. though i was 13 , neither of us knew that much.

My biggest fears is him breaking up with me afterward, abandonment. I know it's normal for people to have more than one partner, but I can't wrap my head around it. I just want a really meaningful relationship established before I have sex. I am also worried that my fantasies are too large to really fulfill. Not just my kinky fantasies, just my expectations of how sex should go. Like, first we get naked, preferably in the shower. But I think if he were to wrap his body around me I'd freak out that his junk is touching me. It's just too scary to think about right now. Let's just stick to fantasies.

adam_k · Jun 24, 2013 at 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrSkipper

I'm actually a virgin, to be honest. I picture my first time as one of my worst experiences, being painful and traumatic and involves me crying. I'm hoping counseling will change this thinking.

I can't see it. I think when you meet the right guy things will click and you will feel comfortable. I remember my first time felt akward and I didn't really now what to do. You get more comfortable the more you do it.

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UnderTheRose Member Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Earth Posts: 258 10 85 hugs given	Jun 24, 2013 at 08:53 PM #82 i'm always open to IM's Tying them up and blindfolding might be something done between a D/S... but it could also include a simple servitude between the Submissive and her/his Dom/me . The submissive needing to serve the dom, the need to serve as part of his/her own pleasure. Being controlled. Not having to think for oneself... bliss.. would be so nice.
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LiteraryLark Crowned "The Good Witch" Member Since Jun 2009 Location: Wonderland Posts: 11,535 (SuperPoster!) 14 1,318 hugs given	Jun 24, 2013 at 08:58 PM #83 I am a fetlife user and from what I've read it's not an easy thing at all. It's not just about not having to think for yourself. It's pretty complicated and I think it takes very special people to make a meaningful relationship out of it, but for some, they just want to be ordered around and whipped, nothing meaningful just pure discipline.
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adam_k Poohbah Member Since Jan 2013 Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 1,275 11 388 hugs given	Jun 24, 2013 at 09:03 PM #84 My new fantasy is to have sex with a french woman in white lingerie as she whispers French in my ear. __________________ "Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy."
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Poppy Princess Account Suspended Member Since Apr 2013 Location: Salem, N.H. Posts: 1,400 11 157 hugs given	Jun 24, 2013 at 09:12 PM #87 Oh okay. We do that. I guess it's still boring sex though Haha.
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LiteraryLark Crowned "The Good Witch" Member Since Jun 2009 Location: Wonderland Posts: 11,535 (SuperPoster!) 14 1,318 hugs given	Jun 24, 2013 at 09:17 PM #89 Yeah, most relationships have a dom/sub, even if it isn't kinky. Usually the man is the dom and the woman is the sub, but that's not always the case. And to spice things up couples will try kinky things like using toys or paddles or roleplaying, but BDSM is more of a lifestyle people live all the time.
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Poppy Princess Account Suspended Member Since Apr 2013 Location: Salem, N.H. Posts: 1,400 11 157 hugs given	Jun 24, 2013 at 09:20 PM #90 Interesting. I would say I'm more submissive.
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LiteraryLark Crowned "The Good Witch" Member Since Jun 2009 Location: Wonderland Posts: 11,535 (SuperPoster!) 14 1,318 hugs given	Jun 24, 2013 at 09:24 PM #91 To be honest I see myself as submissive, but that I need to be in control during sex. My counselor and I are going to work on my fear of sex and hopefully I'll be more confident in sex.
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Poppy Princess Account Suspended Member Since Apr 2013 Location: Salem, N.H. Posts: 1,400 11 157 hugs given	Jun 24, 2013 at 09:26 PM #92 Wow, I wouldn't have put you down as someone who's afraid of sex.
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LiteraryLark Crowned "The Good Witch" Member Since Jun 2009 Location: Wonderland Posts: 11,535 (SuperPoster!) 14 1,318 hugs given	Jun 24, 2013 at 09:30 PM #93 I'm actually a virgin, to be honest. I picture my first time as one of my worst experiences, being painful and traumatic and involves me crying. I'm hoping counseling will change this thinking.
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UnderTheRose Member Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Earth Posts: 258 10 85 hugs given	Jun 24, 2013 at 09:30 PM #94 A remembered safe word does indeed offer some control (as does a hidden 2x4 just in case)
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LiteraryLark Crowned "The Good Witch" Member Since Jun 2009 Location: Wonderland Posts: 11,535 (SuperPoster!) 14 1,318 hugs given	Jun 24, 2013 at 09:32 PM #95 Although, I am my best sex partner. I've done things with myself while masturbating that my best friend would never do with a boyfriend. I'm very confident in myself as a sex partner. But introducing an outsider to my body seems scary to me.
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UnderTheRose Member Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Earth Posts: 258 10 85 hugs given	Jun 24, 2013 at 09:39 PM #97 i know i was fully disappointed by my first time.. though i was 13 , neither of us knew that much.
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Poppy Princess Account Suspended Member Since Apr 2013 Location: Salem, N.H. Posts: 1,400 11 157 hugs given	Jun 24, 2013 at 09:43 PM #98 A safe word is hard to have when you're tied up and gagged. I never thought about it.
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