Single ticket please

I'm 20 and have never had a boyfriend. I dated a lot, but never had a boyfriend. I have a "monthly trial" to see if this guy is worth being in a relationship, but I've never dated anyone longer than a little over a month. It's not that big of a deal for me, but I am wishing I could be sexually active.

Erm are you referring to the same guy as in chat? I.e. The one already in a relationship?

ahh yeah..

I am not exactly sure I am able to grasp the problem. You are saying that you are too shy and for this reason never told anybody about your feelings for this guy except for your friend and that specifically you never told your parents.

But why would you tell them anyway? What is the purpose of telling them? I in general do not tell anybody about guys unless there is already something ongoing between the guy at issue and me, and even then not necessarily, not because I am shy - I am not - but because there is no point. I can see how you might feel embarrassed to tell the guy, sure (and if he in a relationship, and you are embarrassed and shy, then altogether it does not seem to be an easily solvable problem), and that is indeed difficult; but telling third parties - what for?

This whole thing confuses me.
No. It is not lame to not have a boyfriend. In fact, the longer you can put it off, the better, and you'll understand why as soon as you find one. (This goes for relationships in general, not just boys.)
They're work. It's not just all fun and roses and dinners and being able to parade them around for your friends. They're people. They're lovely. They're beautiful. They're responsive. If you're lucky and got yourself a good one, they're kind, generous, respectful, like you for who you are, don't try to change you or fix all your problems for you. They also are inevitably frustrating. Their habits will grind on you. You will be annoyed when they don't return your calls/texts/emails within 3.3 seconds. You will catch them checking out someone else and wonder if they'd rather be elsewhere.
Not saying this all will happen. But they're common things.
Why is it lame to not be in a relationship? What is it that you think you will gain by being in one?
When I liked someone, I told them. I always made the first move. I got rejected a lot. And I also didn't. But I don't have a life of 'what if?'s lying in a wake behind me. If you want something in life, go for it. But be clear on your motives. Always act with intention.

I understand where you're coming from Rainbows. I'm much the same way, in that I meet people, admire them, and am too shy to do anything about it, be it to express interest or to try to sway the relationship from anything but friends. lol Frankly, it sucks.

But it's not a bad thing or a failure or anything like that at all. It's just part of your personality, is all, and not necessarily a bad thing. My only advice in regards to shyness is to not let yourself be so shy that you let good opportunities go by.