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Newly Joined
Member Since Jun 2013
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Jun 29, 2013 at 06:36 PM
#1
My grand-daughter hears her mother moaning while she and her boyfriend are having sex. My grand-daughter is told to watch her baby sister in the other room
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Jun 29, 2013 at 08:51 PM
#2
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 kindachaotic, lynn P.
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Jun 29, 2013 at 09:07 PM
#3
I agree its not okay for her to be responsible for her baby sister while her mother's in the other room having sex. They should be polite and be discreet.
__________________  This is our little cutie Bella  *Practice on-line safety. *Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts. *Make your mess, your message. *"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi) |
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hamster-bamster
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Jun 29, 2013 at 10:31 PM
#4
I agree, all answers will vary.
I think it's only appropriate to have sex while she is sleeping, not while she is awake. But that is just me from having to listen to my parents having sex, even when it was my bedtime (technically since I still live with them I still hear them. -_-) |
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 Harley47
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Poohbah
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Jun 29, 2013 at 10:48 PM
#5
I don't think it is ok. I think it would cause some psychological issues and Maybe some difficulties for the grandaughter when she starts to learn about sex. Unless the daughter is 18. Then she can understand what is going on and has the option to leave.
__________________ "Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA
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Jun 30, 2013 at 11:51 AM
#6
Ouch.
 Hugs to ya Doc. Anyway, the parents should have the common sense to be discreet. The child has no idea what is going on, and possibly could be a fear inducing event ("What is happening to mommy?" sort of thing). They should have the decency to wait until the child is at least asleep, and even then, be quiet. Furthermore, the child shouldn't have to watch her baby sister so her parents can take a break to have sex. That's just...wrong. :/ __________________ The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte |
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Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2010
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Jul 01, 2013 at 06:10 AM
#7
I think it's absolutely not okay. I think it's disgusting. My mother used to leave her bedroom door open at night and I could not only hear but lie there and watch her having sex with her boyfriend. As the above person said it can be fear inducing, because at first when I was only hearing it I had no idea what was going on and thought something was wrong (it's probably funny now, but at the time I was terrified), but once I had worked out exactly what they were doing it repulsed me. I would wake up at 3-4am and have to lie there blocking my ears for half an hour so I wouldn't have to listen then, then I couldn't sleep afterwards because of what I knew they'd just done. Once they were doing it at around 6:30am and I was freaking out the whole time because I had to get up for school soon and was worrying my alarm would go off while they were in the middle of it (while both our doors were open).
Over 15 years later it still makes me sick. |
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| hamster-bamster, Harley47, lynn P.
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Jul 01, 2013 at 02:03 PM
#8
I don't think her hearing them having sex is a problem. What's more of a concern is her looking after her baby sister.
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Perpetually Pondering
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Jul 01, 2013 at 05:57 PM
#9
Is this boyfriend, the father of your granddaughters?
Can't they wait, until the kids are asleep? I get the occasional, sneaking into the other room for a little quickie, husbands and wives do that sometimes, but honest to goodness....go watch your baby sister, while my boyfriend and I have sex? And she's got to be loud about it?! Seriously, as a mom, when I had snuck into the other room with my then husband, it was about being discreet, if you know what I mean. Save the loudness for a weekend get away...ai yai yai!!! |
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gaia67
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Jul 01, 2013 at 07:35 PM
#10
I don't think it's healthy. A child cannot differentiate between moans of pleasure and moans of pain. Could be scary at the very least.
I also agree with lycanthrope. I mean what is she thinking... you watch your little sister while i **** my bf? |
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Infamous Vampire Duck
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Jul 02, 2013 at 01:49 PM
#11
I don't think it's a good idea.
As a parent who is recently divorced there is no way I would have sex and when my daughter might overhear it. Sleeping kids wake up in the middle of the night sometimes. It's a bit different when you are married and the parents of a child, you should still take measures to be discrete but they aren't always perfect. If that isn't the case you need to just do it when the kids aren't home. __________________ “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi |
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Jul 02, 2013 at 08:17 PM
#12
My daughter is 13 and I am very discreet with my partner. Of course, she knows we are in an intimate relationship ... but I'm the adult and healthy boundaries are important. My kiddo doesn't need to "hear mom" in bed, etc. We've talked about sex (basic facts, etc.) and she is not sexually active at all - but I just think it would be inappropriate and unfair to her if I wasn't mindful of timeliness for intimate moments with my partner. I'm divorced and live in much smaller quarters now (apartment) - so when my daughter is with me...sex with my partner isn't part of the equation during those times.
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| hamster-bamster
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hamster-bamster
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Jul 02, 2013 at 08:44 PM
#13
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With little children, sure, I had sex next to sleeping babies and toddlers in a family bed; they rarely woke up (children are usually not insomniacs), but on the very few occasions when the children woke up, my then H and I stopped having sex so that I could nurse the baby/child back to sleep, and then resume. It never caused any problems. But with preteens/teens? Also, and more importantly, how did YOU, the grandmother, come to learn of this? Were you present, on one occasion, alongside both girls while the couple was having sex? Or did the grand-daughter TELL you about hearing sex? Because if she TOLD you, then it answers the question - surely she must be feeling uncomfortable enough to share her discomfort with YOU. |
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Jul 04, 2013 at 06:21 AM
#14
Ultimately it depends on the ages of the grandchildren concerned, and the children concerned.
If one's 18 and the younger one is the sort of child who'd happily watch a tv program or play a cimputer game, and wouldn't even register a bomb going off outside, then what's the harm? It's still not a perfect scenario admittedly. |
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hamster-bamster
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Jul 05, 2013 at 12:16 PM
#15
No i don't think it's appropriate. If she's quite young how is she to know what's going on, she may mistake the noise for a threat to their safety. If she's older what's being done to help her cope with being exposed to such occasions - i presume this isn't the first time she's dealt with this? What's the deal with her being left to look after a younger sister? If something happens and she needs her mother is she just supposed to walk in on them and ask?
At what time is this happening? Does the older girl also have to make her sister dinner and/or put her to bed? Age is an important issue here - if the eldest is an adult then really it's her decision on how to deal with the issue and you'll just have to try and support her as best you can but i agree that in either case it's not an ideal situation. I hope everything resolves for the best. |
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hamster-bamster
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Jul 10, 2013 at 04:43 PM
#16
I think we may all be wasting our time answering this thread
Last Activity: 30-06-13 00:57 Member Since: 30-06-13 They've not been back since the date they joined, and they only ever made a single post
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hamster-bamster
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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