[Veeda]

I have had issues with a disturbing fetish for as long as I can remember. I also have severe OCD which makes it more convoluted. The object in question is everywhere in society and my OCD causes extreme apprehension and questions of whether I am a bad persons or not...I hate feeling this way and hate the obsession as well but it becomes too powerful to avoid at times which causes more distress

[Dangerman]

May a ask what the object is?

[Veeda]

Being fully resuscitated with a defibrillator and oxygen mask either in the ER or OR both scenarios have haunted me for most of my life

[Dangerman]

Originally Posted by Veeda

Being fully resuscitated with a defibrillator and oxygen mask either in the ER or OR both scenarios have haunted me for most of my life

Please note I can only give my personal opinion.

I'm the last person in the world who could or for that matter would judge you (given the bizarre nature of one of my fetishes)

Yours is an unusual one and in all likelihood Impossible to act upon ( for real)

You say "it's haunted you" are you sure it's a fetish? And not a phobia?

If it is a fetish, what about experimenting with role play, there are lots of people with medical fetishes that I'm sure would like to act out that scene with you.

Obviously your OCD may cause some issues depending on how it affects you.

[Dangerman]

On a side note I notice your mood is "ashamed" please don't feel ashamed about talking about your desires and dreams.

[Veeda]

Thank you I appreciate that. I just really don't understand why I have been stuck dealing with these intrusive scenarios; most of my life actually. Ashamed to discuss it because of what others might say or think

[Veeda]

Originally Posted by Dangerman

Please note I can only give my personal opinion.

I'm the last person in the world who could or for that matter would judge you (given the bizarre nature of one of my fetishes)

Yours is an unusual one and in all likelihood Impossible to act upon ( for real)

You say "it's haunted you" are you sure it's a fetish? And not a phobia?

If it is a fetish, what about experimenting with role play, there are lots of people with medical fetishes that I'm sure would like to act out that scene with you.

Obviously your OCD may cause some issues depending on how it affects you.

It started as a phobia then curiosity and inadvertently became sexual used which reinforced the guilt and BDD as well as the OCD. I had joined an online group once that was centered on this topic and really that about role playing it as a way to maybe alleviate the intensity and frequency of these feelings

[Dangerman]

Originally Posted by Veeda

Thank you I appreciate that. I just really don't understand why I have been stuck dealing with these intrusive scenarios; most of my life actually. Ashamed to discuss it because of what others might say or think

Your anonymous here so that helps ( for me anyway)
Even with with that I've had bad experiences of people ridiculing me for my fetish (not on this site) but I tend to ignore them.

[Dangerman]

Originally Posted by Veeda

It started as a phobia then curiosity and inadvertently became sexual used which reinforced the guilt and BDD as well as the OCD. I had joined an online group once that was centered on this topic and really that about role playing it as a way to maybe alleviate the intensity and frequency of these feelings

Did that help?

[Veeda]

Originally Posted by Dangerman

Did that help?

It helped with knowing that I wasn't the only one who had similar thoughts. It it didn't help with the feelings of guilt or intensity of these feelings as it made me want to engage in actual role play type scenarios

[Dangerman]

Does role play not satisfy your desires?

[Veeda]

Originally Posted by Dangerman

Does role play not satisfy your desires?

Never had the opportunity to do so in person