Your views on fetishes and the BDSM lifestyle

Biting IS pretty hot.

I respect everyone, although I think there are people that try to blend in with the bdsm crowd who are not just fetishists or people into bdsm, but really wrong people who think they can disguise their wrongdoings mixing with the bdsm crowd...

I don't think there is anyone here who is into BDSM for the wrong reasons.

For me I am a sub. I experienced master/slave a little but have never found someone willing to be honest. All I find is vanilla on the promise of other things but they are vanilla through and through and can't help it so I get bored. My soul seems to call out for a Master and I have many fantasies and fetishes but this is the main thing I need to experience in trustworthy, capable, and experienced hands. I don't really know how to explain it...I'm a inexperienced lost sub I suppose. !!

oooo, poor dear

Angelic, i can totally relate. Totally. i am now in a virtual sub/dom relationship and it serves its purpose for the time being.

Soooooooooo,

My Therapist wants me to try and come to a better understanding of my own sexual fetishes. I suppose this is the thread to talk about that? If, not I apologize ahead of time.
I guess I've never really laid out my own preferences before. Here we go,

Well, first when I do look at pornography, I tend to look at a lot "furry" art. This most likely stems from the fact that I don't equate sexual interaction with human emotions, at least not positive ones. I see sex as little more than an animalistic urge, so it's not a stretch to imagine why I tend to gravitate towards this kind of pornography. What's odd is that when looking at furry stuff, I tend to look at images that are almost exclusively gay, when I'm not very sexually attracted to men in real life.

Then there's this pretty big fixation with submission and female domination that I've had for the last couple of years. Nothing as extreme as bdsm, just the idea of, I don't know, I guess you'd call it role reversal. Not too sure what to make of this one, but find I had to speculate, I suppose it might come from the fact that in my day-to-day life I'm not submissive at all. Maybe this fetish is a subconscious desire to be submissive in some way.

Well there's... two. I have others, but talking about this kind of stuff, even anonymously, takes a lot from me. So maybe more will come later...

I find it quite surprising that I've brought up BDSM and fetishes and both of the therapists I've told have been very open to it.

Everyone looks at different pornography. Furry is HUGELY popular amongst anime and comic-con lovers, if you go to deviant art there is usually Furry on the home page. For me, I love looking at yaoi/gay/man-on-man. I found that there is a huge following of yaoi/man-on-man by young women.

I'm also very submissive in real life but dominant sexually. That's a very common thing to pursue. People who have a lot of power tend to fantasize about being subdued while people who do not have a lot of power fantasize about being more dominant.

I love roleplay. We've done all kinds: torture scenes, interrogation scenes, we've even gone on actual dates in public in character (so much fun...we're going to do another one soon). I really enjoy pain. I had a first over the weekend: I went to my first play party! I LOVED it and I can't wait to go to more. In September we're going to a public bath house event hosted by the same organization. So excited for that. I find BDSM so exciting. It's the answer to everything I need. I find that my everyday life is intense, and incessant, and completely unpredictable. I get really bored with the tedium of it and wish I had more control over things. With BDSM I can just relax into a role and let the sensation take over. I can be the dominant one or the submissive one. My partner and I are really into pushing boundaries so I'm excited to enact some of the scenes we've been discussing over the last couple of days, since the play party.
It's funny...I'd only ever heard S&M before I met my partner, who I've now been with nearly two years. She introduced me to BDSM and I haven't looked back. And I don't know how I made it this far without it.

I strongly support everybody's right to do whatever they want in their own bedrooms. As long as everyone involved consents, and is of the age and mental capacity to be able to do so properly, I don't have an issue.

I do have some limitations on what *I* will do, however. BDSM is definitely not my bag. Not for moral issues, but plain old not enjoying it. I did try it, when I was younger, with my first husband. Just couldn't get into it, either as a dom or as a sub.

My husband and I do have a particular kink, but since I have called him by his actual first name in these forums, and his photo appears in my profile, I won't say what it is. I can't say it about me, without also saying it about him. He is very much in the closet about it, and I'm the only other person on the planet who knows what he's into. Even his closest friends don't know. I'll just say it's nothing illegal, nothing that would hurt anybody, and since it matters to both of us, nothing un-Christian. I'll also note that within that kink, he and I are both known as a "switch," which means we can play either role. So much fun. Actually, I don't see anything wrong with our chosen kink, and wouldn't have a problem saying what it is, but since my husband doesn't want it known, I'll respect his wishes.

My partner and I are both switches also, which makes it so much more exciting. Double the possibilities.

I find what I call a real fetish fascinating. Of course the first thing you have to get by is what is a fetish. A lot of people would call my interest in femdom, domination and submission and/or the clothing associated with activities in that realm a fetish but I don't. It is not a fetish for me just something I find hot and extremely arousing. Fetish as I think about it revolves around some type of paraphilic like behavior. Like someone who is obsessed with shoes as a fetish, where the object of the fetish sits in a special place and it lifelong. Also obsession at that level it is mostly a male phenomena. It is so interesting how these thing might form.

The best explanations I have heard which feel right revolve around something that happens very early in life which disposes someone to having a fetish then a memory, experience, or image gets incorporated into their psyche. That they have a fetish and what the fetish is are two different processes and don't necessarily happen at the same time.

I think fetish can be used more than one way.

For me, fetishes don't have to be life long because like sexuality, it should fluctuate over time.

Like my Nazi fetish. I've had it for over a year now and it has fluctuated quite a bit, and even though I'm quite enjoying myself, I have a feeling I'll be in a different place 5 years from now.

My pegging fetish? No idea how that will fluctuate, if at all. I've had these fantasies for several years, but this mostly has to do with my sexuality and wanting to be a man.

My domme side? Could possibly change if I have a safe partner I trust to hand over the reins and some therapy.

Mine are medical....I have a strong drive to be fully resuscitated....I know it's wrong and disgusting but this has been replayed over and over for as long as I can remember....it started in childhood and unfortunately has followed me ever since. I also have OCD which carries a high level of guilt and apprehension. To make it evern more distressing is when I have to be certified in COR and AED training....I get nauscious dizzy etc and then later on I fantasize about it....how can I get this to stop it's ruining my life. It it's one of those things you really don't tell too many people about

Apologies if I repeated this post. I have long suffered from a disturbing fetish/fantasy since I was a kid; medical fetishism. I think it started over an ill concerned doctor role play with someone I thought was my BF. I have this reoccurring desire to be fully resuscitated with all of the emergency room equipment used on me to save my life.
I apologize if this is disturbing it has eaten me up for years and has caused severe relationship issues due to my BDD and OCD that are involved. I remember when I was younger having to leave the room when someone was being defibrillated on tv because 1. It cause my anxiety level to go off the charts as my own heart would palpitations and 2. In a twisted way I would become aroused imagining that I was the patient being worked on.
Professional wise it becomes more strained when I have to be certified in cpr and Stef; I get nauseated and dizzy during such trainings only to later fantasizing myself in a scenario.
I have a theory that tv and the media may have propagated such scenes in a sexual what subliminally. The patient is vulnerable, their chest is bared (which has always been a BDD hang up of my own) in front of a group of people working to save them etc. again sorry if this is a trigger tesponse but I felt the need to get it out.
This fascination has overruled my better judgement on occasions as after I got divorced and was extremely lonely and vulnerable I joined s chat room that centered on this topic and I began to look into the possibility of engaging in edgeplay...somehow my thinking was if I hooked up with these people and acted out the scenario I may finally be freed from this heavy weight of an obessession that I have been carrying around all these years. I guess it would be my own sort of exposure therapy to diminish the intensity of these disturbing thoughts. however somehow I was able to regain my composure and restrain myself from going all in. That said that hasn't diminished the recurring intrusive thoughts over and over again.

First off, I don't believe in "kink-shaming". I believe everyone has a right to think that this or that is gross. It's opinion-based -- don't let someone's opinion make you feel bad for liking something. There isn't a second of all. That was all I had to say. XD

I like this definition of a fetish:
Also body parts are not really fetishes, originally not meant to be defined as such.

Wow! I can't believe this thread is still going after almost five years! :O

Veeda, what you described didn't seem weird to me at all. That seems like a fairly common element of sexual fantasy - sex and death, or sex between life and death. There's also that element of exposure and submission to others saving your life that I can understand.

Personally, I'm a woman who loves fantasizing about men being submissive. Not being beaten down or hit or anything like that (well maybe a little bit of pain), just tied down and exposed, usually in front of others. When I was a kid, there were some animated movies, like old weird Don Bluth movies, that showed scenes like a bird being tied up by a bunch of mice and hoisted up with a rope, and then stuck with a syringe in the back. I'm pretty sure that left an impression on me. I'm very shy and afraid of intimacy with men, but I LIVE off of men who show emotional vulnerability as well as physical, sexual vulnerability. I think it helps me to feel less threatened by men, if they're completely and utterly vulnerable.

I have lots of fetishes. What I call a fetish others may call a kink.
I can have sex without incorporating these fetishes but much prefer it if I do.
Some of my fetishes do not require having sex or masturbation to be fulfilled by it.

My fetishes in order of importance to me.
Gloves (particularly rubber)
Crash fetish (dressed in specific motorcycle gear)
Gas masks
**** sex (with or without scat)
Water sports (squirting)
Some bondage
High boots (on women)
Wellies

I enjoy some aspects of BDSM with my partner but we are in no way part of the "lifestyle" nor are we ever likely to be.