FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 177
7 |
#1
Is anybody here in an open marriage? I've become fascinated with the concept of open marriages. If I ever do get married again (unlikely) I want it to be an open marriage. I was married for 20 years and we literally only had sex about 10 times. I'm not going through that again.
I've realized that I'm turned on by women in open marriages. Somehow it's a heady combination of domesticity and sexiness. I think there's a sort of swinger / open-marriage underground all around me. Well... all around everywhere, really. The one person I've known who is in that scene has tacitly declined to introduce me into it. I understand that but I still want to find a way into the underground. I’ve had no luck with Adult Friend Finder. I’m going to try some more traditional dating sites. I’m basically a decent guy with this particularfetish (about which I'm not ashamed at all). Any advice? |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
10 77 hugs
given |
#2
Yes you need to get on FetLife for this discussion. You'll find what you're looking for there.
You'll need to educate yourself on what an open marriage is bec it's not just sleeping around. Most are in a poly relationships which has rules, dimensions & boundaries, but there are marriages of swingers which is totally different. FetLife has a great deal to read on these subjects. I'm always being updated on what I thought I knew...& what I now understand. It makes a big difference. And if you're not educated many will not vet you into the Community. You'll also find a lot of people into your fetishes, your local munch group that may have connections for you being around like minded people. Good luck! __________________ "Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 177
7 |
#3
I've had limited success on Fetlife. I've met some nice people who live far away, but not much locally. Still, maybe I'll try to get a little more involved. Thanks!
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
10 77 hugs
given |
#4
Have you tried a munch? And if your turned on by women in open marriages are you looking to cuckhold.
__________________ "Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 177
7 |
#5
I've been to a couple of BDSM munches. They were nice people but I just didn't feel a connection. I've also been to a polyamory group and enjoyed it. Unfortunately my work schedule gets in the way of attending more meetings.
lt's been my observation that people in the organized open community are very into vocabulary and categorization. Indeed, these can become the subjects of heated debates. I assure you that as a database programmer I like definitions and categorizations too, but it seems to me that these issues sometimes become walls instead of bridges. I suspect that the "underground" I talk about isn't so organized or open. I feel certain that there are couples all around me that just enjoy having extramarital fun and aren't interested in organizing into a group. That’s really the underground I want to find. |
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 177
7 |
#6
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
10 77 hugs
given |
#7
I hope you find it then. What you're looking for.
Yes I agree there are those out there that are very much into vocabulary. I've been blackballed in my community bec of my choices. Some boast about being so accepting....yet they are not. Good luck! __________________ "Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 177
7 |
#8
|
Reply With Quote |
Patagonia
|
Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2012
Posts: 1,075
11 |
#9
I'm hardly on fet due to my work schedule. I've met interesting people as far as what I've been looking for not successful the women are so owned I have no time to go through their male dominants.
I love the discussions I stay away from the politics. I've been to the poly meetings in the lifestyle |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
10 77 hugs
given |
#10
I feel that FetLife is like any other social media site. There's always people there that we don't like or don't agree with & everyone has a different idea of what bdsm means to them.
I've run into issues w/ men bashing me to the point that I can't put where I'm from & then the trolls that leave ugly comments on my pics. So it's hard to weed out the crap. I do enjoy the discussions & the information. I've learned a great deal there from actual people instead of researching topics on my own. I have heard of a site I think it's called collarme where they try to match fetishes to other people. I'm not sure if that is the correct name & I haven't been to the site, but I hope you find something that helps!! __________________ "Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
Reply With Quote |
New Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: Salisbury, MD
Posts: 5
6 |
#11
The site is now called colllarspace, and it, like most dating sites, is full of trolls and phishers. Trolls for the females and phishers for the males.
|
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 61
7 28 hugs
given |
#12
You could also try www.ashleymadison.com It's a site for married people looking for discreet encounters. Good luck!
|
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 82
10 37 hugs
given |
#13
I've heard that these BDSM sites have many trolls or members that are horrible to newbies. This also goes on with Pagan sites. On Pagan sites its usually done by people who would be bullies (in normal situations) or those who are voyeurs with sad lives, just wanting to make themselves feel better.
Why do people do this on BDSM sites as it takes a lot of 'guts' to join-up and open-up, with your innermost thoughts and desires? __________________ As Always: "This Too, Shall Pass" |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
10 77 hugs
given |
#14
Quote:
Why would people join PC under false pretenses? Things like this happen all across the internet, not just bdsm sites. __________________ "Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
|
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 82
10 37 hugs
given |
#15
__________________ As Always: "This Too, Shall Pass" |
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 177
7 |
#16
Quote:
Very. |
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
10 77 hugs
given |
#17
__________________ "Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
Reply With Quote |
Supreme Artisan
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 6,618
9 205 hugs
given |
#18
__________________ MY BLOG IS NOW CONVENIENTLY LOCATED HERE!! [UPDATED: 4/30/2017] LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!! |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Member
Member Since May 2015
Location: NY
Posts: 778
9 37 hugs
given |
#19
I don't really know much about this, but I've noticed with the limited amount of experience I have on dating sites and apps that I've come across married or committed people in open relationships. So you could always try looking there.
|
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 177
7 |
#20
|
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|