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Foreign_Soul
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Trig Jun 30, 2013 at 01:37 PM
  #1
I don't know what to do and am so worried!

My seven year old son is in foster care (my sociopathic "mother" made false statements to police who won't follow up the paperwork provided to them to prove the statements made are false).
Last year he was with a single man and two other boys, 13 and 15-6yrs old. Toward the end of that placement I became worried about my son being placed with teenagers- he was asking me to buy him girls clothing and saying he wanted to wear them too. I explained to him that boys don't really wear girls clothing, that it was ok if he wanted to try it on, but that I wouldn't buy any for him as I strongly believe that children need to be taught that they will be accepted for whoever they are, no matter what.

Anyway, he was moved after an allegation of physical abuse and has since been with an older single lady who has grandchildren. In January this year my son told this woman, and later myself and his psychologist, that his maternal grandmother had been making him wear girls clothing. I raised this repeatedly and am still far from impressed at the response to the allegation. My son also asked me once to search for videos on YouTube of "girls dancing in underwear". I asked him about this (he only learnt about YouTube through the teenage boys in his placement) but he said he was joking and hasn't said anything since. The way he said it at the time didn't really concern me but I made sure to make note of it.

However, tonight I received a phone call telling me that the carer's granddaughter was staying over and that my son had allegedly climbed into bed with her, pulled down her underwear, and kissed her.

Now I don't know what to do or think. Prior to his placement with the man and teenage boys last year there was nothing abnormal about my son's behaviour at all. But since then there have been a few things that, when put together, are quite suspicious. I'm worried that my son has been exposed to things he would never have seen/heard if he were home and I'm beginning to wonder if he was abused himself but I have no idea how to ask him about any of this.

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LiteraryLark
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Default Jun 30, 2013 at 01:48 PM
  #2
It sounds like sexual abuse, you need to find a legit lawyer and fight to get your son back. He needs to be seen by a therapist. These are all red flags of sexual abuse. He may have been molested or raped and has no outlet or way to deal with it.

My first thought was maybe he is transexual, but pulling a girls underwear down and being forced to wear girl's clothing sounds like serious abuse/trauma.
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Default Jun 30, 2013 at 01:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Foreign_Soul View Post
he was asking me to buy him girls clothing and saying he wanted to wear them too. I explained to him that boys don't really wear girls clothing, that it was ok if he wanted to try it on, but that I wouldn't buy any for him as I strongly believe that children need to be taught that they will be accepted for whoever they are, no matter what.
Erm that seems rather contridictory to me. Maybe he wants to experiment with cross dressing being a part of who he is.

Anyway, raise the police not following up on paperwork issue with a lawyer. I'd also be wary that he may have been sexually abused, but it may just be innocent childhood experimentation and curiousity.

Perhaps ask his psychologist to explore the possibility of sexual abuse with him.
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Default Jun 30, 2013 at 11:29 PM
  #4
I agree with the others - you need a lawyer. You are alarmed, which is understandable, but to act on your worries and suspicions, you need to have your legal rights back.
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Default Jun 30, 2013 at 11:37 PM
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I think you seriously need to get a lawyer and your son needs to receive some serious therapy because it does sound like he has been exposed to something very terrible. I'm sorry this has happened to you and your son.
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