High sex drive - no partner

I have been divorced for 2 1/2 years now. I always wanted more sex than my husband cared for. Now, I find myself just really wanting sex. I am a single mom with a 10 year old. I have never had a partner than my husband. (I'm not attractive so don't get asked out, etc...) I finally bought a sex toy and that has helped, but it isn't the same as a real body with you, inside you, etc... Sometimes, I think about wearing a shirt that says, "Free sex! **** me for free!" Of course, I don't because I'm adult who is aware of STDs and rape when you have casual sex. Before now, I always believed sex should be about two people who care for each other and want to build more intimacy. But now, my sexual needs are leading me to think in a different way, about just finding a man and doing it! I know sex is not required for living. But sometimes it feels like it is! Is something wrong with me??

No, it is quite normal for women who have high sex drives. But now you have a 10 year old to care for, and you have to think about the impact it would have if suddenly the ten year old sees you sneaking in man after man into the bedroom at night. Divorce is hard enough on kids, I would really consider their feelings before bringing someone else or multiple people into their lives. That's not to say you shouldn't have sex because of your kid. You certainly have the right, but I'd be more careful because I know kids are very sensitive, so maybe limit the sex to when your kid is not at home, or go to the man's house and hire a babysitter.

Have you ever considered seeing a therapist or a sex counselor for this? It sounds like you know not to jump in to casual sex, but I am not sure if you do understand why you are having these feelings, which are very important to identify (it does not say here).

You should be able to acquire some free sex by going to the appropriate bar.

Since your husband did marry you, you were attractive enough for him to ask you out. So?.. Not that unattractive.

Sex is not something that "should be" in any way. As long as it is consensual, it does not entail any "should" things. If you just want sex but do not want to build intimacy, go for it. It is not as needed for living as food or water, true, but still pretty important.

Since you mentioned STDs and rape, maybe try online (chatrooms, Skype, and what have you) just to see how it goes. It is not a living breathing body inside you, but I would say that it is better than sex toys, because it is with people, even though you do not touch them. I think this would be the obvious first step for you, between not having any sex and having an actual in-person partner.

Take precautions if you go that route - use anonymous browsing (Safari Private Browsing, Chrome Incognito, Internet Explorer must have something similar, etc.), clear your cookies regularly, do not store search history ever, etc. All of that due to your having a 10 year old. Be careful.

When I started using Skype (my Skype image is a white bird and my userid contains a name that reveals that I am a female, but no other identifying information), I had people with very interesting userids Skype me (the userids pointed to their being sufficiently endowed). I could not figure out why - I did not ask for it. Scores of people. I finally figured it out - my settings had "Skype me!" - the least private option. I switched to stricter settings. But if you want to see where this kind of safe fun takes you, put your Skype on SkypeME! and see what happens - just, once again, be careful and discreet given that you have a child.

There are other options in RL - you will just need to balance your needs with your child's needs.

Hi Aliciainwonderland,

Have you tried anything yet? If so, how did it go? I hope you have some good news! Wish I had some advice to offer, but I'm in a similar situation.

Best of luck and be careful out there!

Where were all these women with high sex drives when I was dating?